Understanding Sensory Sensitivities Autistic people often experience the world more intensely. Sensory overload is common and can cause distress or shutdown.
Irritability in loud or chaotic environments.
Discomfort in heat, bright lights, or tight clothing.
Needing silence or alone time to recover.
Ask about specific triggers and be ready to adapt.
Create calm environments; reduce background noise and harsh lighting.
Don’t talk too much when overstimulation hits. Just be present or give space.
Respecting Autonomy and Space Autonomy is essential. She may feel trapped or overwhelmed by closeness, especially if she’s learning to honour her own boundaries after years of masking.
Pulling away during conversation or physical closeness.
Needing time alone even when things seem fine.
Strong reactions to surprise touch or crowded spaces.
Ask: “Would you prefer company or space right now?”
Avoid interpreting distance as rejection.
Let her initiate physical touch, especially if she’s expressed sensitivity.
Communicate Clearly and Kindly Autistic communication styles are often direct and literal. Social cues may not always match what you're used to.
Be literal and honest, not passive-aggressive or vague.
Don’t expect her to guess how you feel—say it.
Avoid sarcasm or indirectness unless she enjoys it.
Don’t Try to "Fix" Her Autistic people don’t need changing—they need environments that accommodate them.
Accept her needs without judgment.
Reduce the need for her to mask.
Work on your own emotional regulation and patience.
Books: Unmasking Autism by Devon Price; Neurodivergent Love by Dr. Catherine Crompton.
YouTube: Yo Samdy Sam, Purple Ella
Websites: autism.org.uk, autisticadvocacy.org
TL;DR: Be kind, ask instead of assuming, give space when needed, communicate clearly, and listen with intent. She’s not broken—just different.
For more resources: spicycentral.org/relationships