gistfile1.txt

Cust: What is the command that will tell me
the revision code of a program?

Tech: Yes, that's correct.

Cust: No, what is it?

Tech: Yes.

Cust: Yes?

Tech: No, yes is not. 'what' is.

Cust: So, which is the one?

Tech: No, 'which' is used to find the program.

Cust: Stop this. Who are you?

Tech: Use 'who am i', not 'who are you'.

Cust: All I want to know is what finds the revision code?

Tech: Yes. What.

Cust: That's what i am trying to find out! Isn't that true?

Tech: No, 'true' gives you zero.

Cust: Which one?

Tech: 'which programname'.

Cust: Argh. Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?

Tech: Type 'find / –name it –print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to
get the revision code.

Cust: I want to find the revision code.

Tech: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.

Cust: Which command will do what I need?

Tech: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.

Cust: I think I understand. Let me write that.

Tech: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.

Cust: Write what?

Tech: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.

Cust: Cut that out!

Tech: Yes. Those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options.

Cust: Do you always do this?

Tech: 'du' will give you disk usage.

Cust: HELP!

Tech: 'help' is illegal. Use 'man'.

Cust: Which man?

Tech: No, 'man what'.

Cust: What?

Tech: Yes.

Cust: You make me angry.

Tech: No, I don't 'make me' angry, but I did 'make program' when I was
upset once.

Cust: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.

Tech: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has
'more'.

Cust: More of what?

Tech: More or less.

Cust: Nice help! I'm confused more now.

Tech: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better
not to 'nice help'. And 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is.

Cust: This is almost as confusing as my PC.

Tech: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me transfer you to the
Pascal compiler team.