My favorite jokes from icndb.com

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There are no steroids in baseball. Just players %s has breathed on.
The %s military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single %s could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. | nerdy, games
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of %s's warm-up exercises.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: %s once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he pooped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. | fiction
If you spell %s in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures %s allows to live. | nerdy, science
%s can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep %s out. It failed miserably. | history
%s once kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. | nerdy, history
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1%sK (%s Kick). | nerdy
%s doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
If tapped, a %s kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
%s can divide by zero. | nerdy
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a %s kick. | nerdy, science
%s always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "%s" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
In the beginning there was nothing...then %s kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. | nerdy
%s once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. %s can change the laws of physics. With his fists. | nerdy
%s kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum. | nerdy, science
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured %s instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as %s kicked Sauron halfway through the first chapter. | nerdy, fiction
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, %s would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. | nerdy, science
There is no such thing as global warming. %s was cold, so he turned the sun up. | nerdy, science
It's widely believed that Jesus was %s's stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce %s's skin.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the %s halloween costume he was wearing. | history, science
%s recently had the idea to sell his spit as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and %s finds it delicious.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. %s jumped out of a plane and punched the ground | history
%s destroyed the periodic table, because %s only recognizes the element of surprise. | science, nerdy
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call %s a giant meteor. | history, nerdy
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for %s. %s eats black holes. They taste like chicken. | science, nerdy
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And %s". | history
Don't worry about tests, %s's test cases cover your code too. | computer, nerdy
%s compresses his files by doing a kick to the hard drive. | computer, nerdy
%s knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too. | computer, nerdy
%s's Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.| computer, nerdy
%s can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread. | computer, nerdy
%s knows the last digit of PI. | nerdy
%s can write infinite recursion functions and have them return. | computer, nerdy