Internet Incident Generator

incident.js

/*
        DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE 
                    Version 2, December 2004 

 Copyright (C) 2004 Sam Hocevar <[email protected]> 

 Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim or modified 
 copies of this license document, and changing it is allowed as long 
 as the name is changed. 

            DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE 
   TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION AND MODIFICATION 

  0. You just DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO.
*/

var sites = ["4chan", "tumblr", "twitter", "facebook", "youtube", "discord", "reddit", "xat", "adobe", "stumbleupon", "bebo", "google", "9gag", "ifunny"]
var adjectives = ["cum", "piss", "foot", "shit", "fucking", "smegma", "clown", "stolen", "blood", "sticky"]
var nouns = ["book", "stove", "guitar", "laptop", "hard drive", "car", "chair", "bicycle", "glove", "sock", "keyboard", "bottle", "jar", "dildo", "crate"]

function generate_incident() {
    let result = "the ";

    result += sites[Math.floor(Math.random() * sites.length)] + " ";
    result += adjectives[Math.floor(Math.random() * adjectives.length)] + " ";
    result += nouns[Math.floor(Math.random() * nouns.length)] + " ";

    result += "incident"

    console.log(result);
}

generate_incident();

So I just realized I never wrote a description for this gist, uh, whoops!

This was a joke turned into an actual program following a discussion on Discord about "internet incidents", and specifically the infamous "Burger King Foot Lettuce". I decided to create this very crass (read: funny) and highly immature (read: VERY funny) little script to come up with more incidents following the scheme of website-adjective-noun. It is distressingly accurate (read: hilarious).

Released under the similarly-crude WTFPL, effectively public domain. An updated version of this script can be toyed with here.