You know how sometimes you connect your Raspberry Pi to a wifi network and then you have absolutely no way of finding out its IP address (Zeroes are particularly bad for this)? Well, I fixed it. Paste the run-once-at-boot-time systemd script into /etc/systemd/system/pivertiser.service and enable it with sudo systemctl enable pivertiser.service, paste the terrible bash hack into /home/pi/pivertiser.sh and chmod +x /home/pi/pivertiser.sh, then reboot your pi and it should show its face over here
Those addresses are stored in a hash keyed on hostname, so clearly if you never rename your pi from raspberrypi then this is an astonishingly terrible solution, but it's just solved a little problem for me. And you can of course run your own instance on Heroku if you want to