Phil Delong 2017-12-16 1-of-96.txt

Phil Delong 2017-12-16 1-of-96 .txt

Chat on 12/16/17 at 7:09 AM

(7:09 AM) Lindsay Welch: Well I feel like a wuss because I’m nervous to be in the dark going in early.  
(7:09 AM) Phil Delong: Are you there yet?
(7:09 AM) Lindsay Welch: Not yet 
(7:10 AM) Phil Delong: I won’t ask you to do this again, I feel bad that you’re nervous.
(7:11 AM) Lindsay Welch: You didn’t ask me. 
(7:12 AM) Lindsay Welch: I’d like to be comfortable to go in early regularly because I need to get shit done
(7:13 AM) Phil Delong: I certainly know that feeling. Well I’m here so you aren’t alone, just do what I said before you go in. 
(7:14 AM) Lindsay Welch: Did you get some sleep?
(7:19 AM) Phil Delong: Yeah, I don’t really feel any better but it was nice to be asleep for a while. Yesterday was just really emotionally draining.
(7:22 AM) Phil Delong: I’m really not trying to make my problems, your problems.
(7:25 AM) Lindsay Welch: Your not. I want to support you however you need it. 
(7:28 AM) Lindsay Welch: I am inside now. FYI 
(7:30 AM) Phil Delong: Good, I’m glad you got in okay.
(7:31 AM) Phil Delong: Also FYI Chowder is opening with me so I hope you put at least a little effort in to your appearance because the fashion police will be here.
(7:32 AM) Lindsay Welch: Hahahaha well I don’t need him asking me if I’m going on a date either 😉
(7:38 AM) Phil Delong: Haha that’s true, that could be awkward. 
(7:40 AM) Lindsay Welch: Do you know how to put a new core in the door? And forgive me if that’s like the dumbest question you’ve ever heard 
(7:42 AM) Phil Delong: It’s not dumb. When you get a new core it comes with a core key that rather than unlocking the door, removes the core from the door. If it’s an existing core then the key should (ideally) be in the safe. 
(7:44 AM) Lindsay Welch: Alright billiards already messed with it according to his note. And it “didn’t work.”

I’ll just keep a running list of help you can give me 😉
(7:44 AM) Lindsay Welch: He also couldn’t get the elevator to work yesterday either.
(7:49 AM) Phil Delong: Well billiards doesn’t sound like the sharpest tool in the tool shed.

Keep adding to that list, I don’t mind. 😉 

And regarding him not working the elevator, reference my first sentence again lol. 
(8:39 AM) Phil Delong: Did you realize you don’t like me anymore? 🤔 
(8:40 AM) Lindsay Welch: Hmmm 🤔
(8:40 AM) Lindsay Welch: Let me think...
(8:40 AM) Lindsay Welch: Nope, still liking you. 
(8:41 AM) Phil Delong: Close call 😅
(8:42 AM) Lindsay Welch: I’ve got 2 totes to work then I’ll leave. 
(8:45 AM) Lindsay Welch: Still want to see me? 🤔
(8:48 AM) Phil Delong: 🤔 
(8:48 AM) Phil Delong: Yes 
(8:48 AM) Phil Delong: I won’t keep you long, I’m just being a little selfish and want to see you again. I know you’ve got stuff to do there. 
(8:49 AM) Lindsay Welch: Oh you’ll probably have to kick me out lol 
(8:50 AM) Lindsay Welch: I mean I’ll try to be “responsible” lol 
(8:56 AM) Phil Delong: You know it’s not what I want but I want you to be successful too 
(8:57 AM) Lindsay Welch: I know. I’m teasing. And thank you n
(9:10 AM) Phil Delong: I wonder what it’s going to be like to actually die in a CVS. 🤔 
(1:02 PM) Phil Delong: I want all of those things too, especially to be close to you with no one watching. And I did want to be with you last night, because you’re the one that makes me feel better. But I obviously understand why that couldn’t be.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like that you want your pull on me to work. 
(2:01 PM) Phil Delong: I’m sure getting up early isn’t super appealing but I want to be there for you. 
(9:06 AM) Lindsay Welch: Wow that is painfully early. 
(9:27 AM) Lindsay Welch: You are not going to die in a CVS lol. 
(9:47 AM) Lindsay Welch: Lol of course he did. He is paranoid about that. 
(9:48 AM) Lindsay Welch: And I don’t think Ashanti helps with that lol 😂 
(9:50 AM) Lindsay Welch: Billiards isn’t happy with my first weeks performance. 
(9:51 AM) Lindsay Welch: No he didn’t. Shannon Said something
(9:51 AM) Lindsay Welch: I haven’t done my best job this week
(9:52 AM) Lindsay Welch: Truck took too long 
(9:53 AM) Lindsay Welch: I’ll let you punch him If he doesn’t change his mind LOL
(9:55 AM) Lindsay Welch: Oh I think it’s funny. 
(10:02 AM) Lindsay Welch: I like that 😆
(10:08 AM) Lindsay Welch: You just don’t like him because he hit on me lol. 
(11:21 AM) Lindsay Welch: You too. Do you think we are making the right decisions? 
(11:28 AM) Lindsay Welch: I’m not trying to make this about me and I know it’s so complicated. But part of me feels if I took myself out of your situation then your life would be easier and you wouldn’t be dealing with this. 
(11:39 AM) Lindsay Welch: I can’t help but thinking that what I could have with you could be better. 
(11:51 AM) Lindsay Welch: Do you think seeing each other outside of work will help?
(11:56 AM) Lindsay Welch: I feel like I need that. 
(12:00 PM) Lindsay Welch: Yeah it does make it more nerve wracking lol. 
I want to know we have good chemistry outside of work. 
(12:06 PM) Lindsay Welch: That’s how I feel. 
(12:28 PM) Lindsay Welch: No it’s not. I’ve thought about it too 
(1:27 PM) Lindsay Welch: Good because I like it a lot. You make me feel special. 
(2:07 PM) Lindsay Welch: I’m going to be honest with you. You have been honest with me about your situation. 
My unhappiness with Seth comes from before you but you have made me feel like maybe he isn’t the best for me.
However, if pushed, seth will fight for our relationship. He would do whatever I said I needed. This is what is the hardest part for me. It will have to be my decision to walk away and it will crush him. 
(2:07 PM) Lindsay Welch: I can’t decide if I can go back to being happy with him. I don’t know if I believe I can after having feelings for you. 
(12:08 PM) Phil Delong: About being shocked if we didn’t or the stupid part lol 
(12:08 PM) Lindsay Welch: Both lol 
(12:13 PM) Lindsay Welch: Am I terrible for feeling impatient that we can’t see each other outside of work? 

And I’m not trying to put any pressure on you. 
(12:18 PM) Lindsay Welch: Well I don’t want to go to fast but I do want to know lol. So maybe it’s a good thing we were in the stock room today.
(12:20 PM) Phil Delong: I’ve thought about doing more than hugging you, I’ll leave it at that for now so I don’t frustrate both of us.
(12:36 PM) Phil Delong: You’re the one that my gut tells me to reach out to when I need something.
(12:40 PM) Phil Delong: And I’d really be lying if I told you there wasn’t a part of me that really wanted to reach out to you last night when I thought it was the end and tell you I was ready to do this. 
(12:46 PM) Phil Delong: I recognize that it’s really fucking unfair to you to say that. 
(12:49 PM) Lindsay Welch: It is hard for me to not be able to see you when I knew you are hurting. I wanted to see you last night. 
I’m being slow because of distractions not because of you. I like what you’re saying. Trust me. I don’t want to push you but hearing you say that is what I want. 
(12:49 PM) Lindsay Welch: When I know not knew 
(12:51 PM) Lindsay Welch: I can’t say I don’t want my pull on you to work. I want to know what we are like together outside of CVS. I want to be close to you with no one watching. 
(12:52 PM) Lindsay Welch: I will respect the time line of your situation though. 
(1:31 PM) Lindsay Welch: I don’t think I will ever be tired of hearing it. 
(1:35 PM) Phil Delong: 😉 
(1:36 PM) Phil Delong: Can I ask you a really heavy question?
(1:36 PM) Lindsay Welch: Yes 
(1:39 PM) Phil Delong: Will you sit by me at district meetings? ☺️
(1:39 PM) Lindsay Welch: 🤔
(1:40 PM) Lindsay Welch: I think we would be the class trouble makers. Lol 
(1:41 PM) Lindsay Welch: I need to lay something on you...
And I know this is following your joke so I’m sorry for the shitty timing. 
(1:42 PM) Phil Delong: Hit me 
(1:42 PM) Lindsay Welch: Seth is escalating this stuff faster than I wanted. And I guess it makes me want to see you outside of work...
(1:43 PM) Lindsay Welch: I don’t know maybe I’m just having a freak out moment. 
(1:47 PM) Phil Delong: I want to see you too. Escalating it like pressuring you for a lease decision?
(1:47 PM) Lindsay Welch: Yes. And more communication and what’s happening to us 
(1:49 PM) Lindsay Welch: I’m sorry I’m having a moment right now. I shouldnt make it your stress. 
(1:59 PM) Lindsay Welch: Too much?
(1:59 PM) Phil Delong: No, not at all. I was covering dumbfuck’s break 
(2:00 PM) Phil Delong: Are you going to try to lie and say it’s just work or do you think you want it to be over? 

Also, I honestly don’t know if I could peel away from home tonight and I’m not sure that you could either but I’m planning on being at the store a few hours before open tomorrow if you need to come see me before you go to work.
(2:09 PM) Lindsay Welch: What if the stuff you still don’t know about me is stuff you don’t like? I know all of that kind of stuff can’t be known. 
(2:29 PM) Phil Delong: I swear I’m not ignoring you, we’re getting slammed and you know how chowder folds under pressure. Let me see if I can be left alone to respond here now 
(2:32 PM) Phil Delong: Once again, I know this is naive of me to say, but I’d be shocked if I found something out about you that I didn’t like. Literally the most important thing to me is my children and I already laid that out for you, like what I would need. 

That being said, I am really sorry it’s happening at a speed you didn’t choose. I’m not going to tell you that you should end it with him, just like I know you wouldn’t tell me to do it because you would have last night if you were going to. I’m basically saying it can’t be a choice I push you in to, it wouldn’t work and it wouldn’t be fair.

I want to keep getting to know you, I like what I know so far, a lot, I won’t lie. But if you told me that you aren’t comfortable with ending it and needed to see what he was going to do differently for you, I wouldn’t you that against you either. It can’t be my decision, it has to be yours. It’s not fair to you otherwise. 
(2:33 PM) Phil Delong: *hold that against you 
(2:34 PM) Phil Delong: I’m sorry this is hard, I really am. I wish I could give you the perfect answer, I mean that. I’m just trying to be honest with you. 
(2:34 PM) Phil Delong: If you still feel like it’s worth fighting for, I will respect that. But we’d have to stop this. You couldn’t give that your all while being pulled apart by me. 
(2:40 PM) Phil Delong: I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. I want to help you, and it’s obviously not fair to you for me to sit on the sidelines and be like “yeah break up with him!” for obvious reasons. 
(2:40 PM) Lindsay Welch: I do understand. 
(2:42 PM) Lindsay Welch: I just wasn’t ready for this today.
(2:43 PM) Phil Delong: I know you weren’t. Believe me, after yesterday I more than understand. 

And like I said, I’m going to be here insanely early tomorrow if you want to talk.
(2:43 PM) Phil Delong: Face to face, obviously we can talk whenever 
(2:43 PM) Lindsay Welch: Ok thank you. 
(2:44 PM) Phil Delong: I’ll do whatever I can for you I just won’t be manipulative, I hope you get where I’m coming from. 
(2:44 PM) Lindsay Welch: I do 
(2:49 PM) Phil Delong: And I’m 100% not backing off, for the record. I just don’t want to manipulate you and if we have a future have you resent me for it. Idk, that may sound stupid, it sounds better in my head. 
(2:49 PM) Lindsay Welch: If I tell you, you are a factor in why I am ending it, how does that make you feel?
(2:53 PM) Phil Delong: I mean you already know you’ve been a factor in my head, I guess as long as you weren’t 100% happy before and I’m just coming in and ruining everything, I guess that’s my fear. 
(2:54 PM) Lindsay Welch: Well crying at work isn’t going to make me look like a put together store manager. 
(2:59 PM) Phil Delong: I’m so sorry, especially for my part in this but also that he’s making you do this at work. All I want for you is to do what would make you happiest, I don’t care if that involves me or not.
(3:08 PM) Lindsay Welch: This is probably it. 
(3:08 PM) Phil Delong: I might be really fucking this up, I feel like I’m telling you I’m about to disappear which is literally not what I’m saying. I am really sucking at being supportive right now I’m just trying to find the right words. 
(3:08 PM) Phil Delong: I am just trying so hard to seem like I’m not pushing you. 
(3:09 PM) Phil Delong: But I am sorry Lindsay, I have no doubt what you’re going through is not easy. 
(3:09 PM) Lindsay Welch: You’re helping 
(3:12 PM) Phil Delong: I hope so, I’m trying to 
(3:14 PM) Lindsay Welch: I can’t help but think if I go down this road and you choose not to will I be upset 
(4:08 PM) Phil Delong: Are you okay?
(5:11 PM) Lindsay Welch: I’ll text you in a while. I’m home and I don’t want my phone to be seen so don’t text me. I will text you later. 
(3:18 PM) Phil Delong: I can’t blame you for thinking that. What I can tell you is that when I thought it was over last night, all I thought about was you. And that’s the truth. I can’t give you a timeframe, because there’s a lot of stuff that I need to figure out, but that’s where I’m at. But like I said, do what’s right for Lindsay, do what is the best thing for you. That’s what I want for you. You’re a beautiful person, you should have a beautiful life. 
(3:45 PM) Phil Delong: I’m heading home so it might slow down but I’m here for you 
(3:46 PM) Lindsay Welch: Ok thank you. 
(3:46 PM) Lindsay Welch: I’m sorry I’m so slow 
(3:46 PM) Phil Delong: I more than understand 
(4:11 PM) Lindsay Welch: No not really 
(4:13 PM) Phil Delong: Is there anything I can do?
(6:33 PM) Lindsay Welch: I hope your night is going better. I feel a little bit of that tired feeling you’ve talked about. 
(6:34 PM) Phil Delong: I’m sure, how are you?
(6:34 PM) Lindsay Welch: Tired lol 
(6:34 PM) Lindsay Welch: I don’t know really. Confused. 
(6:35 PM) Lindsay Welch: But ok 
(6:35 PM) Phil Delong: This is all really confusing, I know. And I can certainly relate on being tired.
(6:36 PM) Lindsay Welch: Have any of your thoughts changed 
(6:37 PM) Phil Delong: About you? 
(6:37 PM) Lindsay Welch: Yes 
(6:37 PM) Phil Delong: No 
(6:37 PM) Lindsay Welch: Ok 
(6:37 PM) Phil Delong: What about you?
(6:38 PM) Lindsay Welch: No they haven’t really. 
(6:38 PM) Lindsay Welch: Which is partly confusing. 
(6:38 PM) Phil Delong: Why?
(6:38 PM) Lindsay Welch: I think I will come see you in the morning. 
(6:39 PM) Lindsay Welch: The fact that I can make a clear decision is confusing me 
(6:39 PM) Lindsay Welch: Can’t make 
(6:39 PM) Lindsay Welch: Totally changes the meaning lol oops 
(6:42 PM) Phil Delong: Yeah that really puts a new spin on it lol. But I know what you mean. Well I’m probably gonna get there at about 5 in the morning so just let me know when you get there and I’ll let you in.

And I know I’ve said this before but I’m not going to punish you whatever you decide, I can’t stress that enough. If you told me an hour from now that you needed to shut it down I would still do everything I can for you from an appropriate standpoint. And I’m gonna get you out of that store regardless. 
(6:43 PM) Lindsay Welch: Thank you. I don’t think I can say thank you enough. 
(6:44 PM) Phil Delong: Of course
(6:44 PM) Lindsay Welch: Are you doing any better? 
(6:53 PM) Phil Delong: Now there’s a tough question. I came home and said I wasn’t fighting and I wasn’t going to talk about it, that I was just done for the moment because I’m tired. So I’m better than I was at the end of the night last night I guess is my short answer. 
(4:16 PM) Lindsay Welch: I don’t know 
(4:16 PM) Phil Delong: Well I’m here 
(4:16 PM) Phil Delong: If you need me 
(4:18 PM) Lindsay Welch: I feel crazy 
(4:19 PM) Lindsay Welch: I cannot figure this out 
(4:20 PM) Lindsay Welch: When he says he’s never been more hurt I feel upset. When he can’t answer my questions how I want them answered then I’m not happy 
(4:22 PM) Phil Delong: I get it, believe me. Like I said, I’ve basically been set up to be the bad guy when I bring back up what I didn’t even start last night.
(4:22 PM) Phil Delong: But you deserve answers.
(4:36 PM) Lindsay Welch: I cried in front of billiards. I feel ridiculous. 
(4:37 PM) Phil Delong: It is what it is, it’s bullshit that you have to do this while you’re at work.
(4:37 PM) Lindsay Welch: I left finally 
(4:44 PM) Phil Delong: Well don’t worry about how fast you respond tonight obviously, just know I’m here.
(4:45 PM) Lindsay Welch: Thank you. You are helping. 
(7:01 PM) Phil Delong: Can I ask you a blunt question? 
(4:45 PM) Phil Delong: I hope so, that’s all I want 
(10:03 PM) Lindsay Welch: I need to be done. 
(10:05 PM) Lindsay Welch: I am truly sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you.