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I Left My Pants In San Franciso

November 26, 2014

Goodbye San Francisco. I've been with you over 10 years, and now I am leaving. During our time together, I have, in no particular order:

  • worked as a life insurance agent
  • suffered 2 broken arms in a bicycle accident
  • started a an insurance business
  • closed an insurance business
  • started a technical recruiting business
  • sold a technical recruiting business
  • dreamt an 8' snake was eating my arm
  • given an 8' snake up for adoption
  • became homeless after the economy blew up
  • has to explain 24 hours of downtime to customers
  • learned the craft of software development
  • pushed to production, taking down the home page
  • filled hundreds of positions at tech companies
  • been cornered by a stealth prositute in my kitchen
  • known several people who have died at a young age
  • stepped in a dalmation's poop with my bare feet
  • got two homeless people off the street for good
  • failed to get another homeless person off the street
  • learned not to take candy from stealth drug dealers
  • paid enough parking fines to repave all of Market St
  • seen drug needles in the shower
  • learned that Jenny only wanted to sell me alcohol
  • won a scavenger hunt thanks to a detective & a condom
  • outmanuevered my landlord's cheap ass tricks
  • lost a friend over two Sheryl Crow concert tickets
  • seen 12 people peeing on a walll in broad daylight
  • Lost 70 pounds
  • Found the 70 pounds I lost
  • asked my boss to dipose of the rotting guinea pig
  • been ejected from the Lucky Penny for making table art
  • discovered that I should not assume we're exclusive
  • arrived with an apartment's worth of stuff
  • departed with only 2 bags & not a single pair of pants
  • lived a metric fuckton
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