Monkey Object :D

example.php

<?php

include "MonkeyObject.php";

$a = new MonkeyObject;

$a->e = function () {
	return 123;
};

$a->b = function ($p) {
	return $p;
};


var_dump($a->e());
var_dump($a->b(12));

MonkeyObject.php

<?php

final class MonkeyObject
{
	/**
	 * @var \Closure[]
	 */
	private $l=[];

	public function __set($param, \Closure $value)
	{
		$this->l[$param] = $value;
	}

	public function __call($method, array $args = [])
	{
		return call_user_func_array($this->l[$method], $args);
	}
}