Extra large text

Clippy.txt

var clippy={};clippy.Agent=function(a,b,c){this.path=a,this._queue=new clippy.Queue($.proxy(this._onQueueEmpty,this)),this._el=$('<div class="clippy"></div>').hide(),$(document.body).append(this._el),this._animator=new clippy.Animator(this._el,a,b,c),this._balloon=new clippy.Balloon(this._el),this._setupEvents()},clippy.Agent.prototype={gestureAt:function(a,b){var c=this._getDirection(a,b),d="Gesture"+c,e="Look"+c,f=this.hasAnimation(d)?d:e;return this.play(f)},hide:function(a,b){this._hidden=!0;var c=this._el;this.stop();if(a){this._el.hide(),this.stop(),this.pause(),b&&b();return}return this._playInternal("Hide",function(){c.hide(),this.pause(),b&&b()})},moveTo:function(a,b,c){var d=this._getDirection(a,b),e="Move"+d;c===undefined&&(c=1e3),this._addToQueue(function(d){if(c===0){this._el.css({top:b,left:a}),this.reposition(),d();return}if(!this.hasAnimation(e)){this._el.animate({top:b,left:a},c,d);return}var f=$.proxy(function(e,f){f===clippy.Animator.States.EXITED&&d(),f===clippy.Animator.States.WAITING&&this._el.animate({top:b,left:a},c,$.proxy(function(){this._animator.exitAnimation()},this))},this);this._playInternal(e,f)},this)},_playInternal:function(a,b){this._isIdleAnimation()&&this._idleDfd&&this._idleDfd.state()==="pending"&&this._idleDfd.done($.proxy(function(){this._playInternal(a,b)},this)),this._animator.showAnimation(a,b)},play:function(a,b,c){return this.hasAnimation(a)?(b===undefined&&(b=5e3),this._addToQueue(function(d){var e=!1,f=function(a,b){b===clippy.Animator.States.EXITED&&(e=!0,c&&c(),d())};b&&window.setTimeout($.proxy(function(){if(e)return;this._animator.exitAnimation()},this),b),this._playInternal(a,f)},this),!0):!1},show:function(a){this._hidden=!1;if(a){this._el.show(),this.resume(),this._onQueueEmpty();return}if(this._el.css("top")==="auto"||!this._el.css("left")==="auto"){var b=$(window).width()*.8,c=($(window).height()+$(document).scrollTop())*.8;this._el.css({top:c,left:b})}return this.resume(),this.play("Show")},speak:function(a,b){this._addToQueue(function(c){this._balloon.speak(c,a,b)},this)},closeBalloon:function(){this._balloon.hide()},delay:function(a){a=a||250,this._addToQueue(function(b){this._onQueueEmpty(),window.setTimeout(b,a)})},stopCurrent:function(){this._animator.exitAnimation(),this._balloon.close()},stop:function(){this._queue.clear(),this._animator.exitAnimation(),this._balloon.hide()},hasAnimation:function(a){return this._animator.hasAnimation(a)},animations:function(){return this._animator.animations()},animate:function(){var a=this.animations(),b=a[Math.floor(Math.random()*a.length)];return b.indexOf("Idle")===0?this.animate():this.play(b)},_getDirection:function(a,b){var c=this._el.offset(),d=this._el.height(),e=this._el.width(),f=c.left+e/2,g=c.top+d/2,h=g-b,i=f-a,j=Math.round(180*Math.atan2(h,i)/Math.PI);return-45<=j&&j<45?"Right":45<=j&&j<135?"Up":135<=j&&j<=180||-180<=j&&j<-135?"Left":-135<=j&&j<-45?"Down":"Top"},_onQueueEmpty:function(){if(this._hidden||this._isIdleAnimation())return;var a=this._getIdleAnimation();this._idleDfd=$.Deferred(),this._animator.showAnimation(a,$.proxy(this._onIdleComplete,this))},_onIdleComplete:function(a,b){b===clippy.Animator.States.EXITED&&this._idleDfd.resolve()},_isIdleAnimation:function(){var a=this._animator.currentAnimationName;return a&&a.indexOf("Idle")===0},_getIdleAnimation:function(){var a=this.animations(),b=[];for(var c=0;c<a.length;c++){var d=a[c];d.indexOf("Idle")===0&&b.push(d)}var e=Math.floor(Math.random()*b.length);return b[e]},_setupEvents:function(){$(window).on("resize",$.proxy(this.reposition,this)),this._el.on("mousedown",$.proxy(this._onMouseDown,this)),this._el.on("dblclick",$.proxy(this._onDoubleClick,this))},_onDoubleClick:function(){this.play("ClickedOn")||this.animate()},reposition:function(){if(!this._el.is(":visible"))return;var a=this._el.offset(),b=this._el.outerHeight(),c=this._el.outerWidth(),d=$(window).width(),e=$(window).height(),f=$(window).scrollTop(),g=$(window).scrollLeft(),h=a.top-f,i=a.left-g,j=5;h-j<0?h=j:h+b+j>e&&(h=e-b-j),i-j<0?i=j:i+c+j>d&&(i=d-c-j),this._el.css({left:i,top:h}),this._balloon.reposition()},_onMouseDown:function(a){a.preventDefault(),this._startDrag(a)},_startDrag:function(a){this.pause(),this._balloon.hide(!0),this._offset=this._calculateClickOffset(a),this._moveHandle=$.proxy(this._dragMove,this),this._upHandle=$.proxy(this._finishDrag,this),$(window).on("mousemove",this._moveHandle),$(window).on("mouseup",this._upHandle),this._dragUpdateLoop=window.setTimeout($.proxy(this._updateLocation,this),10)},_calculateClickOffset:function(a){var b=a.pageX,c=a.pageY,d=this._el.offset();return{top:c-d.top,left:b-d.left}},_updateLocation:function(){this._el.css({top:this._targetY,left:this._taregtX}),this._dragUpdateLoop=window.setTimeout($.proxy(this._updateLocation,this),10)},_dragMove:function(a){a.preventDefault();var b=a.clientX-this._offset.left,c=a.clientY-this._offset.top;this._taregtX=b,this._targetY=c},_finishDrag:function(){window.clearTimeout(this._dragUpdateLoop),$(window).off("mousemove",this._moveHandle),$(window).off("mouseup",this._upHandle),this._balloon.show(),this.reposition(),this.resume()},_addToQueue:function(a,b){b&&(a=$.proxy(a,b)),this._queue.queue(a)},pause:function(){this._animator.pause(),this._balloon.pause()},resume:function(){this._animator.resume(),this._balloon.resume()}},clippy.Animator=function(a,b,c,d){this._el=a,this._data=c,this._path=b,this._currentFrameIndex=0,this._currentFrame=undefined,this._exiting=!1,this._currentAnimation=undefined,this._endCallback=undefined,this._started=!1,this._sounds={},this.currentAnimationName=undefined,this.preloadSounds(d),this._overlays=[this._el];var e=this._el;this._setupElement(this._el);for(var f=1;f<this._data.overlayCount;f++){var g=this._setupElement($("<div></div>"));e.append(g),this._overlays.push(g),e=g}},clippy.Animator.prototype={_setupElement:function(a){var b=this._data.framesize;return a.css("display","none"),a.css({width:b[0],height:b[1]}),a.css("background","url('"+this._path+"/map.png') no-repeat"),a},animations:function(){var a=[],b=this._data.animations;for(var c in b)a.push(c);return a},preloadSounds:function(a){for(var b=0;b<this._data.sounds.length;b++){var c=this._data.sounds[b],d=a[c];if(!d)continue;this._sounds[c]=new Audio(d)}},hasAnimation:function(a){return!!this._data.animations[a]},exitAnimation:function(){this._exiting=!0},showAnimation:function(a,b){return this._exiting=!1,this.hasAnimation(a)?(this._currentAnimation=this._data.animations[a],this.currentAnimationName=a,this._started||(this._step(),this._started=!0),this._currentFrameIndex=0,this._currentFrame=undefined,this._endCallback=b,!0):!1},_draw:function(){var a=[];this._currentFrame&&(a=this._currentFrame.images||[]);for(var b=0;b<this._overlays.length;b++)if(b<a.length){var c=a[b],d=-c[0]+"px "+ -c[1]+"px";this._overlays[b].css({"background-position":d,display:"block"})}else this._overlays[b].css("display","none")},_getNextAnimationFrame:function(){if(!this._currentAnimation)return undefined;if(!this._currentFrame)return 0;var a=this._currentFrame,b=this._currentFrame.branching;if(this._exiting&&a.exitBranch!==undefined)return a.exitBranch;if(b){var c=Math.random()*100;for(var d=0;d<b.branches.length;d++){var e=b.branches[d];if(c<=e.weight)return e.frameIndex;c-=e.weight}}return this._currentFrameIndex+1},_playSound:function(){var a=this._currentFrame.sound;if(!a)return;var b=this._sounds[a];b&&b.play()},_atLastFrame:function(){return this._currentFrameIndex>=this._currentAnimation.frames.length-1},_step:function(){if(!this._currentAnimation)return;var a=Math.min(this._getNextAnimationFrame(),this._currentAnimation.frames.length-1),b=!this._currentFrame||this._currentFrameIndex!==a;this._currentFrameIndex=a;if(!this._atLastFrame()||!this._currentAnimation.useExitBranching)this._currentFrame=this._currentAnimation.frames[this._currentFrameIndex];this._draw(),this._playSound(),this._loop=window.setTimeout($.proxy(this._step,this),this._currentFrame.duration),this._endCallback&&b&&this._atLastFrame()&&(this._currentAnimation.useExitBranching&&!this._exiting?this._endCallback(this.currentAnimationName,clippy.Animator.States.WAITING):this._endCallback(this.currentAnimationName,clippy.Animator.States.EXITED))},pause:function(){window.clearTimeout(this._loop)},resume:function(){this._step()}},clippy.Animator.States={WAITING:1,EXITED:0},clippy.Balloon=function(a){this._targetEl=a,this._hidden=!0,this._setup()},clippy.Balloon.prototype={WORD_SPEAK_TIME:200,CLOSE_BALLOON_DELAY:2e3,_setup:function(){this._balloon=$('<div class="clippy-balloon"><div class="clippy-tip"></div><div class="clippy-content"></div></div> ').hide(),this._content=this._balloon.find(".clippy-content"),$(document.body).append(this._balloon)},reposition:function(){var a=["top-left","top-right","bottom-left","bottom-right"];for(var b=0;b<a.length;b++){var c=a[b];this._position(c);if(!this._isOut())break}},_BALLOON_MARGIN:15,_position:function(a){var b=this._targetEl.offset(),c=this._targetEl.height(),d=this._targetEl.width(),e=this._balloon.outerHeight(),f=this._balloon.outerWidth();this._balloon.removeClass("clippy-top-left"),this._balloon.removeClass("clippy-top-right"),this._balloon.removeClass("clippy-bottom-right"),this._balloon.removeClass("clippy-bottom-left");var g,h;switch(a){case"top-left":g=b.left+d-f,h=b.top-e-this._BALLOON_MARGIN;break;case"top-right":g=b.left,h=b.top-e-this._BALLOON_MARGIN;break;case"bottom-right":g=b.left,h=b.top+c+this._BALLOON_MARGIN;break;case"bottom-left":g=b.left+d-f,h=b.top+c+this._BALLOON_MARGIN}this._balloon.css({top:h,left:g}),this._balloon.addClass("clippy-"+a)},_isOut:function(){var a=this._balloon.offset(),b=this._balloon.outerHeight(),c=this._balloon.outerWidth(),d=$(window).width(),e=$(window).height(),f=$(document).scrollTop(),g=$(document).scrollLeft(),h=a.top-f,i=a.left-g,j=5;return h-j<0||i-j<0?!0:h+b+j>e||i+c+j>d?!0:!1},speak:function(a,b,c){this._hidden=!1,this.show();var d=this._content;d.height("auto"),d.width("auto"),d.text(b),d.height(d.height()),d.width(d.width()),d.text(""),this.reposition(),this._complete=a,this._sayWords(b,c,a)},show:function(){if(this._hidden)return;this._balloon.show()},hide:function(a){if(a){this._balloon.hide();return}this._hiding=window.setTimeout($.proxy(this._finishHideBalloon,this),this.CLOSE_BALLOON_DELAY)},_finishHideBalloon:function(){if(this._active)return;this._balloon.hide(),this._hidden=!0,this._hiding=null},_sayWords:function(a,b,c){this._active=!0,this._hold=b;var d=a.split(/[^\S-]/),e=this.WORD_SPEAK_TIME,f=this._content,g=1;this._addWord=$.proxy(function(){if(!this._active)return;g>d.length?(this._active=!1,this._hold||(c(),this.hide())):(f.text(d.slice(0,g).join(" ")),g++,this._loop=window.setTimeout($.proxy(this._addWord,this),e))},this),this._addWord()},close:function(){this._active?this._hold=!1:this._hold&&this._complete()},pause:function(){window.clearTimeout(this._loop),this._hiding&&(window.clearTimeout(this._hiding),this._hiding=null)},resume:function(){this._addWord&&this._addWord(),this._hiding=window.setTimeout($.proxy(this._finishHideBalloon,this),this.CLOSE_BALLOON_DELAY)}},clippy.BASE_PATH="//s3.amazonaws.com/clippy.js/Agents/",clippy.load=function(a,b,c){var d=clippy.BASE_PATH+a,e=clippy.load._loadMap(d),f=clippy.load._loadAgent(a,d),g=clippy.load._loadSounds(a,d),h;f.done(function(a){h=a});var i;g.done(function(a){i=a});var j=function(){var a=new clippy.Agent(d,h,i);b(a)};$.when(e,f,g).done(j).fail(c)},clippy.load._maps={},clippy.load._loadMap=function(a){var b=clippy.load._maps[a];if(b)return b;b=clippy.load._maps[a]=$.Deferred();var c=a+"/map.png",d=new Image;return d.onload=b.resolve,d.onerror=b.reject,d.setAttribute("src",c),b.promise()},clippy.load._sounds={},clippy.load._loadSounds=function(a,b){var c=clippy.load._sounds[a];if(c)return c;c=clippy.load._sounds[a]=$.Deferred();var d=document.createElement("audio"),e=!!d.canPlayType&&""!=d.canPlayType("audio/mpeg"),f=!!d.canPlayType&&""!=d.canPlayType('audio/ogg; codecs="vorbis"');if(!e&&!f)c.resolve({});else{var g=b+(e?"/sounds-mp3.js":"/sounds-ogg.js");clippy.load._loadScript(g)}return c.promise()},clippy.load._data={},clippy.load._loadAgent=function(a,b){var c=clippy.load._data[a];if(c)return c;c=clippy.load._getAgentDfd(a);var d=b+"/agent.js";return clippy.load._loadScript(d),c.promise()},clippy.load._loadScript=function(a){var b=document.createElement("script");b.setAttribute("src",a),b.setAttribute("async","async"),b.setAttribute("type","text/javascript"),document.head.appendChild(b)},clippy.load._getAgentDfd=function(a){var b=clippy.load._data[a];return b||(b=clippy.load._data[a]=$.Deferred()),b},clippy.ready=function(a,b){var c=clippy.load._getAgentDfd(a);c.resolve(b)},clippy.soundsReady=function(a,b){var c=clippy.load._sounds[a];c||(c=clippy.load._sounds[a]=$.Deferred()),c.resolve(b)},clippy.Queue=function(a){this._queue=[],this._onEmptyCallback=a},clippy.Queue.prototype={queue:function(a){this._queue.push(a),this._queue.length===1&&!this._active&&this._progressQueue()},_progressQueue:function(){if(!this._queue.length){this._onEmptyCallback();return}var a=this._queue.shift();this._active=!0;var b=$.proxy(this.next,this);a(b)},clear:function(){this._queue=[]},next:function(){this._active=!1,this._progressQueue()}};clippy.load('Clippy', function(agent){var css = document.createElement("style");css.type = "text/css";css.innerHTML = ".clippy,.clippy-balloon{position:fixed;z-index:1000;cursor:pointer}.clippy-balloon{background:#FFC;color:#000;padding:8px;border:1px solid #000;border-radius:5px}.clippy-content{max-width:200px;min-width:120px;font-family:\"Microsoft Sans\",sans-serif;font-size:10pt}.clippy-tip{width:10px;height:16px;background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAABQAAAAgCAMAAAAlvKiEAAAAGXRFWHRTb2Z0d2FyZQBBZG9iZSBJbWFnZVJlYWR5ccllPAAAAAlQTFRF///MAAAA////52QwgAAAAAN0Uk5T//8A18oNQQAAAGxJREFUeNqs0kEOwCAIRFHn3//QTUU6xMyyxii+jQosrTPkyPEM6IN3FtzIRk1U4dFeKWQiH6pRRowMVKEmvronEynkwj0uZJgR22+YLopPSo9P34wJSamLSU7lSIWLJU7NkNomNlhqxUeAAQC+TQLZyEuJBwAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==) no-repeat;position:absolute}.clippy-top-left .clippy-tip{top:100%;margin-top:0;left:100%;margin-left:-50px}.clippy-top-right .clippy-tip{top:100%;margin-top:0;left:0;margin-left:50px;background-position:-10px 0}.clippy-bottom-right .clippy-tip{top:0;margin-top:-16px;left:0;margin-left:50px;background-position:-10px -16px}.clippy-bottom-left .clippy-tip{top:0;margin-top:-16px;left:100%;margin-left:-50px;background-position:0 -16px}";document.body.appendChild(css);clippy.a=agent;clippy.a.show();clippy.a.moveTo(100,100,1000);clippy.a.gestureAt(200,200);});

Sick!

Paste on webpage with "JavaScript:" ...massive JD txt.... To inject clippy into browser address bar

Lean doco kthxbai