I'm Australian
give me some bash boilerplate that:
- checks bashes version and refuses to run if its older than current
- sets up all safe and desirable shopts: globbing and lastpipe, not nullglob or whatever
- Sets up boot, machine, and invocation id from systemd's id stuff
- sets up variables for all the XDG dirs
- sets up an array called "TRAP_EXIT" that will run on the exit trap