Turns your computer into a complete moron until you hit Ctrl-C.

dude

#!/usr/bin/python
import random
import time

extendednessrarity=3 # one chance in extendednessrarity of extendedness
extendedness=8       # extent of extendedness

def Dude(punc,cap,l):
    youse = 'u'*l
    dude=cap('du%sde%s'%(youse,punc))
    return dude

def Sweet(punc,cap,l):
    youse = 'e'*l
    dude=cap('swe%set%s'%(youse,punc))
    return dude

try:
    while True:
        punc=random.choice(['','.','...','!','?','?!'])
        cap=random.choice([str.lower,str.upper,str.capitalize])
        l=random.randint(extendedness*-extendednessrarity,extendedness)
        print Dude(punc,cap,l)
        time.sleep(1)
        print Sweet(punc,cap,l)
        time.sleep(1)
except KeyboardInterrupt:
    print "\r" + random.choice([
         "And then?",
         "Wait a second. I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. ",
         "Dude, it's a llama!",
         "It's a break-dancing stripper emergency!",
         "Where's your car dude?",
         "Hey, have you seen my car?",
         "You just touched Christie Boner's hoo-hoo.",
         "Shibby.",
         "What does mine say?",
         "I hate to say it, Chester, but maybe we need to cut back on the shibbying.",
         "My name is Zarnoff. This is Zabu, Zellnor, Zelbor, Zelmina, and, uh, Jeff.",
         "Stoner-bashin' time!",
         "Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.",
         "Look, dude. It's those two totally gay Nordic dudes at 10 o'clock!",
         "We will now use the power of the Continuum Transfunctioner to banish you to Hoboken, New Jersey.",
         "I'm not the one who called the Dalai Lama a fag!",
         "I do not want to go down in history as the guy who destroyed the universe.",
         "Fuckin' stoners.",
         "First you give us the continuum transfunctioner, then we give you oral pleasure.",
         "You fake-breasted sluts!",
         "I'm sensing something very Canadian about this place.",
         "A trained dolphin could deliver pizzas better than you two!",
         "Look, it's an elephant!",
         "Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse.",
         "Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it?",
         "Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties.",
         "Whoa! Dude, you're a dude!",
         "And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then!",
         "Deep inside your consciousness you must look. Concentrate on the knowledge inside you must.",
         "Quick! To my parents' minivan!",
         "Quick, to my step-dad's pickup truck!",
         "You're such a goose!",
         "Stupid lamas!",
         "You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered, and I want some answers!",
         "No trespassing. Violators will be castrated: Balls - Cut - Off.",
         "Morphing is cool!" ])