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Complexity always wins. Especially at 3am.
Your clever abstraction becomes your 3am nightmare. Hope you like recursive stack traces.
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Code you wrote 6 months ago was clearly the work of an idiot.
Unfortunately, that idiot was you.
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"Temporary" is the most permanent word in tech.
Any hack marked #TEMP_FIX will survive product rewrites and multiple rebrands.
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Every TODO is a time bomb.
Ticking gently. You won't defuse it. You'll inherit it.
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There is no such thing as "edge case" if your users are creative enough.
Which they are. Somehow.
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All software is haunted.
That bug? It only appears on the CEO's device. During demos. In Mercury retrograde.
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"Works on my machine" is not a valid QA strategy.
Unless your machine is the production cluster. Which it shouldn't be.
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Every framework is just another way to reinvent switch badly.
Now with more decorators.
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You either die a junior dev or live long enough to write linters.
Then complain when no one follows them.
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Every microservice eventually becomes a monolith.
Made of JSON and regret.
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Nobody reads documentation—unless it's wrong.
Then it becomes gospel, referenced in 12 Slack threads and 3 Jira tickets.
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CI/CD means "Can't Investigate, Can't Debug."
But hey, at least it failed fast!
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The first 80% of the project takes 80% of the time. The last 20% takes the other 80%.
It's not bad math. It's software.
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"Agile" means whatever justifies skipping testing.
"We're iterative!" Yes. Iteratively broken.
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Naming is hard. So is everything else.
But bad names last longer than good code.
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Your code isn't self-documenting. It's self-incriminating.
Comment, or prepare your defence.
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The best code is the code you never had to write.
Or better yet, someone else wrote and now maintains.
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If it compiles, ship it. If it runs, tag it. If it crashes, call it a beta.
Now you're DevRel-ready.
Bonus Rule
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Don't be the hero. Be the person who sleeps.
The team doesn't need martyrs. They need maintainers.