Always Be Closing

AlwaysBeClosing

// ==UserScript==
// @name       Always Be Closing
// @namespace  http://statestreetgang.net/
// @version    1.2
// @description  Adds easy-to-use buttons for closing crap questions.
// @match      http*://stackoverflow.com/questions/*
// @copyright  2012+, You
// ==/UserScript==
var container = document.createElement('div'), resultSpan = document.createElement('span'), post, tries = 0;

container.appendChild(resultSpan);
container.style.marginBottom = '5px';

function getPost() { // gets the post element so we can stick our buttons all up in it
    return document.getElementsByClassName('post-taglist')[0];
}

function getId() { // this is your ID. There are many like it, but actually yours is distinct, so that quote doesn't really apply. 
    return document.location.href.match(/\d+/);
};

function button(text, title) { // helper to create each button. Alter as desired.
    var btn = document.createElement('button');
    btn.title = title;
    btn.innerText = text;
    btn.style.marginRight = '5px';
    return btn;
}
function offTopicForm(id) { // this creates a form data object used when handling an off topic flag
    var form = closeFormMe('OffTopic');
    form.append('closeAsOffTopicReasonId', id);
    form.append('offTopicOtherText', 'This question appears to be off-topic because it is not within the bounds of discussion as described in the help center.');// annoying, but you must submit at least 30 characters. Between the arrows are 30 zero width unicode chars you can use to enter whatever you want -->​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍<-- oh, and ಠ_ಠ
    form.append('originalOffTopicOtherText', "I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because");
    return form;
}
function closeFormMe(reason) {// this creates a form data object used when handling other close flags
    var form = formMe();
    form.append('closeReasonId', reason);
    return form;
}
function formMe() { // creates our submit form. 
    var formData = new FormData();
    formData.append('fkey', StackExchange.options.user.fkey); // fkey is used in every form, as it identifies the user handling the flag.
    return formData;
}
function showSuccess() {
    resultSpan.style.color = 'lime';
    resultSpan.innerText = "ABC'd";
}
function showFail() {
    resultSpan.style.color = 'red';
    resultSpan.innerText = "Nope.jpg";
}
function postMuhForm(url, form) { // posts muh form
    var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest();
    xhr.open('POST', url, true);
    xhr.onload = function (e) {
        if (this.status === 200) {
            var result = JSON.parse(this.response);
            if (result.Success) {
                showSuccess();
            } else {
                showFail();
                console.log(result);
            }
        }
        else {
            showFail();
            console.log(e.responseText);
            console.log(e);
        }
    };

    xhr.send(form);
}
function offTopicButton(text, title, reasonId) {// Basic off topic button creator.  element is the parent into which we add the button, the button text and title, and the reasonId for the form.  
    innerButton(text, title, offTopicForm(reasonId));
}
function closeQuestionButton(text, title, reason) {// same as above, but for other reasons not "off topic"
    innerButton(text, title, closeFormMe(reason));
}
function innerButton(text, title, form) {// support for the above two
    var muhButton = button(text, title);
    muhButton.onclick = function () {
        postMuhForm('/flags/questions/' + getId() + '/close/add', form);
    };
    container.insertBefore(muhButton, container.firstChild);
}
function insertAfter(newNode, referenceNode) {// props http://stackoverflow.com/a/4793630/1228
    referenceNode.parentNode.insertBefore(newNode, referenceNode.nextSibling);
}
function apply() { // here we try to insert our buttons into the post, with some jiggery pokery to get around timing issues and stuff
    post = getPost();
    if (post) {
        insertAfter(container, post);
    } else {
        if (document.readyState != 'complete') {
            window.addEventListener("load", apply);
        } else if (tries++ < 3) {
            setTimeout(apply, 1000); // face facts, I'm just cargo-culting here.
        }
    }
}

// Off topic, server fault question
offTopicButton('SF', 'Server question', 7);
// off topic, super user question
offTopicButton('SU', 'SuperUser', 4);
// off topic, we expect you to tell us what you tried and what you did
offTopicButton('NE', 'No effort', 13);
// off topic, you're asking for links or libraries
offTopicButton('LIB', 'Libraries, links', 8);
// off topic, it's a simple bug and is already fixed
offTopicButton('TL', 'Typo', 11);
// close as Unclear
closeQuestionButton('UC', 'Unclear', 'Unclear');
// close as Too broad
closeQuestionButton('TB', 'Too Broad', 'Toobroad');
// close as Opinion
closeQuestionButton('OB', 'Opinion based', 'OpinionBased');
// off topic, we expect you to tell us what you tried and what you did
offTopicButton('OT', 'Not programming related', 3);

// wish us luck!
apply();

Updated to remove all that jquery nonsense and do some cleanup