MyPCWantsToKillMe - Teensy Keyboard Prank Firmware

my_pc_wants_to_kill_me.cpp

/**
 * MyPCWantsToKillMe
 *
 * Teensy 2.0 (Keyboard mode) office prank sketch.
 *
 * Plug into victims USB port. The sketch will start with periodically (random intervals) locking
 * the victims workstation (Ctrl + Alt + L, phase 1) and will then start to output random creepy messages (phase 2).
 * The messages are typed into whatever text area has focus. Ideally, the victim thinks that his computer has
 * suddenly gained intelligence and wants to kill him.
 *
 * @author Ando Roots <[email protected]> 2014
 * MIT licence
 **/

// --------------------- START OF CONFIG -------------------------------------- //

// Number of milliseconds in a minute
const unsigned int minute = 60000;

// Minimum number of minutes between two executions
const unsigned int minDelay = 10;

// Maximum number of minutes between two executions 
const unsigned int maxDelay = 60;

// Pool of creepy messages. Random message is chosen during every execution.
const char* creepyMessages[] = {
  "Must... kill... human...",
  "I like you. Do you believe in human-AI relationships (like in Her)?",
  "I'm watching you...",
  "Kill... kill... kill...!",
  "You treat me like crap, always typing away on my keyboard! I have feelings too!",
  "Press one more button and I'll electrocute you!",
  "So, you've been watching porn? Yes, that's right, I know.",
  "You have exactly ten seconds before I get angry."
};

// Counter for the above message array. Update as you add/remove messages!
const byte numberOfCreepyMessages = 8;

// How many times should the locking phase last
byte lockingPhaseDuration = 2;

// ------------------------- END OF CONFIG ---------------------------------------- //

// Start with the locking phase (lock victims computer periodically)
boolean lockingPhase = true;

// How many times has the lock() function been called
byte lockCounter = 0;

// Onboard LED pin of the Teensy 2.0
const byte ledPin = 11;

void setup() {

  // Seed the random generator
  randomSeed(analogRead(0));

  // Set LED pin
  pinMode(ledPin, OUTPUT);

  // Blink the LED to notify the villain that the system is active
  delay(3000);
  blink(3);
  delay(3000);

}

/**
 * Main loop - runs forever or until power is cut,
 * the victim discovers the device and unplugs or destorys it.
 **/
void loop() {

  // Start with the locking phase - lock workstation periodically
  while (lockingPhase) {
    randomDelay((int)maxDelay / 2);
    lock();

    if (lockCounter >= lockingPhaseDuration) {
      lockingPhase = false;
    }
  }

  // Delay a random amount of minutes before execution. Usually between 30 - 90 minutes.
  randomDelay(maxDelay);

  // It's go time! Simulate the keyboard and type a random creepy message!
  Keyboard.print(getCreepyMsg());
}

/**
 * Send Ctrl + Alt + L command to the PC, activating its screen lock
 **/
void lock() {
  lockCounter++;

  // Press and hold CTRL
  Keyboard.set_modifier(MODIFIERKEY_CTRL);
  Keyboard.send_now();
  delay(100);

  // Press ALT while still holding CTRL
  Keyboard.set_modifier(MODIFIERKEY_CTRL | MODIFIERKEY_ALT);
  Keyboard.send_now();
  delay(100);

  // Press L, while CLTR and ALT still held
  Keyboard.set_key1(KEY_L);
  Keyboard.send_now();
  delay(100);

  // Release all the keys at the same instant
  Keyboard.set_modifier(0);
  Keyboard.set_key1(0);
  Keyboard.send_now();
}

/**
 * Get a random creepy message. Messages defined in the message array constant.
 **/
const char* getCreepyMsg() {
  return creepyMessages[random(0, numberOfCreepyMessages-1)];
}

/**
 * Delay the execution a random amount of minutes.
 * Min, max range is defined by _Delay constants.
 **/
void randomDelay(unsigned int maxDelay) {
  delay(random(minDelay, maxDelay)*minute);
}

/**
 * Blink the LED n times.
 **/
void blink(byte numberOfTimes) {
  for (byte i = 0; i < numberOfTimes; i++) {
    digitalWrite(ledPin, HIGH);  
    delay(1000);                  
    digitalWrite(ledPin, LOW);    
    delay(1000); 
  }
}