A Markov SelfBot for Discord.

markord.js

const discord = require('discord.js');
const fs = require('fs');
const path = require('path');
const client = new discord.Client();
global.triggerWord = 'Beep boop, boop boop beep???'
const readline = require(`readline`)
if (!process.argv[2]) {
  console.log(`Usage: node client.js <token>`)
  process.exit(-69)
}
const token = process.argv[2];
const logger = {
  __print (prefix, data) {
    console.log(data)
  },
  log (...word) {
    word = word.join(' ')
    logger.__print(`[INFO]`, word)
  },
  warn (...word) {
    word = word.join(' ')
    logger.__print(`[WARN]`, word)
  },
  err (...word) {
    word = word.join(' ')
    logger.__print(`[ERR ]`, word)
  }
}

global.recordWords = true;

var titles = [];
if (fs.existsSync(path.join(__dirname, 'words.json'))) {
  titles = require("./words");
}

global.writeWords = function() {
  var wordtyWords = JSON.stringify(titles);
  fs.writeFileSync(path.join(__dirname, 'words.json'), wordtyWords);
}

global.shutdown = function() {
  writeWords();
  client.destroy().then(() => {
    logger.log(`Goodbye!`)
    process.exit(0);
  })
}

var terminals = {};
var startwords = [];
var wordstats = {};

var make_title = function (min_length) {
  var choice = function (a) {
    var i = Math.floor(a.length * Math.random());
    return a[i];
  };
  word = choice(startwords);
  var title = [word];
  while (wordstats.hasOwnProperty(word)) {
      var next_words = wordstats[word];
      word = choice(next_words);
      title.push(word);
      if (title.length > min_length && terminals.hasOwnProperty(word)) break;
  }
  if (title.length < min_length) return make_title(min_length);
  return title.join(' ');
};

const handleSpeak = message => {
  // we are no getin hakd m8
  if (titles.length <= 15) {
    message.react('❌')
    return;
  }
  message.edit(make_title(5 + Math.floor(3 * Math.random())));
}

const insertWordIntoWords = message => {
  if (recordWords) {
    var sentence = message.content
    logger.log(`[${titles.length+1}] [${message.guild.name}] (#${message.channel.name}) <${message.author.username}>: ${sentence}`)
    var words = sentence.split(' ');
    terminals[words[words.length-1]] = true;
    startwords.push(words[0]);
    for (var j = 0; j < words.length - 1; j++) {
        if (wordstats.hasOwnProperty(words[j])) {
            wordstats[words[j]].push(words[j+1]);
        } else {
            wordstats[words[j]] = [words[j+1]];
        }
    }
    titles.push(sentence);
  }
}

logger.log('Logging into Discord...')
client.login(token).then(() => {
  logger.log(`Done! Please wait a few minutes, then type \`${triggerWord}\``)
  client.on('message', message => {
    if (message.cleanContent === triggerWord && message.author.id === client.user.id) {
      return handleSpeak(message);
    }
    if (message.author.id === client.user.id) return;
    if (message.author.bot) return;
    if (1 >= message.cleanContent) return;
    insertWordIntoWords(message);
  })
  readline.createInterface({input: process.stdin, output: process.stdout}).on('line', i => {
    try {
      var output = eval(i)
      output instanceof Promise
        ? output.then(a => {
          console.log('Promise Resolved')
          console.log(util.inspect(a, {depth: 0}))
        }).catch(e => {
          console.log('Promise Rejected')
          console.log(e.stack)
        })
        : output instanceof Object
          ? console.log(util.inspect(output, {depth: 0}))
          : console.log(output)
    } catch (err) {
      console.log(err.stack)
    }
  })
}).catch(logger.err)