Chat logs of a disruptive / unhinged user ("cantelope"—can't even spell, or get a host mask 😑) from the #webdev channel on Libera.

channel.log

…

GetShwifty
put out fire deploys :( 
00:13:18

explore
is it IT related
00:51:10
i don't want to assume it's IT/sw dev
00:51:15
i know guys who do completely unrelated work in their day
00:51:32
like this guy i know, he is working on baby sitting mail servers, but also strangely a guard in a student dorm
00:51:51
all in the same day, just multitasks
00:51:57

spinningCat
i have a main table that keeps type of service and other table have some different column for service and i connect those serviceinfo table with service type id. What i wndow is can get seperate view like i show in you in example with one select. https://dbfiddle.uk/kn0RdYPT
04:00:07

mchonedev
GetShwifty, i hate those days. i do kinda miss it though. being on an aws migration means that i haven't deployed code in some time, mostly just slinging servers atm 
09:03:27

GetShwifty
i do not miss days like yesterday lol
09:09:56
this client may very well get told to kindly go do something unkind if this happens two more times  this yearlol 
09:10:41

mchonedev
lol
09:11:07
i _feel_ that
09:11:15

cantelope
If what happens?
09:14:53
enter metaphor
09:15:04
derogatory assessments of certain people and institutions?
09:15:40
Just guessing
09:15:49
I really have no idea
09:15:55

GetShwifty
client rushed / had weird requirements (and are not relaly paying remotely anywhere neare for their demands)
09:19:06
and a bad deploy ensues 
09:19:12
2nd time this year 
09:19:28

mchonedev
the client i'm working with has been shocked that we have had trouble moving exremely load heavy systems to the cloud without downtime despite the fact that they don't have maintenance windows or a failover config. we can't do magic
09:25:28
and when we want to talk with someone about said issues, it's always the faceless entity that is "the business" that needs to sign off
09:25:53
when we ask who the business is, everyone shrugs
09:26:03

cantelope
well, that's all normal
09:26:17

GetShwifty
lol
09:26:20

mchonedev
cantelope, it's normal but it doesn't have to be
09:26:31

cantelope
Why not do a seamless migration. Like fully mirror the infrastructure in the cloud then do the final switch live, via DNS?
09:27:22

GetShwifty
HAHAHAHAHAH
09:27:29

cantelope
No?
09:27:33

mchonedev
^
09:27:34

GetShwifty
that might be posible with ..
09:27:37
a small ya know one or two system maybe 5 system system
09:27:44
lol
09:27:44
but even that ! 
09:27:50
i've seen ONE SERVER systems
09:27:56

mchonedev
They don't know what they have on the systems, much less a deploy pipeline
09:27:57

GetShwifty
that took almost a year to migrate to the cloud 
09:28:00

cantelope
Just pause the databases for a few minutes...
09:28:01

GetShwifty
hahahah
09:28:04

cantelope
???
09:28:06

GetShwifty
"just pause the db" 
09:28:08
dude 
09:28:12

mchonedev
cantelope, the technology is not the hard part of a migration
09:28:17

GetShwifty
we're not talking about simple php/mysql websites
09:28:18
lmao
09:28:19

cantelope
Didn't assume you were
09:28:33

GetShwifty
your solutions, however did 
09:28:43
:-p
09:28:44

mchonedev
if we could endure downtime, we could be done, hundreds of servers, over a long weekend
09:28:45

cantelope
I don't see how scale affects the viability of a seamless migration suggestion
09:29:20

GetShwifty
complexity, downtime, can it be a partial / evolving migration
09:29:40

mchonedev
because the knowledge is spread thinner and thinner the bigger the scale gets
09:29:41
it's harder to coordinate with 10 people than it is with 3
09:29:50

GetShwifty
yup
09:29:59

cantelope
sounds like you're the one who is assuming... That downtime is a requirement 
09:30:02

mchonedev
lol we've pushed back on that one HARD
09:30:13
we aren't assuming anything
09:30:18

cantelope
NO U
09:30:32

GetShwifty
this conversation is going to the gutter i see
09:30:46
lol
09:30:47

cantelope
good morning!
09:30:55

GetShwifty
hi
09:31:00

mchonedev
yeah, i was just having fun telling war stories around the proverbial fire xD 
09:31:06

cantelope
I just drank a whole quart of chocolate milk with coffee crystals to my dome, and I'm feeling sassy
09:31:30

GetShwifty
"to my dome"?
09:31:44

mchonedev
coffee crystals?
09:31:55

cantelope
Wast coast figure of speech rooted in drug culture...
09:32:03

GetShwifty
i...seeee....
09:32:18

cantelope
"I just sparked a blunt to my dome" etc
09:32:21
:P
09:32:28

GetShwifty
right then
09:32:38

cantelope
I also have a penis
09:32:49

GetShwifty
wanders off to investigate access token managers
09:32:53

cantelope
being human intensifies
09:32:55

mchonedev
on that note
09:33:27

cantelope
have fun with your aftermath of migrating stuff that's too hard to not turn everything off first
09:33:32

mchonedev
goes back to client hell
09:33:33

GetShwifty
lol
09:35:11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSVJBRctU1s
09:42:34

cantelope
See, our main product isn't software, hardware, or any kind of service, contrary to appearances 
10:21:41
It is, in fact, appearances themselves 
10:21:56
We're selling a professional veneer, first and foremost 
10:22:16
So there will be no talk of, aknoeledgement of, or use of....
10:22:36
Penises
10:22:39
In this company
10:22:46
Leave your penis at the door
10:22:55

mchonedev
cantelope, can we cut it out? it's not offending anyone, it's just weird.
10:23:14

GetShwifty
^^
10:23:24

cantelope
I know. It is weird to acknowledge penises. It's weird and alarming because it shouldn't be weird
10:25:22
I think of your job costs you any important aspect of your person, it represents an unsupportable mutilation of the person and their culture
10:26:08
But lemme take my weird ideas elsewhere
10:26:26
Brb
10:26:28
think if*
10:26:43
Today we are without penises. Tomorrow every aspect of independence and autonoy will be extinct 
10:27:41
autonomy*
10:27:46
mchonedev: I understand from your comment that someone has lied to you
10:35:28
I do not seek to offend people. If you care about true motives...
10:35:49
But neither do I avoid it unreasonably in the course of other important things like drawing attention to the ubiquitous, toxicity of corporate cultural subservience 
10:37:54
Deez shits no joke bruh mess u up
10:40:26
...you can (and will) disregard all this weirdness. Because it it strange. If something were really important they would have told you about it I'm sure
10:42:58
Stick to your trusted sources ;)
10:44:26
They can never be usurped by the unscrupulous
10:44:47
Without you knowing...
10:45:01
Centralized data FTW \o/
10:45:48
...for someone's win
10:45:56
usurpation intensifies 
10:48:46

GothAlice
missed things.
14:01:48

…

ChanServ sets mode +o GothAlice
16:39:38

GothAlice sets mode +b $a:cantelope
16:39:57

GothAlice kicked cantelope from the channel (Goodbye.)
16:40:02

GothAlice sets mode -o GothAlice
16:40:05

pm.log

GothAlice
As a moderator of the #webdev channel, I have now received multiple complaints about your… unattributable rants. I have a number of your statements to point at, but won't, because that invites argument. Desist.
14:06:05

cantelope
pardon? desist in what exactly?
15:20:12
without example(s) i have no idea what you're referring to
15:20:21

GothAlice
Okay, examples demanded. "It is weird to acknowledge penises." Then we get into paranoid conspiracy with "If you care about true motives..." or "Stick to your trusted sources ;)" or "usurpation intensifies" and complete nonsense "Deez shits no joke bruh mess u up" and 18 messages uninterrupted by any engagement from any other user in the channel (qualifies as an "unhinged rant") …
15:33:08
The last person who "whipped out a penis" in-channel will forever have his name associated with the bannable statement by way of the idiocy of posting his CV at the same time: https://gist.github.com/amcgregor/1447023efb76b97af637
15:34:20
If you feel you won't be able to resist, let me know.
15:34:29

cantelope
oh hey, sorry what again? you're saying what about theories? this is a very weird message. you ok?
16:39:08

GothAlice
Goodbye.

cantelope has userhost [email protected] and real name “cantelope”
cantelope is in #webdev
cantelope is connected on zirconium.libera.chat (Milano, IT)
cantelope is using a secure connection
cantelope signed on at Today at 09:08:32 EDT and has been idle for 41 seconds
cantelope is logged in as cantelope

cantelope
no, not goodbye
16:39:56
what are you saying about inappropriate something or other?
16:40:08
what exactly are you asking me to do?
16:40:14

GothAlice
You may tilt as you wish in this private message channel.
16:40:21

cantelope
i don't even know what that means?
16:40:31
 what is tilting?
16:40:34
if you think 18 messages is a rant, you should see ascii art. sometimes it's many hundreds of uninterrupted lines
16:41:55
all uninterrupted text requires is frequent use of the enter key while people listen haha
16:42:16
but enjoy your mission. no idea still, what you're driving at
16:42:30
something about mentioning penises i guess
16:42:37
is that off topic then?
16:42:45
cantelope
<cantelope> See, our main product isn't software, hardware, or any kind of service, contrary to appearances 
16:45:31
<cantelope> It is, in fact, appearances themselves 
16:45:31
<cantelope> We're selling a professional veneer, first and foremost 
16:45:31
<cantelope> So there will be no talk of, aknoeledgement of, or use of....
16:45:31
<cantelope> Penises
16:45:31
<cantelope> In this company
16:45:32
<cantelope> Leave your penis at the door
16:45:32
this is what your superiors are pissed about, for the record
16:45:48
in case you care ;P
16:45:53
have a good day alice
16:45:56
if that is your real nick
16:46:01

GothAlice
Keep assuming. It makes an ass out of you.
16:46:36

cantelope
i don't need to
16:46:41

GothAlice
Right. Keep deluding yourself, then. 🙂
16:46:50

cantelope
i was there, and i'll be sharing this text and your actions far and wide
16:46:52
enjoy the blast
16:46:56

GothAlice
Don't worry, this log will be up publicly on gist.github.com along with the channel text that instigated it.
16:47:15
I'll link you a copy.
16:47:21

cantelope
makes no difference. you and your group are already in poor standing. too much deception. no one cares or believes anything you guys spew anymore
16:48:10
but have fun i guess
16:48:13

GothAlice
There, I think I cleaned this up reasonably: https://gist.github.com/amcgregor/178a833df1220eafc01b0fbc11aaf4b0
16:55:12
Goodbye. Again.
16:55:16