The following transcripts were recorded during human - computer interaction.

# C

    Programmer: okay, give me the numbers one by one.

    Computer: I don't know how to "by" "one" and "one".

    P: what? Just... is there a number at the top left of the page?

    C: yes.

    P: ok, step 1: read that out loud.

    C: fourteen.

    P: thanks. Now look immediately to the right: if there's a number there too,
    go back to step 1.

    C: nine.

    P: got it.

    C: thirty-five.

    P: got it.

    C ¹#$€^@^%$

    P: what?

    C: >?!³¤€@3

    P: I don't get it :(

    C: `~;€@#$%

    P: we have to finish this, can you please stop?


# Haskell
    Programmer: give me the aggregate result of applying the described
    transformation to all the elements of the list obtained in reducing the
    dataset generated by the act of multiplying these numbers from left to right
    when sorted incrementally.

    Computer: ok.

    P: so how much is it?

    C: oh, you wanted it _done_?

    P: as soon as I sent that newline through stdin :)

    C: you did _what_, _where_!?


# Java
    Programmer: give me the names of the members in the "members" file.

    Computer: right away, boss. How do we do that?

    P: well, go read the "members" list and get me the names there.

    C: "members" is just a word, what list :S?

    P: the File, called "members" man, the names are in there.

    C: oh this File! What do we do with it then?

    P: open it, read it, give me the names. This is stupid.

    C: how many bytes?

    P: for god's sake just Buffer it, then run a Scanner through it to get me
    each name.

    C: running the Scanner boss, but I all see here is just a bunch of text,
    not Members.

    P: each line has the name of a member, then ':', then a bunch of stuff. Just
    get me the stupid name in each line.

    C: what do you mean "each"?

    P: ... start at the first line,...


# Bash
    Programmer: to each number of the file, add 10 and print it.

    C: Easy! f10, i10, l10, e10

    P: what? not _of_ the file sorry, _in_ the file.

    C: Oh, here then: 410, 2310, 35910, 6510, 310

    P: no, dude, _add_ 10, those are numbers, don't _append_ 10.

    C: you tell me that now? we spend all day working with text, you gotta let
    me know when you want to work with numbers.

    P: ok, what do you want me to say?

    C: just say something like "I AM GOING TO NEED YOU TO USE MATH IN THE
    FOLLOWING SENTENCE", no confusion possible.


# Javascript
    Programmer: tell jQuery to apply the transformation we discussed to all
    these numbers.

    Computer: (got it) what should I do when that is done?

    P: then tell jQuery to sum up all the results.

    C: (ok) and after that?

    P: share it with me :)

    C: ok, gimme a sec.

    P: sure.

    C: done :D the result is not a number!

    P: what? Since when?

    C: well it has been for a while :S should I have told you when that
    happened?


# C++
    Programmer: so this HashMap thing, can be of lists, of integers, of strings,
    etc.

    Computer: got it.

    P: good, let's make one for strings.

    C: we seem to be having a problem.

    P: which is...?

    C: it's kinda hard to read out loud, but also pretty long. Should I spell
    it very fast in one big breath?


# Smalltalk
    Programmer: so they told me to print the first 100 natural numbers.

    Computer: easy! we can tell Console to do that.

    P: he seems cool. And to get the numbers?

    C: well, we could ask 1 to give us himself and his superiors, up to 100.

    P: numbers talk?


# Python
    Programmer: if somebody asks, don't tell them I gave you the address.

    Computer: silly, you know I can't keep secrets :)

    P: I... well, whatever. Give me a call on the road.

    C: I can't drive and talk to you at the same time! I'll just text you during
    red lights, it'll be just as if we were chatting while I drive :D

# SQL
    Programmer: I closed the tab, give me the guest's name

    Computer: I have the names here, which one again?

    P: the one in the invitation.

    C: which invitation?

    P: the one for the dinner, man

    C: which dinner?

    P: ... jesus, the last one we had. Yesterday's.

    C: ok I got the invitations, which one of these?

    P: _the one I gave you one minute ago_

    C: so the just the _name_ on _this one_ invitation only?

    P: YES

# Visual Basic
    Programmer: ok so go get all this stuff to the market.

    Computer: what if I don't find something on the list?

    P: just carry on with the next line, nobody will notice.