Here's a Zsh script to remove Microsoft AutoUpdate from your MacOS device :)

remove-mau.zsh

echo "Beginning Microslop AutoUpdate elimination process..."

echo "\n1. Checking if MAU is running:"
pkill -f "Microsoft AutoUpdate" && echo " - It was— so I shot it!" || echo " - Nope! It knows to hide."

echo "\n2. Removing MAU application folders:"

if [[ -d "/Library/Application Support/Microsoft/MAU" ]]; then
	echo " - Legacy folder found— DISINTEGRATE!"
	sudo rm -rf "/Library/Application Support/Microsoft/MAU"
else
	echo " - Legacy folder not found, as expected!"
fi

if [[ -d "/Library/Application Support/Microsoft/MAU2.0" ]]; then
	echo " - MAU2.0 folder found— DISINTEGRATE!"
	sudo rm -rf "/Library/Application Support/Microsoft/MAU2.0"
else
	echo " - No MAU2.0 folder in sight."
fi

echo "\n3. Getting rid of launch agents and daemons:"

if [[ -f "/Library/LaunchAgents/com.microsoft.update.agent.plist" ]]; then
	echo " - Located LaunchAgents/com.microsoft.update.agent."
	sudo rm -f "/Library/LaunchAgents/com.microsoft.update.agent.plist"
else
	echo " - Couldn't find LaunchAgents/com.microsoft.update.agent."
fi

if [[ -f "/Library/LaunchAgents/com.microsoft.update.agent.plist" ]]; then
	echo " - Located LaunchDaemons/com.microsoft.autoupdate.helper."
	sudo rm -f "/Library/LaunchDaemons/com.microsoft.autoupdate.helper.plist"
else
	echo " - Couldn't find LaunchDaemons/com.microsoft.autoupdate.helper."
fi


echo "\n...aaand autoslop microupdater, or whatever it's called, is now gone! I think."