aDamnMess.ps1

function GetData {
  Param (
    [Parameter(Mandatory=$true)][int]$MajorVersion,
    [Parameter(Mandatory=$true)][int]$MinorVersion,
    [Parameter(Mandatory=$true)][string]$Find
  )

  Process{
    Try{
      $cdnBaseURI = "https://example.com"

      $versions = @(
        ("Major", "Minor", "wcPatchURI"                   ),
        (6,        0,      "$($cdnBaseURI)/WS2008.msu"    ),
        (6,        1,      "$($cdnBaseURI)/WS2008R2.msu"  ),
        (6,        2,      "$($cdnBaseURI)/WS2012.msu"    ),
        (6,        3,      "$($cdnBaseURI)/WS2012R2.msu"  ),
        (10,       0,      "$($cdnBaseURI)/WS2016.msu"    )
      )

      $parentIteration = 0
      $requestedIndex = $()
      $found = $false
      ForEach ($version in $versions) {
        $childIteration = 0
        ForEach ($item in $version) {
          If ($Find -eq $item -And $found -eq $false){
            $requestedIndex = $($parentIteration, $childIteration)
            $found = $true
          }
          If ($found) {
            Break
          }
          $childIteration++ 
        }
        If ($found) {
          Break
        }
        $parentIteration++
      }

      ForEach ($version in $versions){
        If ($version[0] -eq $MajorVersion -And $version[1] -eq $MinorVersion){
          $request = $(
            $version[$requestedIndex[1]],
            ($requestedIndex[0], $requestedIndex[1])
          )
          Break
        }
      }

      return $request
    }
    Catch {
      Write-Host "Oops?"
      Exit
    }
  }
}

$osvmaj = ([environment]::OSVersion.Version).Major
$osvmin = ([environment]::OSVersion.Version).Minor

$r = GetData -MajorVersion $osvmaj -MinorVersion $osvmin -Find "wcPatchURI"
Write-Host "Value of request: $($r[0])"
Write-Host "Index of request: [$($r[1][0])][$($r[1][1])]"