a crappy python proof that the halting problem is unsolvable

halting-problem.py

def halts(f, x):
    # returns True if f(x) halts
    # False if it runs forever
    # notably, to solve the halting problem, it *must* return either True or False
    # it can't just run forever...
    return magic_turing_oracle(f, x)

def sneaky(f):
    # see if f halts when passed itself as input...
    if halts(f, f):
        # f halts, so we shouldn't
        while True: pass
    else:
        # f doesn't halt, so we should
        return

# what on *earth* does this do?
print(halts(sneaky, sneaky))