Empathy has helped me tremendously in my own life, as a figure skating coach and choreographer. It was very important that I become an active listener AND an active watcher in order to better understand my students' styles of learning. That skill crosses over into software development in so far as truly understanding the needs of my clients from their own perspectives, not just my own. Empathic thought and expression is also an important skill to implement in team building and teamwork. I also find that group empathy can be exercised into corrolating to community building. I recall having a very heated and intense discussion with a coworker about his attitude in the workplace, and subsequently the impact that his attitude has on our clients, our coworkers, and ultimately the business.
He later explained to me that it was the 1-year anniversary of the day that he'd lost his daughter in a car accident. I was able to immediately empathize with what he was experiencing inside, allowed him to express his emotions, responded empathically, and allowed him as much time away from work to mourne. He decided to stay and work that day, and his attitude had completely changed just from my having met him exactly where he was and making the concious decision to walk with him on this portion of his journey.When emotions are involved, as in this example, it can be more difficult to be empathic. I find that taking deep breathes, exercising yoga, or meditation all afford the brain extra time to process imformation. This also provides us more time to discover the most appropriate and productive reactions, which can make all of the difference in the choreography of the dance of life.