- 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
- Red bell pepper, diced
- Yellow bell pepper, diced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 yellow onions, minced
- 24 oz. can tomatoes, diced (Pastine 4-LYFE)
- 24 oz. can tomatoes, crushed (See above)
- 1 can black beans, drained/rinsed
- 1 can kidney beans, drained/rinsed
- 1 can vegetable stock
- 6 cans (cheap) beer
- 1 bottle Tabasco™ sauce
- 1 bay leaf
- One canned chipotle chili in abobo sauce, or 1 Tbsp chipotle chili powder added to spice mix
- 1 bag of that soy protein “ground beef” stuff
Spice Mix
- 3 Tbsp chili powder
- 1 Tbsp cumin powder
- 2 tsp oregano
- 1 Tbsp paprika (smoked, if you can get it)
- 1/2 tsp. black pepper
Place the bottle of Tabasco™ sauce directly in the garbage. Heat oil on medium-high and throw the bell peppers and “ground beef” in there, stirring almost constantly—that stuff browns pretty fast. I’ll usually turn the heat down to lowish-medium and splash a little stock in there to cool it off before adding the garlic and onions, so they don’t brown. Throw your spice mix in and let the liquid cook off—your onions should be getting transparent around the edges. Add the tomatoes, diced-up chipotle, bay leaf, and rinsed beans (which should carry enough salt that you won’t have to worry about salting the tomato to draw out the bitterness; see notes). Crank the heat and stir frequently for maybe fifteen minutes (keep a lid handy, as it will spit when it starts bubbling).
Lower the heat and keep covered for at least a couple hours, stirring occasionally and topping it up with a 50/50 of vegetable stock and beer as the liquid cooks off. During this time, drink the remaining five beers. When the time comes, season to taste in small increments—maybe add a couple spoonfuls of leftover abobo—then cook it down to the desired thickness. Remove the bay leaf, unless you want to add an element of danger to the meal.
This stuff is noticeably better if you throw it in the fridge until the following day.
Notes:
- I mess with this recipe constantly: a shot of tequila over the sautéing vegetables (stand back), a little dark chocolate, a couple dashes of hot sauce, some strong cheese grated in towards the end, whatever. It’s pretty hard to screw this up.
- If you’re not doing it vegetarian, use the leanest ground beef you can find so it doesn’t turn into a soggy mess instead of browning. Render some bacon fat instead of using vegetable oil, for additional smokiness.
- If you can get those heirloom suckers, I dice up an equivalent amount and zap them with a hand blender a couple of times instead of using canned tomatoes. Those things are great.
- I usually drain and rinse the beans at the start, then let them sit in salted water until I need them—they seem to come out more “al dente” and have a less paper-y skin texture that way. It should taste like seawater, pasta-style. Rinse off the salt water before adding them.