A Go script that extracts the "x minutes ago", "x hours ago", etc text from Miiverse clones like https://cedar.doctor/titles/1, then averages them out and sees the average seconds between each post. Might be broken if these sites are down or IPs are just dead.

closedverse-deadness.go

package main

import (
	// requests
	"github.com/valyala/fasthttp"

	// for spltting bytes
	"bytes"
	// for getting the things from the thing
	"regexp"

	// for errors
	"errors"
	"strconv"

	// count time
	"time"

	// printing in main()
	"fmt"
	// error fatal
	//"log"
)

// fasthttp vars stuff
var req = fasthttp.AcquireRequest()
var resp = fasthttp.AcquireResponse()

var client = &fasthttp.Client{}

// regex pattern
// this didn't work on ciiverse so we're making another one
//var pattern = regexp.MustCompile(`(?:"\/posts\/.*">)(.*ago+)(?:<)`)
// also didn't need the non capturing groups
var pattern = regexp.MustCompile(`"timestamp".*>(.*ago+)<`)

// lol []byte sorry
// Plain HTTP is prefered for, like. 0.0005% less overhead.
func GetApproxSecIntervalForPage(url string) (int, error) {
	req.SetRequestURI(url)
	err := client.Do(req, resp)
	if err != nil {
		return 0, err
	}
	if resp.StatusCode() != 200 {
		return 0, errors.New("http response code " + strconv.Itoa(resp.StatusCode()))
	}
	body := resp.Body()
	//fmt.Println(string(body))
	matches := pattern.FindAllSubmatch(body, -1)
	// empty int slice we will put our seconds into
	intSlice := []int{}
	for i, _ := range matches {
		// matches[i][1] is our matched thing, "30 minutes ago" etc
		// this would be "30 minutes"
		noAgo := bytes.Split(matches[i][1], []byte(" ago"))[0]
		// this is "minutes", EXCEPT
		unitThing := bytes.Split(noAgo, []byte(" "))
		// if it has more than 3 elements, then don't do this
		//fmt.Println(len(unitThing))
		if len(unitThing) < 3 {
			//fmt.Println("doing it")
			// THIS is "minutes"
			unit := unitThing[1]
			// and this is "30"
			numStr := string(unitThing[0])
			num, err := strconv.Atoi(numStr)
			if err != nil {
				unit = []byte{}
				//fmt.Println(err)
			}
			// second, secondS
			if num != 1 {
				unit = unit[:len(unit)-1]
			}
			seconds := 0
			//fmt.Println(string(unit))
			// can't compare bytes
			switch(string(unit)) {
				case "second":
					seconds = num
				case "minute":
					seconds = num * 60
				case "hour":
					seconds = num * 3600
				case "day":
					seconds = num * 86400
				default:
					seconds = 0
			}
			// append to int slice if the seconds is not 0, duh
			if seconds != 0 {
				intSlice = append(intSlice, seconds)
			}
		}
	}
	//fmt.Println(intSlice)
	// average it all
	total := 0
	for i, _ := range intSlice {
		total += intSlice[i]
	}
	// this prevents a division by 0 and a panic
	if total == 0 || len(intSlice) == 0 {
		return 0, errors.New("total is 0 or intSlice is 0")
	}
	avg := total / len(intSlice)
	return avg, nil
}

// This is just a thing here idk this could be ignored if this were an actual package
func main() {
	// set some headers for some sites
	// get a smaller PJAX version for closedverse and cedar servers
	req.Header.Add("X-PJAX", "1")
	// add nintendo user agent for closed.pizza, to use plain http
	req.Header.Add("User-Agent", "Nintendo")

	fmt.Println("getting thing for closedpizza")
	start := time.Now()
	point, err := GetApproxSecIntervalForPage("http://closed.pizza/communities/6")
	elapsed := time.Since(start)
	if err != nil {
		//log.Fatal("failed getting thing for closedpizza: ", err)
		fmt.Println("failed getting thing for closedpizza:", err)
	} else {
		fmt.Println(point, "(" + elapsed.String() + ")")
	}

	fmt.Println("getting thing for oanus")
	start = time.Now()
	point, err = GetApproxSecIntervalForPage("http://206.189.235.47/communities/1")
	elapsed = time.Since(start)
	if err != nil {
		//log.Fatal("failed getting thing for oanus: ", err)
		fmt.Println("failed getting thing for oanus:", err)
	} else {
		fmt.Println(point, "(" + elapsed.String() + ")")
	}

	// add cf-connecting-ip header for cedar, the others don't like this
	req.Header.Add("CF-Connecting-IP", "1")

	fmt.Println("getting thing for cedardoctor")
	start = time.Now()
	point, err = GetApproxSecIntervalForPage("http://167.99.10.132/titles/1")
	elapsed = time.Since(start)
	if err != nil {
		//log.Fatal("failed getting thing for cedardoctor: ", err)
		fmt.Println("failed getting thing for cedardoctor:", err)
	} else {
		fmt.Println(point, "(" + elapsed.String() + ")")
	}

	fmt.Println("getting thing for ciiverse")
	start = time.Now()
	point, err = GetApproxSecIntervalForPage("http://ciiverse.ga/communities/5")
	elapsed = time.Since(start)
	if err != nil {
		//log.Fatal("failed getting thing for ciiverse: ", err)
		fmt.Println("failed getting thing for ciiverse:", err)
	} else {
		fmt.Println(point, "(" + elapsed.String() + ")")
	}
}