| I’ll have you know I am am the CEO of transgenre and will trans all your kids if you don’t stop IMMEDIATELY 🤬🤬🤬🤬 | |
| Your men | |
| Sissified | |
| Your tomboys | |
| Gr00med |
| My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, ‘If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.’. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- ‘Don’t ever smoke. Please don’t put your family through what your Grandfather put us through.” I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway. |
| In 1992, while still working for Microsoft, Gabe got in touch with a few minor demons who were working in the accounts department. During a night of heretical drunken debauchery, one of them bet Gabe Newell that he couldn't do a triple backflip with three quarter turnpike off the bar and onto the floor. Gabe performed it effortlessly, and so the two entered into a blood pact - the sole condition being that Gabe could invoke the will of the demon in his hour of need. Twenty years passed and Gabe is in his office, reading a press release for Windows 8. "This Windows store could ruin us. If Microsoft succeeds in this landgrab then Steam could be locked out of the Windows platform - the free will become bound and there will be pestilence and famine among mankind". "Fear ye not," spake the Demon. "I will light a spark which will implant into the mind of a mortal soul a device of cunning such that the fruit shall save your business and break the chains of the oppressor." "That'd be pretty sweet, cheers bro" retorte |
| There’s no cords in this house | |
| There’s no cords in this house | |
| There’s no cords in this house | |
| I said certified IEEE, | |
| seven days a week Wireless access point, |
| -12px = -12px | |
| -24px = -24px | |
| OSSection-27GaV2 = OSSection-1W7BUn | |
| Shine-2sIJ1p = Shine-2gtL99 | |
| aboutMeBody-3GuvKk = aboutMeBody-1J8rhz | |
| aboutMeGuildIcon-36UmEK = aboutMeGuildIcon-1AzRSE | |
| aboutMeGuildIconTooltip-1hnrui = aboutMeGuildIconTooltip-2cYR0X | |
| aboutMeSection-1Fw5Ia = aboutMeSection-PUghFQ | |
| aboutMeTitle-1IYtPE = aboutMeTitle-3pjiS7 | |
| absoluteFill-145S64 = absoluteFill-10sFRy |
| alias getlmms="git clone --recurse-submodules -b master https://github.com/lmms/lmms && cd ./lmms && mkdir build" | |
| alias buildlmms='cmake .. -DCMAKE_INSTALL_PREFIX=../target/ -Wno-dev -DWANT_CARLA=ON -DWANT_VST=ON -DCMAKE_PREFIX_PATH=/usr/lib/wine && make -j14' | |
| alias updatelmms="git remote update && git pull && git submodule update --init --recursive" | |
| alias uablmms="updatelmms && cd ./build && buildlmms" | |
| alias fullmms="getlmms && buildlmms" |
| I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. | |
| What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. | |
| It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children. |
| ⚠️WARNING⚠️ | |
| cock inspection is NOT required at the voting booths!!!! don't be tricked like me!! | |
| So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting! |
| Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly. |
