Gist Created in Script Kit

owofy.ts

function owofy(text: string, wanky: boolean = false) {
  function lastReplace(s: string, old: string, newVal: string): string {
    const i = s.lastIndexOf(old);
    if (i < 0) {
      return s;
    }
    const start = s.substring(0, i);
    const end = s.substring(i + old.length);
    return start + newVal + end;
  }
  function textToOwo(textstr: string): string {
    const exclamations = ["?", "!", ".", "*"];
    const prefixes = [
      "Haii UwU ",
      "Hiiiiii 0w0 ",
      "Hewoooooo >w< ",
      "*W* ",
      "mmm~ uwu ",
      "Oh... Hi there " + (Math.random() < 0.5 ? "·///·" : "(。O⁄ ⁄ω⁄ ⁄ O。)"),
    ];
    const subs: Record<string, string> = {
      why: "wai",
      Why: "Wai",
      Hey: "Hai",
      hey: "hai",
      ahw: "ao",
      Hi: "Hai",
      hi: "hai",
      you: "u",
      L: "W",
      l: "w",
      R: "W",
      r: "w",
    };
    textstr = prefixes[Math.floor(Math.random() * prefixes.length)] + textstr;
    if (!exclamations.some((e) => textstr.endsWith(e))) {
      textstr += " uwu";
    }
    const smileys = [";;w;;", "^w^", ">w<", "UwU", "(・`ω´・)"];
    if (!wanky) {
      textstr = textstr.replace("Rank", "Ⓡank").replace("rank", "Ⓡank");
      textstr = textstr.replace("Lank", "⒧ank").replace("lank", "⒧ank");
    }
    textstr = lastReplace(textstr, "there!", "there! *pounces on u*");
    for (const key in subs) {
      if (subs.hasOwnProperty(key)) {
        textstr = textstr.replace(key, subs[key]);
      }
    }
    textstr = lastReplace(
      textstr,
      "!",
      "! " + smileys[Math.floor(Math.random() * smileys.length)]
    );
    textstr = lastReplace(
      textstr,
      "?",
      "? " + (Math.random() < 0.5 ? "owo" : "O·w·O")
    );
    textstr = lastReplace(
      textstr,
      ".",
      ". " + smileys[Math.floor(Math.random() * smileys.length)]
    );
    const vowels = ["a", "e", "i", "o", "u", "A", "E", "I", "O", "U"];
    if (!wanky) {
      textstr = textstr.replace("Ⓡank", "rank").replace("⒧ank", "lank");
    }
    for (const v of vowels) {
      if (textstr.includes(`n${v}`)) {
        textstr = textstr.replace(`n${v}`, `ny${v}`);
      }
      if (textstr.includes(`N${v}`)) {
        textstr = textstr.replace(
          `N${v}`,
          `N${/[A-Z\W]/.test(v) ? "Y" : "y"}${v}`
        );
      }
    }
    return textstr;
  }

  return textToOwo(text);
}