gistfile1.txt

Dear Y'all (or 'you all' depending on the geographic origin of your email),

I'm on vacation.  If things are going well, my feet are likely kicked up near a pool while my kids are quietly behaving.

I do apologize for being out of pocket, but given that my last auto-reply email was written when my Daughter, Blahdita, was born (### months ago), I feel fairly justified to take this week off.

If you need immediate attention, please stop, take a deep breath, and consider whether you REALLY need immediate attention or not.  If you do, please consider it a third time.  I'm confident you'll realize that it can wait.

IF you do need immediate attention beyond these three checks, you can email Blah McBlah (blahn@blahblah.com) and he'll do his best to reply as quickly as possible.

Also, if I have offended you with my tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted auto-reply, please feel free to lose my email address and find another business vendor (This is the serious part of the email. If you're offended, we probably don't work well together anyway.  Good luck).

Cheers :)