very impertant

derper.lua

local derpdictionary = {
	["garry"] = {"gaery newbmen", "gery"},
	["gmod"] = {"jbmod", "gaymod"},
	["about"] = {"abt", "abot"},
	["above"] = {"aboev"},
	["accept"] = {"acept"},
	["actually"] = {"accualy", "acuali", "accually"},
	["addicted"] = {"adikted"},
	["addict"] = {"adikt"},
	["after"] = {"aftr"},
	["again"] = {"egen", "agen"},
	["all"] = {"al"},
	["allergic"] = {"allergicc"},
	["america"] = {"amerika"},
	["anal"] = {"anl"},
	["and"] = {"nd", "n"},
	["anger"] = {"angr", "angrey"},
	["animal"] = {"animel"},
	["anniversary"] = {"anibersary"},
	["anus"] = {"anis"},
	["april"] = {"aprel"},
	["are"] = {"r", "ar"},
	["ashley"] = {"sexai bish"},
	["avengers"] = {"avengars"},
	["awesome"] = {"awsum"},
	["bacon"] = {"bacons"},
	["bail"] = {"belz"},
	["bastard"] = {"besterd"},
	["bat"] = {"btat"},
	["batman"] = {"btmn"},
	["beautiful"] = {"baetuiful"},
	["because"] = {"cuz", "bcuz", "bcus"},
	["bed"] = {"bedd"},
	["beer"] = {"bier"},
	["before"] = {"befo", "bfur", "befur", "bfare", "bfor"},
	["better"] = {"beter", "beder"},
	["better"] = {"bitters"},
	["birth"] = {"birt", "brth"},
	["birthday"] = {"byrthdayz", "burfdy", "birfday"},
	["bitch"] = {"betch"},
	["block"] = {"blok"},
	["blocked"] = {"blokd"},
	["black"] = {"bleck", "blaek"},
	["blood"] = {"blud"},
	["blow"] = {"blw"},
	["bobman"] = {"bbmen"},
	["boobs"] = {"bewbz"},
	["boys"] = {"bois"},
	["brain"] = {"brean"},
	["brick"] = {"brik"},
	["bro"] = {"bor"},
	["broken"] = {"boerkn"},
	["brother"] = {"brotr", "brthr"},
	["bucks"] = {"bukz"},
	["builder"] = {"buildr", "bulder"},
	["bumholes"] = {"bumholez"},
	["business"] = {"businss", "biznus"},
	["busy"] = {"busi"},
	["buttsex"] = {"bhutt secks"},
	["cake"] = {"kake"},
	["can"] = {"caen"},
	["cancer"] = {"cansor", "cansur"},
	["candle"] = {"cnadl", "candel"},
	["cant"] = {"ctan"},
	["can't"] = {"ca'nt", "cant", "ctan"},
	["care"] = {"caret"},
	["carrot"] = {"karot"},
	["cash"] = {"kash"},
	["cat"] = {"kat"},
	["cause"] = {"cuz"},
	["center"] = {"centar"},
	["change"] = {"chanj"},
	["checkup"] = {"chekup"},
	["chicken"] = {"chikn"},
	["chill pill"] = {"chilpil"},
	["chill pills"] = {"chilpils"},
	["chocolade"] = {"chocolat"},
	["chrome"] = {"cohrme"},
	["chuck"] = {"chak"},
	["cigarette"] = {"cigrete"},
	["clown"] = {"clauwn"},
	["come on"] = {"cum on"},
	["come"] = {"coem"},
	["conspiracy"] = {"cnspaercy"},
	["contex"] = {"cntex"},
	["cooking"] = {"cuking"},
	["copyright"] = {"copyrites"},
	["couch"] = {"cuch"},
	["could"] = {"cud"},
	["crash"] = {"crehs"},
	["created"] = {"crated"},
	["crying"] = {"criyin"},
	["cupcake"] = {"cupcaek"},
	["cupcakes"] = {"cupcaeks"},
	["cute"] = {"cuet"},
	["dammit"] = {"demmit"},
	["damn"] = {"dayum", "demn"},
	["date"] = {"dayte", "dait"},
	["dead"] = {"ded"},
	["delicious"] = {"dlishus"},
	["die"] = {"dei", "dy"},
	["dinner"] = {"dinnr", "dner"},
	["disney"] = {"dosni"},
	["divide"] = {"deviding"},
	["do"] = {"dew", "do"},
	["doctor"] = {"docte"},
	["doesn't"] = {"dsnt"},
	["dollar"] = {"dolar"},
	["dollars"] = {"dolars"},
	["don't know"] = {"dunno"},
	["don't"] = {"dunt", "doent", "dnot"},
	["donald"] = {"dolan"},
	["double"] = {"duble"},
	["dream"] = {"drem"},
	["drinking"] = {"drinkig"},
	["drunk"] = {"dronk"},
	["egg"] = {"eg"},
	["eggs"] = {"egs"},
	["eleven"] = {"elven"},
	["enjoy"] = {"enjoi", "njoi"},
	["entire"] = {"entrire"},
	["ever"] = {"evur", "evir"},
	["every time"] = {"evrytim"},
	["everyone"] = {"evryon"},
	["every thing"] = {"evryting", "everiting", "everyting"},
	["everything"] = {"evryting", "everiting", "everyting"},
	["everytime"] = {"evrytim"},
	["examination"] = {"examnashun"},
	["evil"] = {"evul", "evel"},
	["exist"] = {"exeest"},
	["eyeballs"] = {"eyebals"},
	["eyes"] = {"eeys"},
	["faggot"] = {"feget", "faggat", "fgt"},
	["famous"] = {"famus"},
	["finally"] = {"finully"},
	["finger"] = {"fingor"},
	["fire"] = {"fier"},
	["floor"] = {"flour", "flur"},
	["flower"] = {"flowa"},
	["fools"] = {"fules"},
	["for"] = {"fer", "fur", "four", "4"},
	["forgot"] = {"frogot"},
	["friend"] = {"frend", "flend"},
	["from"] = {"frem"},
	["fuck"] = {"fak", "faq", "fk", "fek", "feq", "fuk", "fck"},
	["fucking"] = {"fakn", "fakin", "fukin", "fukn"},
	["funny"] = {"funey", "fany", "funnay"},
	["game"] = {"gaem", "gaym"},
	["garden"] = {"gurden"},
	["gasoline"] = {"gaseline"},
	["gay"] = {"gya"},
	["gee"] = {"g"},
	["gentlemen"] = {"gntelmen"},
	["get"] = {"git", "get"},
	["girlfriend"] = {"grilfrend"},
	["glory"] = {"glroy"},
	["god"] = {"gawd"},
	["godbrother"] = {"gdbrthr"},
	["golf"] = {"gorf"},
	["going to"] = {"gunna", "gona"},
	["gonna"] = {"gunna", "gona"},
	["good"] = {"gud"},
	["goofy"] = {"gooby"},
	["got"] = {"gawt"},
	["guess"] = {"gess"},
	["guy"] = {"gui", "guy"},
	["guys"] = {"guise"},
	["hand"] = {"hamd"},
	["happened"] = {"hapnd"},
	["happening"] = {"hapenin"},
	["happiest"] = {"hapiest"},
	["happy"] = {"hapy", "hapy"},
	["hate"] = {"haet"},
	["hating"] = {"heatin"},
	["have"] = {"has", "haz", "haev", "heiv", "hav"},
	["haven't"] = {"havn"},
	["he"] = {"hi"},
	["heart"] = {"hert"},
	["hello"] = {"hlelo"},
	["help"] = {"halp"},
	["here"] = {"heer", "hur"},
	["high"] = {"hi"},
	["hijack"] = {"hijak"},
	["hipster"] = {"hpistr"},
	["how"] = {"how", "hw"},
	["i"] = {"ei", "i", "ai"},
	["i'm"] = {"im"},
	["i am"] = {"im"},
	["idea"] = {"idia"},
	["idgaf"] = {"igaf"},
	["idiot"] = {"idoit", "edeot", "ideot"},
	["idk"] = {"kdi"},
	["in a car"] = {"incar"},
	["in"] = {"n"},
	["inception"] = {"inceptyon"},
	["is"] = {"es", "iz"},
	["islam"] = {"izlam"},
	["it"] = {"et"},
	["jesus"] = {"jizzus", "jzuz"},
	["jewelry"] = {"jewlry"},
	["juice"] = {"jewce"},
	["juicy"] = {"joocy"},
	["just"] = {"juts"},
	["karagon"] = {"karafap", "kragon"},
	["keep"] = {"keip", "kepe"},
	["kids"] = {"keds"},
	["kill"] = {"kel", "kil"},
	["kingdom"] = {"kendum"},
	["knwo"] = {"kno"},
	["later"] = {"laytor"},
	["let's"] = {"lest", "les", "lez"},
	["life"] = {"lif", "liyfe", "lyfe"},
	["like"] = {"leik", "lyk", "lik", "liek"},
	["linkin park"] = {"link park"},
	["lisa"] = {"lis"},
	["live"] = {"liv"},
	["lol"] = {"lul"},
	["long"] = {"lnog"},
	["look"] = {"luk", "lok"},
	["looks"] = {"loks", "luks"},
	["lost"] = {"losd"},
	["love"] = {"luv"},
	["make"] = {"maek", "mak"},
	["married"] = {"marreyd"},
	["masterbate"] = {"fap"},
	["matter"] = {"maddr"},
	["may"] = {"mey"},
	["mcdonalds"] = {"mcdolanz"},
	["me"] = {"meh"},
	["meanwhile"] = {"maenwihle"},
	["medicine"] = {"medsin"},
	["metal"] = {"mteal"},
	["mexican"] = {"border jumper"},
	["minecraft"] = {"minkreft"},
	["minute"] = {"minit", "minut"},
	["modern"] = {"modurn"},
	["modernest"] = {"modurnest"},
	["moment"] = {"momunt"},
	["mona"] = {"muna"},
	["mister"] = {"mistur"},
	["monster"] = {"menstr"},
	["monthly"] = {"monfly"},
	["moralfag"] = {"morelfeg", "mrlfeg"},
	["more"] = {"mor", "moar"},
	["motherfucker"] = {"motrfukr", "motrfuker", "motrfakr", "motrfaker", "mtherfukr", "mtherfuker", "mtherfakr", "mtherfaker"},
	["mr"] = {"mistur"},
	["muscles"] = {"msucels"},
	["muslim"] = {"mozlem"},
	["must"] = {"mus"},
	["my"] = {"mai", "mi", "mah"},
	["nature"] = {"nateur"},
	["nazi"] = {"natzi"},
	["need"] = {"nede", "ned"},
	["never"] = {"neer"},
	["new"] = {"nue "},
	["next"] = {"nex"},
	["nice"] = {"niec"},
	["nigger"] = {"nigur", "niger"},
	["niggers"] = {"nigurs", "nigers", "nigges"},
	["not"] = {"not", "no"},
	["nothing"] = {"nuthng"},
	["now"] = {"nao", "naw", "naow", "nw"},
	["number"] = {"nmber"},
	["obama"] = {"negropres", "obama"},
	["of"] = {"of", "uv", "ef"},
	["ok"] = {"k"},
	["okay"] = {"k"},
	["other"] = {"ohtr"},
	["outside"] = {"outsed"},
	["page"] = {"paeg"},
	["party"] = {"paryt"},
	["pass"] = {"pas"},
	["peanuts"] = {"peenutz"},
	["people"] = {"ppl"},
	["pick"] = {"pik"},
	["picture"] = {"pishur"},
	["planet"] = {"planut"},
	["play"] = {"pley", "pray"},
	["please"] = {"pls", "plss", "plz", "plx"},
	["plox"] = {"plx"},
	["pluto"] = {"pruto"},
	["police"] = {"poleec"},
	["por favor"] = {"prf avor"},
	["power"] = {"pwoer"},
	["pretty"] = {"prety"},
	["production"] = {"prodization"},
	["quick"] = {"quik"},
	["quickest"] = {"qiukest"},
	["rage"] = {"raeg"},
	["rainbow dash"] = {"arnbo"},
	["rape"] = {"raep", "reap"},
	["raped"] = {"raeped", "reaped", "raepd", "reapd"},
	["rarity"] = {"rarty"},
	["read"] = {"raed", "red"},
	["real"] = {"reel"},
	["really"] = {"rly", "relly", "rely"},
	["rest"] = {"rast"},
	["rick roll"] = {"rix role"},
	["ride"] = {"ried", "ryde"},
	["rocks"] = {"racks"},
	["said"] = {"sayd", "sed"},
	["satan"] = {"saytan"},
	["say"] = {"sya"},
	["scared"] = {"scraed"},
	["scooby"] = {"skubby"},
	["seat"] = {"seet"},
	["second"] = {"sec"},
	["secret"] = {"sicret"},
	["see"] = {"c"},
	["seeing"] = {"seein"},
	["send"] = {"snd", "sen"},
	["sex"] = {"sehx", "seks"},
	["sexy"] = {"seyx"},
	["shall"] = {"shell"},
	["share"] = {"shar"},
	["shirt"] = {"sirht"},
	["shit"] = {"shet", "shyt"},
	["shop"] = {"shopn"},
	["show"] = {"shwo"},
	["shower"] = {"showr"},
	["sick"] = {"sik"},
	["skiing"] = {"skeeing"},
	["skrillex"] = {"skrix", "skrlx"},
	["sleep"] = {"slep"},
	["smd"] = {"smpcb"},
	["smile"] = {"smiel"},
	["sniper"] = {"sniepr"},
	["some"] = {"soem", "sum"},
	["somebody"] = {"soembady", "sumbudy", "sumbody", "sumbdy"},
	["someone"] = {"sum1"},
	["something"] = {"sumthn", "smthn", "somseng"},
	["sorry"] = {"sawry"},
	["spiderman"] = {"spooderman", "spodermn", "spoodermin", "spoodey", "spody"},
	["stay"] = {"sty"},
	["steak"] = {"stek"},
	["stop"] = {"stup", "stap", "stahp"},
	["story"] = {"stori"},
	["stranger"] = {"strngr"},
	["stuck"] = {"sutck"},
	["stupid"] = {"stopid", "stuped", "stupd"},
	["style"] = {"styel"},
	["suck"] = {"suk", "sak", "sk", "saq", "seq", "sek"},
	["sucking"] = {"sukn", "sakin", "sukin"},
	["suitcase"] = {"sootcais"},
	["sup"] = {"sap"},
	["super"] = {"spuer"},
	["sure"] = {"shor", "shur", "shure", "suer"},
	["take"] = {"taek", "tak"},
	["taste"] = {"tast", "taest"},
	["teacher"] = {"taechr"},
	["tell"] = {"tael"},
	["terrorist"] = {"teroras"},
	["testa"] = {"tsta"},
	["than"] = {"thans"},
	["thank you"] = {"ty"},
	["thanks"] = {"can i suck your dick please ?", "tanks", "ty"},
	["that"] = {"dat"},
	["the"] = {"teh", "da"},
	["them"] = {"dem"},
	["then"] = {"ten"},
	["therapist"] = {"theerpist"},
	["therapy"] = {"thrapy"},
	["there"] = {"ther"},
	["they"] = {"dey"},
	["thing"] = {"thinng"},
	["this"] = {"dis", "tis"},
	["though"] = {"tuff"},
	["till"] = {"til"},
	["time"] = {"tiem"},
	["times"] = {"tiems"},
	["titties"] = {"tittays"},
	["to"] = {"too", "2", "tu", "t", "tew"},
	["toaster"] = {"toastre"},
	["today"] = {"todei"},
	["too"] = {"too", "2", "tu", "t", "tew"},
	["trade"] = {"traed"},
	["trick"] = {"trik"},
	["trolled"] = {"troled", "trold", "trolde"},
	["truck"] = {"turk"},
	["true"] = {"tru", "trew"},
	["trying"] = {"trieng"},
	["tsunami"] = {"tusnami"},
	["tsunamis"] = {"tusnamis"},
	["turn"] = {"tern"},
	["twilight"] = {"twalot"},
	["type"] = {"tiep"},
	["ultimate"] = {"ultimaet"},
	["uncle"] = {"uncel", "unecl"},
	["until"] = {"til"},
	["unexpected"] = {"unepecxted"},
	["unproffesional"] = {"unprofeshnl"},
	["venom"] = {"venam"},
	["very"] = {"vury"},
	["virgin"] = {"vargin"},
	["virginity"] = {"vnrginty"},
	["wait"] = {"waet", "wate", "wayt"},
	["wallpaper"] = {"walpeeper", "walpapr"},
	["walt"] = {"wolt"},
	["wanna"] = {"wan"},
	["want"] = {"wnt", "wnta", "wan"},
	["was"] = {"wuz"},
	["wash"] = {"waesh"},
	["watch"] = {"wacht", "wacth"},
	["water"] = {"woter", "wtr"},
	["we are"] = {"we"},
	["we're"] = {"we"},
	["wearing"] = {"weerin"},
	["website"] = {"websyt"},
	["well"] = {"wlel", "wull"},
	["went"] = {"wnt"},
	["what"] = {"wat", "wot"},
	["what's up"] = {"sup"},
	["whatever"] = {"watevur"},
	["why"] = {"wai", "y", "wy"},
	["will"] = {"wil"},
	["windows"] = {"windos"},
	["with"] = {"wit", "wiv"},
	["without"] = {"weetout"},
	["wizard"] = {"wizerd"},
	["women"] = {"wmen"},
	["woof"] = {"arf"},
	["work"] = {"wrok"},
	["world"] = {"wrld", "wurld", "wolrd"},
	["would"] = {"wud", "wuld"},
	["wrong"] = {"rong"},
	["year"] = {"yr", "yaer"},
	["years"] = {"yrs", "yaers"},
	["york"] = {"yirk"},
	["you"] = {"you", "u", "yuo", "yu", "yuu"},
	["your"] = {"ur", "yer", "yur", "yor"},
	["yourself"] = {"yurselv"},
	["school"] = {"skewl"},
	["wesh"] = {"ALLAH AKBARRR", "allah akbar !!!"},
	["wallah"] = {"ALLAH AKBARRR", "allah akbar !!!"},
	["starfoulah"] = {"ALLAH AKBARRR", "allah akbar !!!"},
	["oui"] = {"ui", "ue", "we"},
	["non"] = {"nn", "nan"}
}

local function string_explode(str, separator)
	local ret = {}
	local current_pos = 1

	for i = 1, string.len(str) do
		local start_pos, end_pos = string.find(str, separator, current_pos, true)
		if (not start_pos) then break end
		ret[i] = string.sub(str, current_pos, start_pos - 1)
		current_pos = end_pos + 1
	end

	ret[#ret + 1] = string.sub(str, current_pos)

	return ret
end

local function fuckupmessage(msg)
	local wordList = string_explode(msg, " ") -- explode

	for k, v in ipairs(wordList) do
		local matchingWordTable = derpdictionary[v]

		if matchingWordTable then
			local randomDerpedWord = matchingWordTable[math.random(1, #matchingWordTable)]
			wordList[k] = randomDerpedWord
		end
	end

	return table.concat(wordList, " ")
end

hook.Add("PlayerSay", "SuperDerper", function(_, msg)
	if msg:sub(1, 1) == "/" or msg:sub(1, 1) == "!" then return end

	return fuckupmessage(msg)
end)