A COBOL programmer tries to use AJAX

COBOL-AJAX.js

// IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.
// PROGRAM_ID.    AJAX_EXAMPLE.
//*
// ENVIRONMENT DIVISION.
//*
// DATA DIVISION.
// WORKING_STORAGE SECTION.
   var AJAX     = null;
   var URL      = "EXAMPLE.TXT";
   var RESPONSE = "";
   var RETURN   = "";
//*
// PROCEDURE DIVISION.
// MAIN_LOGIC SECTION.
   function SEND_REQ()       {
       RESPONSE = "";
       RETURN   = "";
       AJAX     = $.get(URL);
   }
//*
   function HAS_RESP()       {
       RETURN = "NO";
       if(AJAX.readyState == XMLHttpRequest.DONE)
                             {
           RETURN = "YES";
       }
   }
//*
   function GET_RESP()       {
       HAS_RESP();
       if(RETURN == "YES")   {
           RESPONSE = AJAX.responseText;
       }
   }
//*
   function WAIT_FOR_RESP()  {
//*    WAIT FOR BETWEEN 5 AND 10 SECONDS
       setTimeout(CHECK_FOR_RESP,
                 (5000 + (Math.random() * 5000)));
   }
//*
   function CHECK_FOR_RESP() {
       HAS_RESP();
       if(RETURN == "YES")   {
           GET_RESP();
           DISPLAY_RESP();
       }else                 {
           WAIT_FOR_RESP();
       }
   }
//*
   function DISPLAY_RESP()   {
       alert(RESPONSE);
   }
//*
   SEND_REQ();
   WAIT_FOR_RESP();