Nasty Nate's Pipelines

DontDoDrugsAndCode.php

<?php

/*
 * So, I have no idea what exactly you could do with this.
 * I'm sure it's been done before, as well.
 
 * But, I've never thought about a 'multi-prong' call pipeline ...
 * where you have
 * the return value
 * parameter arg
 * the normal __get() magic
 * .. PLUS taking over the array offset get
 * .. PLUS, in some circumstances also being able to take over
 * .. __call() ... In this case, the previous stanza must've 
 * .. resulted in a string (see BUTTER! below)
 */

$proc = (new Procedure(0))
        ['hey']->there("peanut")->butter->how("you")->{"doing"}('!')
        ->Im->Doing->Fine->Im['doing']->JustFreaking("Great!")
        ->I->Said
        ->{'HEY!'}->There['Peanut']['Butter!']("HOW ARE YOU DOING!?"); // last () wouldn't normally be possible

// -- Results in --
/*
Procedure::offsetGet: 0 (Offset: hey)
Procedure::__call: 0 (Name: there, Value: peanut)
Procedure::__get: 0 (Name: butter)
Procedure::__call: 1 (Name: how, Value: you)
Procedure::__call: 2 (Name: doing, Value: !)
Procedure::__get: 3 (Name: Im)
Procedure::__get: 4 (Name: Doing)
Procedure::__get: 5 (Name: Fine)
Procedure::__get: 6 (Name: Im)
Procedure::offsetGet: 7 (Offset: doing)
Procedure::__call: 7 (Name: JustFreaking, Value: Great!)
Procedure::__get: 8 (Name: I)
Procedure::__get: 9 (Name: Said)
Procedure::__get: 10 (Name: HEY!)
Procedure::__get: 11 (Name: There)
Procedure::offsetGet: 12 (Offset: Peanut)
Procedure::offsetGet: 12 (Offset: Butter!)
butter-magic invoked!
args
array(1) {
  [0]=>
  string(19) "HOW ARE YOU DOING!?"
}
*/

Procedure.php

<?php

class Procedure implements \ArrayAccess
{
    /**
     * This has no need to use statics except an easy method of tracking where we are.
     *
     * @var array
     */
    static $bigGlobalVariableToShowThatThisMightBeBarelyUseful = [];

    /**
     * This has no need to use statics except an easy method of tracking where we are.
     * @var int
     */
    static private $incr = 0;

    /**
     * @var int
     */
    private $generation = 0;

    public function __construct(int $generation = 0)
    {
        $this->generation = $generation;
    }

    public function __call($name, $arguments)
    {
        echo __METHOD__ . ": " . $this->generation . " (Name: $name, Value: ";
        echo (is_scalar($arguments[0]) ? $arguments[0] : 't: ' . gettype($arguments[0])) . ")\n";

        self::$bigGlobalVariableToShowThatThisMightBeBarelyUseful[] = ['__set', $name, $arguments];
        return new Procedure(self::$incr++);
    }

    public static function __callStatic($name, $arguments)
    {
        echo __METHOD__ . ": " . self::$incr . " (Name: $name, Value: ";
        echo (is_scalar($arguments[0]) ? $arguments[0] : 't: ' . gettype($arguments)) . ")\n";

        self::$bigGlobalVariableToShowThatThisMightBeBarelyUseful[] = ['__set', $name, $arguments];
        return new Procedure(self::$incr++);
    }

    public function __get($name)
    {
        echo __METHOD__ . ": " . $this->generation . " (Name: $name)\n";

        self::$bigGlobalVariableToShowThatThisMightBeBarelyUseful[] = ['__get', $name];
        return new Procedure(self::$incr++);
    }

    public function __set($name, $value)
    {
        echo __METHOD__ . ": " . $this->generation . " (Name: $name, Value: ";
        echo (is_scalar($value) ? $value : 't: ' . gettype($value)) . ")\n";

        self::$bigGlobalVariableToShowThatThisMightBeBarelyUseful[] = ['__set', $name, $value];
        return $this->checkIfSendSomeSpecialSignalForParensNext($name);
    }

    private function checkIfSendSomeSpecialSignalForParensNext($val)
    {
        if (stripos($val, 'butter') !== false) {
            return function(...$args) { 
                echo "butter-magic invoked!\n";
                echo "args\n";
                var_dump($args);
                
                return 'butter';
            };
        } else {
            return $this;
        }
    }

    public function offsetExists($offset)
    {
        return true;
    }

    public function offsetGet($offset)
    {
        echo __METHOD__ . ": " . $this->generation . " (Offset: $offset)\n";
        return $this->checkIfSendSomeSpecialSignalForParensNext($offset);
    }

    public function offsetSet($offset, $value)
    {
        $offset = $this;
        $value = $this;
    }

    public function offsetUnset($offset)
    {
        // ? 
    }

    /**
     * Only occurs if we use () right after the object new
     */
    public function __invoke(...$args)
    {
        echo __METHOD__ . ": " . $this->generation . " ";
        echo "(Value: " . (is_scalar($args) ? $args : 't: ' . gettype($args)) . ")\n";
    }

    public function __toString()
    {
        return "generation" . self::$incr;
    }
}