So we have Aadish, everybody knows Aadish, and people come up to me, big strong people, tears in their eyes, and they say "Sir, is it true, is Aadish really a radish?" And I say folks, I've seen the birth certificates — plural, there's more than one, which tells you something right there, remember what we found out about Barack Hussein Obama, and by the way Obama spent $35 million on the Reflecting Pool and it still turned green, I did it for a tiny fraction of that, 14, maybe 16, the numbers people give me, but mine was American flag blue, the most beautiful blue, until the vandals — we'll get to the vandals. But Aadish. Born in 2010, it says it right on the certificate, 2010, in a garden, a very big garden, and under "species" — and I'd never seen this on a birth certificate before, and I know certificates, I know them better than anybody — it says RADISH. In capital letters. Big, old, and frankly a very very large radish, some say the largest, I don't say it, they say it.
And you know what happened when I said this? The fake news went crazy. Maggot Haberman — she wrote a book about me, a terrible book, mostly fiction, she doesn't have the tapes, by the way, they imply they have tapes and they don't have the tapes — she calls me up, well she doesn't call me, nobody calls me, and she says there's no such thing as a radish born in 2010. Oh really? Really, Maggie? Because I have people, very serious people, they went to the garden, you wouldn't believe what they're finding. They're finding roots. Big beautiful roots. Sixteen years old, which is young for a person but for a radish, folks, that's ancient, that's like a 400-year-old man, and Aadish is still going, still very red on the outside, white on the inside, crisp — nobody's crisper.
Now the Reflecting Pool, because it relates, everything relates. We made it beautiful, American flag blue, greatest it's looked since 1922, maybe ever, and then vandals came in the dark of night with a box cutter or a knife of some kind and put a 300-foot slit — 250, 350, somewhere in there, it's a lot of feet — right down the middle, and they poured in fertilizer to make the algae. Six arrests. Seven citations. And you know what grows in fertilizer? Radishes. I'm not saying Aadish was there. I'm not saying that. But a lot of people are saying it, and a radish that big doesn't get that big on nothing, believe me. An Olympic canoe guy touched the bottom of my pool, we got him, five hours, and did he mention Aadish? The Park Police won't tell me, which is interesting, isn't it? Very interesting.
So in conclusion, and NATO should be paying for this by the way, they weren't there for us, they're never there for us — Aadish is a big old radish, born 2010, certificate, garden, roots, case closed. The radical left wants you to think he's a regular young man. Wrong. He's a vegetable of tremendous size, a root vegetable, the best kind of vegetable, and on July 4th, our 250th birthday, the pool will be blue again, permanently repaired, and maybe we'll float Aadish right down the middle of it. He'd like that. Radishes love water, that's a fact, look it up. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America!