for when you're really screwed

acme_php_upgrade_dummies.md

ACME PHP Upgrade Dummies

for when you have old, bad php code that you need to move forward in versions / migrate

dummy_Memcache.php

<?php
// the really old obscure one that only works on php5.6 on Windows and not on linux anymore
class Memcache {
	private $keys = [];

	public function addServer($server, $port){
		// that's nice dear
	}

	public function set($key, $value, $some_flag_i_dont_care_about, $expire){
		$this->keys[$key] = $value;
	}

	public function get($key){
		return $this->keys[$key] ?? null;
	}
}

dummy_old_mysql_mysqli_prepare.php

<?php
// replace old code using 'call_user_func_array' using 'bind_param' on an instance
// y'know, the kind that uses an array that leads with the type name?
// no? kids these days...

function preparedQuery($sql,$params) {
	for ($i=0; $i<count($params); $i++) {
		$sql = preg_replace('/\?/','"'.$params[$i].'"',$sql,1);
	}
	return $sql;
}

/*
  $stmt = $mysqli->stmt_init();
  $query = preparedQuery($sql_query, $binds);
  $stmt->prepare($query);
*/

// original code stripped from the bowels of php.net

dummy_register_globals.php

<?php
// if you are unfortunate enough to be in a database w/ register globals on, rip u
foreach (array_merge($_GET, $_POST, $_COOKIE) as $key => $val) {
	global $$key;
	$$key = (get_magic_quotes_gpc()) ? $val : addslashes($val);
}

remove_short_open_tags.md

find

<\?( )*(?!php)(?!=)(?!xml)(?!mso)

replace

<?php 

notes

• trailing space in the replace
• original answer from stackoverflow
• set your file mask to *.php,*.html because a lot of javascript things will match this pattern
• some php PDF libs will match this pattern as well