historic_mins.ash

# the best things in life are free.
# of other definitely-not-the-best things in life, some stay cheap.

int mall_min(item it) {
	return it.tradeable? max(100, 2*it.autosell_price()) : -1;
}

void historic_mins() {
	string[string,int] thems;
	string category;
	int[string] cat_counts;
	int total = 0;

	foreach it in $items[]{
		if (it.tradeable && it.historical_price() == it.mall_min()) {
			category = (it.to_slot()!=$slot[none])? `equipment: {it.to_slot()}` : it.item_type();
			if (category.length() < 1) {
				if (it.combat || it.combat_reusable)
					category = 'combat item';
				else if (it.string_modifier('Effect').to_effect() != $effect[none])
					category = 'potions';
				else if (it.usable || it.reusable)
					category = 'usable';
				else if (it.pasteable | it.smithable | it.cookable | it.mixable)
					category = 'ingredient';
				else
					category = '???';
			}
			thems[category, it.historical_price()] += (thems[category,it.historical_price()].length()>0? ', ' : '') +`{it}`;
			cat_counts[category]++;
			total++;
		}
	}
	print(`Saw {total} minimum-priced items today, {now_to_string("E d LLL yyyy")}.`);
	foreach itype in thems {
		sort thems[itype] by index;
		print(`{itype.to_upper_case()} ({cat_counts[itype]})`, 'blue');
		foreach price,stuff in thems[itype]
			print(`... {price} meat @ {stuff}`);
	}
}

void main() {
	historic_mins();
}

/*

> historic_mins

Saw 1538 minimum-priced items today, Wed 23 Jun 2021.
??? (137)
... 100 meat @ meat paste, Pick-O-Matic lockpicks, pirate pelvis, green pixel, blue pixel, guitar pick, star, line, Valentine, plastic passion fruit, length of string, googly eye, felt, wooden block, dusty second cervical vertebra, dusty third cervical vertebra, dusty fourth cervical vertebra, dusty sixth cervical vertebra, dusty seventh cervical vertebra, dusty sixth thoracic vertebra, dusty eighth thoracic vertebra, dusty tenth thoracic vertebra, dusty second lumbar vertebra, dusty third lumbar vertebra, dusty fifth lumbar vertebra, dusty sixth lumbar vertebra, dusty seventh lumbar vertebra, dusty sacral vertebrae, dusty second caudal vertebra, dusty third caudal vertebra, dusty fourth caudal vertebra, dusty sixth caudal vertebra, dusty seventh caudal vertebra, dusty left first rib, dusty left second rib, dusty left third rib, dusty left fourth rib, dusty left fifth rib, dusty left sixth rib, dusty left seventh rib, dusty left eighth rib, dusty left ninth rib, dusty left tenth rib, dusty left twelfth rib, dusty right first rib, dusty right second rib, dusty right third rib, dusty right fourth rib, dusty right fifth rib, dusty right sixth rib, dusty right eighth rib, dusty right tenth rib, dusty right twelfth rib, dusty left scapula, dusty right scapula, dusty left clavicle, dusty right clavicle, dusty left humerus, dusty right humerus, dusty left radius, dusty left ulna, dusty right ulna, dusty left femur, dusty right femur, dusty left tibia, dusty right tibia, dusty left fibula, dusty left kneecap, dusty right kneecap, dusty left second front claw, dusty left fourth front claw, dusty right first front claw, dusty right second front claw, dusty right third front claw, dusty right fourth front claw, dusty left thumb, dusty right thumb, dusty left first rear claw, dusty left second rear claw, dusty left third rear claw, dusty left fourth rear claw, dusty right first rear claw, dusty right second rear claw, dusty right third rear claw, dusty right fourth rear claw, tooth, decomposed boot, toy hoverpad, marshmallow, dull fish scale, hellseal whisker, hellseal claw, arrowgram, ninja rope, ninja crampons, ninja carabiner, electrical thingamabob, eleven-foot pole, drum of tommy ammo, "KICK ME" sign, sleeve deuce, mangled squirrel, VYKEA bracket, Source essence, negative lump, stick of firewood, soggy gingerbread chunk, peppermint eel sauce, flimsy hardwood scraps
... 108 meat @ rat carcass
... 120 meat @ anemone sauce, inky squid sauce, Mer-kin weaksauce
... 130 meat @ black label
... 150 meat @ viscous lava globs
... 184 meat @ yeti fur
... 200 meat @ star chart, leather bookmark
... 300 meat @ half of a gold tooth
... 346 meat @ dwarvish magazine
... 370 meat @ glob of green slime
... 400 meat @ empty Cloaca-Cola bottle
... 500 meat @ valuable trinket, huge gold coin
... 600 meat @ pile of gold coins
... 1000 meat @ soggy seed packet, dollar-sign bag, tangle of copper wire, valuable coin
... 2000 meat @ fancy seashell necklace, commemorative war stein, massive gemstone
... 10000 meat @ solid gold bowling ball, really dense meat stack
... 20000 meat @ 1952 Mickey Mantle card, silver cow skull
... 39400 meat @ 1,970 carat gold
AVATAR POTION (161)
... 100 meat @ fireclutch, Enchanted Plunger, Enchanted Flyswatter, Gearhead Goo, Missing Eye Simulation Device, Gnollish Crossdress, eldritch dough, Charity's choker, Smart Bone Dust, perpendicular guano, White Chocolate Golem Seeds, Shivering Chèvre, giant breath mint, enchanted muesli, glass of warm milk, glass of gnat milk, Knob Goblin Mutagen, Tears of the Quiet Healer, giant tube of black lipstick, skelelton spine, blob of acid, flayed mind, kobold kibble, forest spirit rattle, Stone Golem pebbles, spooky gravy fairy warlock hat, bull blubber, tiny canopic jar, clove-flavored lip balm, Skullery Maid's Knee, zombie hollandaise, skeletal banana, janglin' bones, pygmy papers, pygmy dart, secret mummy herbs and spices, brigand brittle, holistic headache remedy, scrunchie tourniquet, embezzler's oil, ravenous eye, Rogue Windmill Rouge, A muse-bouche, gold toothbrush, una poca de gracia, compressed air canister, salt water taffy, Bangyomaman battle juice, handyman "hand soap", space marine flash grenade, temporary tribal tattoo, oil-filled donut, BRICKO stud, Osk'r Chow, Scuba Snack, grey cube, booby trap, censored can label, ectoplasm <i>au jus</i>, the kindest cold cut, ASCII fu manchu, demonic surgical gloves, cheap clip-on ninja tie, gamer slurry, temporary yak tattoo, Fitspiration™ poster, giant neckbeard, artisanal hand-squeezed wheatgrass juice, punk patch, steampunk potion, vial of swamp vapors, turtle mud, Redeye™ Eyedrops, Dweebisol™ inhaler, tomato soup poster, bubblin' chemistry solution, voodoo glowskull, pygmy adder oil, pygmy witchhazel, short deposition, straw pole, electric copperhead potion, ninja fear powder, ninja eyeblack, button rouge, Red Army camouflage kit, lynyrd skinner toothblack, flask of rainwater, blue oyster badge, plastic Jefferson wings, dancing fan, page of the Necrohobocon, black magic powder, black friar's tonsure, alien hologram projector, piggy tattoo, little red .epub file, hustler shades, spicy jerky stick, costume rental shop, muscle oil, bottle of Red-Out, pickpocket protector, jazzy cigarette holder, one glove, leather glove, Cracklin' Oat Bran, disposable lighter, coal contact lenses, conjured ice cream, Iceberglar scarf, icy hairspray, smellbook, assassin's cheese knife, filthy armor, plague pie, batarang, spare neck bolts, grease trap, shamanic ham, porkpocket, Leonard's glasses, warehouse walkie-talkie, warehouse clerk's glasses, baloney rotgut, carton of gaspers, bronze polish, crident, totally sweet mohawk helmet, spray chrome, damp bar rag, lump of goofball ore, iron torso box, mercenary headband, radioactive spider venom, x-ray mirror, wrestling mask, hawkface potion, child-sized dracula cloak, devil-summoning hat, shopkeeper beard, alien autoautopsy kit, novelty fruit hat, invisibility cream, handful of stubble, garbage juice slurpee, plunge-leg, funky eyepatch, bucket of fish juice, flashy pirate dreadlocks, captured boozles, drinks tray, eyebrow lifter, Kudzu slaw, Mansquito's blood, infrablack lipstick, bag of random words, tube of pendulum lube, red-hot jawbreaker, question juice, tube of villain white
BOOTSKIN (4)
... 600 meat @ mountain lion skin, grizzled bearskin, diamondback skin, coal snakeskin
BOOZE (83)
... 100 meat @ ice-cold Sir Schlitz, ice-cold Willer, ice-cold fotie, bottle of gin, shot of orange schnapps, shot of grapefruit schnapps, Imp Ale, Mad Train wine, bottle of rum, boxed wine, dusty bottle of Port, dusty bottle of Pinot Noir, dusty bottle of Muscat, Blackfly Chardonnay, moonberry wine cooler, shot of rotgut, elven squeeze, beery blood, water purification pills, tankard of ale, backwoods screwdriver, unnamed cocktail, Green Manalishi, red red wine, red rum, mini-martini, unflavored wine cooler, premium malt liquor, Citrus Crush wine cooler, barrel-aged martini, ice porter, Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey
... 110 meat @ Ram's Face Lager
... 114 meat @ papaya sling, papaya slung
... 116 meat @ Cobb's Knob Wurstbrau
... 120 meat @ bloody beer, vodka and cranberry, beertini, redrum
... 128 meat @ snifter of thoroughly aged brandy
... 130 meat @ screwdriver, martini, whiskey sour, strawberry daiquiri, vodka martini, whiskey and soda, monkey wrench, tequila sunrise, margarita, strawberry wine, wine spritzer, bottle of popskull, bottle of cooking sherry, accidental cider, bilge wine, Typical Tavern swill, junk yard
... 132 meat @ flute of flat champagne
... 140 meat @ slug of vodka, slug of rum, slug of shochu
... 148 meat @ whiskey and cola
... 150 meat @ rum and cola, bottle of Evermore
... 170 meat @ can of Swiller, melted Jell-o shot, cruelty-free wine, thistle wine, electric snakebite
... 190 meat @ Alewife™ Ale
... 230 meat @ roll in the hay, slap and tickle, slip 'n' slide, pink pony, rockin' wagon, ocean motion, ducha de oro, calle de miel
... 260 meat @ painting of a glass of wine
... 350 meat @ plum wine
... 360 meat @ Supernova Champagne
... 400 meat @ slimy fermented bile bladder
COMBAT ITEM (163)
... 100 meat @ seal tooth, spices, spider web, barbed-wire fence, patchouli incense stick, Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment, white picket fence, Knob Goblin seltzer, vial of patchouli oil, disease, wussiness potion, cast, sonar-in-a-biscuit, shaving cream, mariachi G-string, top, ball, onion shurikens, flaregun, fancy dress ball, tropical orchid, stick of dynamite, half-rotten brain, rusty bonesaw, handful of sand, Bohemian rhapsody, bottled swamp gas, cocktail napkin, mylar scout drone, divine noisemaker, divine can of silly string, terrible poem, bargain flash powder, black spot, imitation crab meat, grass clippings, shard of double-ice, d10, d12, d20, clumsiness bark, whimpering willow bark, half-empty carton of milk, ancient poisoned dart, pool torpedo, CSA obedience grenade, vial of holy water, Duskwalker syringe, tube of herbal ointment, pencil kunai, twisted piece of wire, angry inch, blob of wood glue, clutch of dodecapede eggs, surgical tape, Junk-Bond, jagged scrap metal, molten scrap metal, Way More Tears™ pepper spray, carton of rotten eggs, throwing knife, throwing spoon, throwing fork, blowdart, fire of unknown origin, cigarette lighter, red button, firebomb, droopy doll eye, turtle-shaped rock, special clip: tracers, special clip: wailers, special clip: squelchers, janitor sponge, bag of gross foreign snacks, grody jug, paisley spore pod, veiny spore pod, hard spore pod, hot spore pod, cool spore pod, jingling spore pod, realistic cap gun, gas can, electronics kit, very small red dress, thick walrus blubber, tiny bomb, gingernade, grain of sand, intact anemone spike
... 104 meat @ Dyspepsi-Cola, Cloaca-Cola
... 110 meat @ grouchy restless spirit, can of Ghuol-B-Gone™, bronzed locust, flaming feather, frightful feather, Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste, handful of sawdust, Battlie Light Saver, brass gear, chunk of hot iron
... 114 meat @ 33398 scroll
... 116 meat @ Mountain Stream soda
... 120 meat @ cloudy potion, pencil stub
... 130 meat @ Knob Goblin stink bomb, leftovers of indeterminate origin, 8-ball, inkwell
... 132 meat @ fat bottom quark
... 134 meat @ frigid ninja stars
... 138 meat @ New Age healing crystal
... 144 meat @ Ye Olde Medieval Insult
... 150 meat @ powdered organs, rocky raccoon, underwater slingshot
... 160 meat @ pink-belly slapper, chipotle wasabi cilantro aioli, book of matches, adder
... 170 meat @ bottle of alcohol, anemone nematocyst, spooky alphabet block
... 176 meat @ El Vibrato punchcard (88 holes), killing jar
... 192 meat @ hedgeturtle, New Age hurting crystal
... 198 meat @ crude voodoo doll
... 200 meat @ antique hand mirror, round blue bomb, Kokomo Resort Order Pad
... 210 meat @ tongue depressor
... 220 meat @ fabric softener
... 230 meat @ short calculator
... 240 meat @ sausage bomb
... 244 meat @ pygmy blowgun
... 248 meat @ chaos butterfly
... 256 meat @ plot hole
... 260 meat @ depantsing bomb, palm-frond net
... 276 meat @ procrastination potion
... 288 meat @ photoprotoneutron torpedo
... 300 meat @ Dyspepsi grenade, Cloaca grenade, patchouli oil bomb, ferret bait, exploding hacky-sack, sake bomb, tequila grenade, water pipe bomb, gas balloon, beer bomb, molotov cocktail cocktail, ovoid leather thing
... 350 meat @ spangly unitard
... 360 meat @ crazy hobo notebook
... 400 meat @ fancy bath salts, stone frisbee, fireball
... 432 meat @ El Vibrato punchcard (216 holes)
... 700 meat @ painted turtle
DRINK HELPER (1)
... 100 meat @ divine champagne flute
EQUIPMENT: ACC1 (82)
... 100 meat @ walrus-tusk earring, ring of half-assed regeneration, big red clown nose, arrrgyle socks, dirty hobo gloves, vampire collar, pat-a-cake pendant, enchanted handwarmer, whalebone corset, oven mitts, orc wrist, screwing pooch, old school calculator watch, haggis socks, actual reality goggles, ring of Detect Boring Doors, moustache sock, flask flops, red shoe, glow-in-the-dark necklace, portable cassette player, jaunty feather, tiny plastic golden gundam
... 110 meat @ clownskin belt
... 120 meat @ acid-squirting flower, clown shoes, Pine-Fresh air freshener, white collar, neverending wallet chain, dorky glasses, ponytail clip, noticeable pumps
... 130 meat @ infernal insoles, witch wart
... 150 meat @ shiny ring, hemp string, peace-sign necklace
... 152 meat @ first-aid pouch
... 160 meat @ sk8board, Duskwalker fangs
... 170 meat @ gnoll-tooth necklace, imp unity ring
... 180 meat @ ring of aggravate monster, ring of adornment, ring of gain strength, ring of teleportation, Claybender glasses, badge of authority
... 190 meat @ disbelief suspenders, freshwater pearl necklace
... 200 meat @ giant pinky ring, tap shoes
... 210 meat @ eXtreme mittens, tortoboggan
... 214 meat @ gnatwing earring
... 220 meat @ giant motorcycle boots
... 240 meat @ lucky rabbit's foot
... 244 meat @ heat-resistant gloves
... 246 meat @ shiny tribal beads
... 260 meat @ enormous hoop earring
... 280 meat @ hippy medical kit
... 300 meat @ expensive camera, cheap sunglasses
... 330 meat @ glowing red eye
... 370 meat @ toy crazy train
... 400 meat @ chintzy seal pendant, chintzy turtle brooch, chintzy noodle ring, chintzy saucepan earring, chintzy disco ball pendant, chintzy accordion pin, frayed rope belt
... 410 meat @ amulet of extreme plot significance
... 500 meat @ lucky bottlecap, lucky rabbitfish fin
... 600 meat @ orange leather lanyard
... 700 meat @ diving muff
... 800 meat @ torquoise ring
... 1000 meat @ solid gold pegleg, hopping socks
... 1500 meat @ ye olde golde frontes
... 2000 meat @ bejeweled accordion strap
EQUIPMENT: BACK (9)
... 100 meat @ pillow shell, whatsit-covered turtle shell, oil shell, frozen turtle shell, shocked shell
... 290 meat @ black cloak
... 2000 meat @ Misty Cloak, Misty Robe, Misty Cape
EQUIPMENT: FAMILIAR (17)
... 100 meat @ iced-out bling, hot pink lipstick, miniature life preserver
... 150 meat @ prosthetic forehead, sucky decal, tiny knife and fork, annoying pitchfork, ant hoe, ant rake, ant pitchfork, ant sickle, ant pick, guard turtle collar, filthy child leash, li'l unicorn costume, li'l candy corn costume
... 190 meat @ tiny bowler
EQUIPMENT: HAT (59)
... 100 meat @ helmet turtle, ravioli hat, disco mask, Dolphin King's crown, eyepatch, mullet wig, Knob Goblin harem veil, foolscap fool's cap, bum cheek, coconut shell, Dyspepsi-Cola helmet, Cloaca-Cola helmet, knobby helmet turtle, seal-skull helmet, turtlemail coif, mariachi hat, Hollandaise helmet, Ze™ goggles, pickelhaube, oversized skullcap, crêepy mask, brown paper bag mask
... 110 meat @ irate sombrero, brown felt tophat
... 116 meat @ muddy pirate hat
... 120 meat @ barskin hat, balloon helmet, pentagram bandana, ratty knitted cap
... 130 meat @ Knob Goblin elite helm, goat beard, leather mask, guard turtle shell, Mark I Steam-Hat
... 150 meat @ demon-horned hat
... 160 meat @ filthy knitted dread sack, Orcish baseball cap, Knob Goblin visor
... 180 meat @ cold ninja mask, miner's helmet
... 188 meat @ powdered wig
... 190 meat @ lihc face, cornuthaum
... 200 meat @ safarrri hat
... 220 meat @ eXtreme scarf, antique helmet
... 240 meat @ draggin' ball hat
... 250 meat @ moose antlers
... 260 meat @ f3d0r4
... 290 meat @ oil cap
... 310 meat @ Mohawk wig
... 330 meat @ wolf mask
... 350 meat @ meatloaf helmet
... 356 meat @ Mer-kin sneakmask
... 360 meat @ bellhop's hat
... 410 meat @ giant discarded bottlecap
... 800 meat @ ganger bandana
... 1000 meat @ crown-shaped beanie, muskox-skin cap
EQUIPMENT: OFF-HAND (46)
... 100 meat @ foon, magical ice cubes, magic lamp, turtle wax shield, snapdragon pistil, flimsy clipboard, loadstone, bone abacus, security flashlight, low-budget shield
... 110 meat @ coffin lid
... 120 meat @ orcish stud-finder, cosmetic football, surprisingly capacious handbag
... 130 meat @ 1-ball, 2-ball, 3-ball, 4-ball, 5-ball, 6-ball, 7-ball
... 150 meat @ Cloaca-Cola shield, padded tortoise
... 166 meat @ eye of the Tiger-lily
... 170 meat @ white satin shield, hot plate
... 186 meat @ ancient stone head
... 190 meat @ hors d'oeuvre tray
... 200 meat @ flaming talons
... 220 meat @ rice bowl, antique shield, rubber ribcage
... 240 meat @ snake shield, Whatsian Ionic Pliers, creepy voice box
... 264 meat @ disturbing fanfic
... 280 meat @ tip jar
... 300 meat @ oyster basket, glowing esca
... 400 meat @ Tuesday's ruby
... 800 meat @ Mer-kin takebag
... 1000 meat @ enchanted brass knuckles
... 3000 meat @ moxie magnet
... 4000 meat @ Necrotelicomnicon, Cookbook of the Damned, Sinful Desires
EQUIPMENT: PANTS (38)
... 100 meat @ mariachi pants, Knob Goblin pants, white satin pants, Knob Goblin harem pants, Cloaca-Cola fatigues, Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues, union scalemail pants, turtle wax greaves, ironic jogging shorts, stylish swimsuit, three-legged pants, brown paper pants
... 120 meat @ Knob Goblin Uberpants, bloody clown pants, los chinos
... 130 meat @ Knob Goblin elite pants
... 150 meat @ ninja hot pants
... 160 meat @ filthy corduroys, Orcish cargo shorts
... 170 meat @ spangly mariachi pants, dress pants, troll britches
... 180 meat @ miner's pants, swashbuckling pants
... 190 meat @ Whoompa Fur Pants
... 200 meat @ leotarrrd
... 220 meat @ snowboarder pants, antique greaves, gold lamé pants, oil slacks
... 260 meat @ 1337 7r0uZ0RZ
... 264 meat @ lava-proof pants
... 280 meat @ basic meat pants, basic meat skirt, basic meat kilt
... 290 meat @ sticky meat skirt
... 600 meat @ pin-stripe slacks
... 800 meat @ monster pants
EQUIPMENT: SHIRT (17)
... 100 meat @ harem girl t-shirt, Knob Goblin elite shirt, filthy hippy poncho, white hat hacker T-shirt, turtlemail hauberk
... 120 meat @ shoe ad T-shirt, denim jacket
... 150 meat @ unrequired jacket
... 190 meat @ ghost toga
... 210 meat @ goth kid t-shirt, souvenir ski t-shirt
... 250 meat @ bronze breastplate
... 270 meat @ Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket, General Sage's Lonely Diamonds Club Jacket, Corporal Fennel's Lonely Clubs Club Jacket, Private Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Jacket
... 1200 meat @ letterman's jacket
EQUIPMENT: WEAPON (154)
... 100 meat @ seal-clubbing club, turtle totem, pasta spoon, saucepan, disco ball, stolen accordion, asparagus knife, Knob Goblin scimitar, Knob Goblin tongs, spooky stick, third-hand nunchaku, skeleton bone, bone rattle, rubber axe, little paper umbrella, halfberd, tiny ninja sword, Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife, suede shortsword, grave robbing shovel, Gnollish pie server, Gnollish slotted spoon, Knob Goblin spatula, jack flapper, dishrag, chisel, scorpion whip, dreadlock whip, huge mosquito proboscis, out-of-tune biwa, dented harmonica, cheap plastic blowgun, hippy bongo, half-sized guitar, big bass drum, throwing wrench, pair of bolt cutters, beer-soaked mop, logging hatchet, airblaster gun, weighted paperclip chain, slide rule, boot knife, broken beer bottle, sharpened spoon, candy knife, soap knife, beer-battered accordion, baritone accordion, mama's squeezebox, guancertina, accordion file, accord ion, bone bandoneon, pentatonic accordion, non-Euclidean non-accordion, amok putter, sticky hand whip, cap gun, rubber spatula, remaindered axe, sewer snake
... 106 meat @ double-barreled sling
... 108 meat @ ancient stone fist
... 110 meat @ Knob Goblin deluxe scimitar
... 116 meat @ elephant stinger
... 120 meat @ slightly peevedbow, corn holder, infernal fife
... 130 meat @ Knob Goblin elite polearm, sabre teeth, flaming crutch, tambourine, wooden axe, filthy pestle, eggbeater, cardboard katana, pool cue, cardboard wakizashi
... 132 meat @ VYKEA hex key
... 136 meat @ giant spider leg
... 140 meat @ beaver spear
... 148 meat @ plastic guitar, goblin hunting spear
... 150 meat @ slingshot, knob bugle, pocket theremin, elegant nightstick
... 160 meat @ rusty grave robbing shovel, chopsticks, sword of static, squeaky staff
... 164 meat @ finger cymbals
... 170 meat @ Knob Goblin melon baller, grass whistle
... 172 meat @ goblin autoblowgun
... 180 meat @ Orcish frat-paddle, frozen nunchaku, 7-Foot Dwarven mattock, pitchfork
... 184 meat @ magic whistle
... 190 meat @ crowbarrr, diamond-studded cane, kneecapping stick, spooky bicycle chain, huge spoon, contract enforcement stick, protection stick
... 196 meat @ 4-dimensional guitar
... 200 meat @ vorpal blade, flaming sword, Space Tourist Phaser, barrel gun
... 210 meat @ spiked femur, goulauncher, oversized pizza cutter, giant artisanal rice peeler, haunted paddle-ball
... 220 meat @ antique spear
... 224 meat @ ninja mop
... 240 meat @ two-handed depthsword, ram stick, broken sword, serpentine sword, skate blade
... 250 meat @ costume sword, bone flute, lawnmower blade, Jacob's rung
... 260 meat @ ga-ga radio, curmudgel
... 280 meat @ Spirit Precipice, hawk
... 288 meat @ penguin whip
... 290 meat @ ocarina of space
... 300 meat @ obsidian nutcracker
... 310 meat @ ridiculously huge sword, witty rapier
... 320 meat @ eXtreme meat sword, eXtreme meat staff
... 330 meat @ giant needle, star boomerang
... 390 meat @ steel drivin' hammer, negotiatin' hammer
... 400 meat @ rubber band gun
... 410 meat @ giant discarded plastic fork
... 420 meat @ world's smallest violin
... 440 meat @ deep six-shooter
... 450 meat @ denim axe
... 470 meat @ silver shrimp fork
... 500 meat @ spearfish fishing spear
... 550 meat @ giant shrimp fork
... 600 meat @ Mer-kin hookspear
... 2000 meat @ antique accordion
FAMILIAR LARVA (1)
... 400 meat @ piece of coral
FOLDER (2)
... 100 meat @ folder (D-Team), folder (sportsballs)
FOOD (173)
... 100 meat @ hot buttered roll, bowl of cottage cheese, ketchup, catsup, ghuol egg, ghuol egg quiche, uncooked chorizo, carob chunks, White Citadel fries, White Citadel burger, white chocolate chips, white chocolate chip cookies, Knob mushroom, goat cheese, hot wing, Elfin shortbread, stalk of asparagus, abominable snowcone, toast, fruitcake, cranberries, Knoll mushroom, spooky mushroom, Knoll shroomkabob, stuffed spooky mushroom, poutine, candy cane, gingerbread bugbear, Knob shroomkabob, spooky shroomkabob, jumping bean burrito, rat scrapple, fricasseed brains, crazy little Turkish delight, desiccated apricot, ballroom blintz, black forest cake, antique packet of ketchup, fine aged cheddarwurst, Tiger-lily's milk, liver popsicle, liver and let pie, overcookie, Knob nuts, elven hardtack, berries of suffering, glowing fungus, nailswurst, gunpowder burrito, P.B.L.T., angst burger, bag of GORP, bag of GORF, decent brain, Taco Dan's Taco Stand Taco, haggis-wrapped haggis-stuffed haggis, giant grain of protein powder, high-calorie sugar substitute, custard pie, tea for one, red velvet cake, amok pudding, Mornington crescent roll, Choco-Mint patty, magical baguette, carton of snake milk, pigeon egg, plain bagel, glob of cream cheese, acceptable bagel, pestopiary, succulent marrow, salacious crumbs, Mt. McLargeHuge oyster, mineapple, smelted roe, pink slime, barrel pickle, raw green beans, raw stuffing, raw cranberry sauce, raw turkey, raw mincemeat, raw potato, raw gravy, raw bread, leftovers, PB&J with the crusts cut off, plain snowcone, pineapple slab, hibiscus petal, bowl of mernudo
... 102 meat @ rat appendix kabob
... 104 meat @ ghuol-ear kabob, chorizo taco, carob chunk cookies
... 108 meat @ bean burrito, enchanted bean burrito
... 110 meat @ spicy bean burrito, warm mushroom, stale baguette, lemon meringue pie, creamsicle, gunky chicken
... 114 meat @ pointy mushroom, philosopher's scone
... 116 meat @ t8r tots, Trollhouse cookies, Spam Witch sammich
... 120 meat @ spicy jumping bean burrito, ancient frozen dinner, dire fudgesicle, sea cauliflower
... 122 meat @ cool mushroom, vinegar-soaked lemon slice
... 128 meat @ papaya taco
... 130 meat @ spicy mushroom quesadilla, balaclava baklava, hot date, escargotsicle, bunch of square grapes, sea persimmon
... 132 meat @ royal jelly taco, jumping bean taco, stunt nuts, centipede eggs, bucket of honey
... 136 meat @ plain pizza
... 140 meat @ blackberry, sea broccoli
... 142 meat @ chorizo brownies
... 144 meat @ limp broccoli
... 146 meat @ handful of walnuts
... 150 meat @ cool mushroom casserole, carob chunk noodles, sea blueberry
... 154 meat @ royal jelly, good brain
... 156 meat @ mind flayer corpse
... 162 meat @ skewered cat appendix
... 168 meat @ goat cheese pizza, catgut taco, goat cheese taco, pr0n taco
... 170 meat @ Genalen™ Bottle, brain-meltingly-hot chicken wings, knob ka-bobs, imitation White Russian
... 176 meat @ exotic jungle fruit
... 180 meat @ savoy truffle, unidentified jerky
... 200 meat @ Double Bacon Beelzeburger, Lord of the Flies-sized fries, Brimstone Chicken Sandwich, flaming mushroom, frozen mushroom, stinky mushroom, maple syrup, mole molé
... 212 meat @ bat haggis
... 214 meat @ tofu casserole
... 218 meat @ Knob stroganoff
... 260 meat @ menudo ravioli
... 270 meat @ jungle floor wax
... 288 meat @ pr0n cocktail
... 300 meat @ insanely spicy bean burrito, plum, peach
... 304 meat @ insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito
... 400 meat @ slimy sweetbreads
... 700 meat @ sea carrot, sea cucumber, sea avocado
INGREDIENT (82)
... 100 meat @ pretty flower, wooden figurine, banjo strings, jabañero pepper, bar skin, rusty metal ring, rusty metal shaft, spooky shrunken head, sprocket assembly, cog and sprocket assembly, stone of eXtreme power, pie crust, ghuol ears, lihc eye, batgut, bat wing, guano coffee cup, rat appendix, wad of tofu, necklace chain, gnoll teeth, phat turquoise bead, white snake skin, hill of beans, hot katana blade, ruby W, catgut, cat appendix, ratgut, skeleton key, tambourine bells, broken skull, pile of jumping beans, eye of newt, cardboard ore, styrofoam ore, bubblewrap ore, petrified noodles, clown skin, beach glass bead, clay peace-sign bead, unstable quark, leaf of grass, popsicle stick, lynyrd skin
... 104 meat @ pr0n legs
... 110 meat @ ram horns, demon skin, skate skin
... 120 meat @ gnauga hide
... 128 meat @ icy katana hilt
... 140 meat @ tasket
... 150 meat @ black snake skin
... 190 meat @ yak skin
... 194 meat @ penguin skin
... 196 meat @ hippopotamus skin
... 198 meat @ stolen office supplies
... 200 meat @ meat stack
... 210 meat @ vampire pearl
... 216 meat @ full meat tank
... 236 meat @ gnatwing
... 248 meat @ meat engine
... 250 meat @ enormous belt buckle
... 258 meat @ furry fur, metallic A
... 270 meat @ heavy D
... 286 meat @ original G
... 300 meat @ leathery cat skin, shark tooth
... 500 meat @ tenderizing hammer
... 600 meat @ black gold
... 1000 meat @ hamethyst, baconstone, flask of Gnomochloric acid, barrel beryl
... 2000 meat @ dense meat stack
... 5000 meat @ steamy ruby, glacial sapphire, unearthly onyx, effluvious emerald, tawdry amethyst
... 24000 meat @ giant pearl
POTION (169)
... 100 meat @ tamarind-flavored chewing gum, lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum, jabañero-flavored chewing gum, Knob Goblin perfume, cordial of concentration, pine tar, Yummy Tummy bean, Rock Pops, Mr. Mediocrebar, Cold Hots candy, Wint-O-Fresh mint, Senior Mints, candied kobold, spooky eyeliner, spooky lipstick, Meleegra™ pills, Gummi-Gnauga, Sugar Cog, twinkly powder, hot powder, cold powder, spooky powder, stench powder, sleaze powder, perfume of prejudice, alphabet gum, handful of hand chalk, Bit O' Ectoplasm, Black No. 2, Daffy Taffy, swamp lolly, Steal This Candy, bazookafish bubble gum, love song of vague ambiguity, love song of smoldering passion, love song of naughty innuendo, Elvish delight, gun cleaning kit, Northern pemmican, abominable blubber, half-baked potion, resolution: be stronger, resolution: be smarter, resolution: be sexier, resolution: be feistier, that gum you like, Polysniff Perfume, vial of The Glistening, haggis-infused soap, magicberry tablets, Mer-kin ragejuice, pulled orange taffy, pulled violet taffy, jagged tooth, giant giant moth dust, glob of spoiled mayo, scrap metal, bent scrap metal, ironic mint, finger exerciser, dented spoon, old love note, nail file, crappy waiter disguise, one pill, lynyrd musk, red letter, red blood cells, red eye, robot grease, poppy, giraffe-necked turtle, programmable turtle, irradiated turtle, cigar box turtle, gourmet gourami oil, catfish whiskers, confiscated love note, mouse skull, really thick spine, mostly-broken sunglasses, Doc Galaktik's Vitality Serum, How to Avoid Scams, beard incense, turtle voicebox, ectoplasmic orbs, bowl of Jeal-O, exotic travel brochure, VYKEA woadpaint, triggerfingerbone, rattler gland, Good 'n' Quiet, rhinestone, Shielding Potion, runproof mascara, tin thermos of chai, virgin jello shot, Pneumo bar, one piece of bubble gum, magenta seashell, cyan seashell, gray seashell, green seashell, yellow seashell, candied almond, tiny handful of mixed nuts, piranha pollen
... 108 meat @ Tasty Fun Good rice candy, candy brain
... 110 meat @ orcish nailing lube, black eye shadow
... 118 meat @ frozen shampoo-conditioner
... 120 meat @ twinkly nuggets
... 124 meat @ moose thought, sticky lava globs
... 128 meat @ Squat-Thrust Magazine
... 130 meat @ orcish hand lotion
... 132 meat @ concoction of clumsiness
... 140 meat @ orcish rubber
... 150 meat @ adder bladder, gremlin juice
... 156 meat @ recording of Benetton's Medley of Diversity, recording of Prelude of Precision, recording of Donho's Bubbly Ballad, single of Donho's Bubbly Ballad, spooky sound effects record, coal dust, basaltamander tongue
... 158 meat @ pill cup
... 166 meat @ pec oil
... 170 meat @ Knob Goblin love potion, henna face paint, tube of dread wax, ant agonist
... 172 meat @ hair of the fish, pygmy phone number
... 176 meat @ hot coal
... 190 meat @ O'RLY manual, bag of pygmy blood, bloodstain stick
... 200 meat @ lesser grodulated violet, tin magnolia, upsy daisy, neurostim pill, physiostim pill, scroll of Puddingskin, funny bone
... 220 meat @ fabric hardener
... 222 meat @ colorful toad
... 224 meat @ super-spiky hair gel
... 230 meat @ Knob Goblin sharpening spray, mother's little helper
... 250 meat @ Knob Goblin steroids
... 256 meat @ probability potion
... 274 meat @ Angry Farmer candy
... 282 meat @ Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub
... 288 meat @ thin black candle
... 300 meat @ sparkler, snake, M-242
... 310 meat @ pygmy pygment
... 400 meat @ vial of hamethyst juice, sea grease
... 500 meat @ blood of the Wereseal, pressurized potion of proficiency
... 666 meat @ chocolate-covered caviar
... 800 meat @ flask of porquoise juice
... 1000 meat @ eel battery
... 20000 meat @ liquid ice
POTIONS (2)
... 100 meat @ decorative fountain
... 110 meat @ all-purpose cleaner
SPLEEN ITEM (28)
... 100 meat @ Mariner's Friend cough drops, watered-down Red Minotaur, moomy dust, prototype stimulant, kelp
... 120 meat @ ancient pills, furry pill, beefy pill, vitamin G pill
... 150 meat @ Knob Goblin nasal spray
... 180 meat @ twinkly wad, haunted battery
... 200 meat @ moxie weed, strongness elixir, magicalness-in-a-can, Knob Goblin eyedrops
... 250 meat @ enchanted barbell, concentrated magicalness pill, giant moxie weed, Knob Goblin pet-buffing spray
... 300 meat @ extra-strength strongness elixir, jug-o-magicalness, suntan lotion of moxiousness, Knob Goblin learning pill
... 500 meat @ handful of moss, bit-o-cactus, ancient protein powder
... 674 meat @ can of Red Minotaur
STICKER (4)
... 100 meat @ scratch 'n' sniff apple sticker, scratch 'n' sniff wrestler sticker, scratch 'n' sniff dragon sticker, scratch 'n' sniff rock band sticker
USABLE (106)
... 100 meat @ Newbiesport™ tent, Orcish meat locker, smart skull, gnoll lips, enchanted bean, loose teeth, bat guano, Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots, windchimes, volleyball, useless powder, Cherry Cloaca Cola, Diet Cloaca Cola, Regular Cloaca Cola, dance card, comfy coffin, plump juicy grub, delicious shimmering moth, tasty louse, cotton candy pinch, turtle wax, turtlemail bits, sugar shard, robot reindeer protocol P.R.A.N.C.E.R., robot reindeer protocol D.A.S.H.E.R., robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R., robot reindeer protocol D.A.N.C.E.R., robot reindeer protocol C.O.M.E.T., robot reindeer protocol R.U.D.O.L.P.H., generic healing potion, Trivial Avocations Card: What?, bugbear purification pill, Mark of the Bugbear, Mark of the Ghost, Mark of the Vampire, Dreadsylvanian Almanac page, unused walkie-talkie, gym membership card, dry cleaning receipt, Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#1), Steam Card: Space Trip (#1), Steam Card: Space Trip (#2), Steam Card: Space Trip (#3), Steam Card: Meteoid (#1), Steam Card: Meteoid (#2), Steam Card: Meteoid (#3), Steam Card: DemonStar (#1), Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#1), Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#2), Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#3), LCD game: Food Eater, LCD game: Garbage River, LCD game: Burger Belt, Source terminal file: substats.enh, Source terminal file: damage.enh, Source terminal file: critical.enh, Source terminal file: protect.enq, Source terminal file: stats.enq, Source terminal file: compress.edu, Source terminal file: duplicate.edu, Source terminal file: portscan.edu, Source terminal file: turbo.edu, Source terminal file: familiar.ext, Source terminal file: pram.ext, Source terminal file: gram.ext, Source terminal file: spam.ext, Source terminal file: dram.ext, Source terminal file: tram.ext, almost-dead walkie-talkie, golden gun, burnt stick
... 112 meat @ snailmail bits
... 120 meat @ rum barrel charrrm, bubblin' crude
... 150 meat @ Blatantly Canadian, disintegrating quill pen
... 160 meat @ pack of chewing gum
... 180 meat @ grumpy old man charrrm, tarrrnish charrrm
... 200 meat @ Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter II, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III, Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter IV, eldritch effluvium
... 214 meat @ tiny house
... 220 meat @ booty chest charrrm, cannonball charrrm, copper ha'penny charrrm, silver tongue charrrm
... 230 meat @ phonics down, honey-dipped locust
... 240 meat @ ketchup hound
... 248 meat @ giant jar of protein powder
... 272 meat @ awful poetry journal
... 282 meat @ Warm Subject gift certificate
... 300 meat @ elven medi-pack, elven magi-pack
... 310 meat @ drab sonata
... 500 meat @ Dramatic™ range, Mer-kin cookiestove
... 1000 meat @ Source terminal INGRAM chip, Source terminal DIAGRAM chip, Source terminal ASHRAM chip, Source terminal SCRAM chip, Source terminal TRIGRAM chip
... 5000 meat @ Really Expensive Jewelry and You

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