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Last active August 29, 2015 14:01
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CSC 581 Draft Review: nclarke's "Analysis of Standalone Gaze Tracking Methodology"

Overall I like the flow of your paper. You make it very clear what you are saying by explicitly describing your intent.

Rubric

Topic Knowledge

Seems extensive

Relevance

Highly relevant to usability

Topic Difficulty

Seems like a very complex topic in a relatively young field.

Supporting Evidence

Significant evidence coming from related work. Actual experimental results "COMING SOON..."

Organization

I really like the structured organization of this paper. Excellent use of a hierarchical breakdown. Guessing one or more of the authors is a veteran of a Clark Turner class ;)

Appearance

Good consistent use of the google docs formatting styles. Personally I think LaTeX ends up looking better but within the medium the appearance of this is great.

Length

At present rate it seems like the final version will be quite long, but that is probably appropriate for three authors?

Specific Comments

2. Introduction

Not sure what this means "Gaze tracking has been successfully convinced"

3. Background

Second paragraph, "...valid way to gether ample mobile..."

4. Related Works

4.1

There's two space between "better" and "appraisal"

4.2-4.3

If I understand correctly, there will be 6 sections here (one for each paper) in the final version? At the current rate of about 1 page per paper, that seems like a large portion of your paper directed towards discussing the related works. Seems like a lot to me, maybe not if this is intended as a sort-of survey paper.

5. Critique Desktop Paper

Especially with this section too!

5.1

"rears up to the crux" curious metaphor :)

5.2

I wouldn't call these "potential" arguments. They are arguments if you're making them!

I don't think the commas are necessary here: "...allowing the user to interact with the device, glasses-free, provides a much more..."

5.3

I would drop the comma here and replace "plus" with "and": "Based on our ability to counter the arguments presented against the standalone environment, plus provide our own reasons for why our potential method will succeed..."

This sentence is hard to read - might be one too many commas? "Thus, mobile being the future, the benefit of this research, reaches farther than we can see."

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