atommclain · February 1, 2012 02:13 · Butzy · Apr 12, 2012 · atommclain · Apr 21, 2012
diff --git a/excel b/excel
 I made this function for my former girlfriend after she made the mistake of boasting to me about her Excel prowess.

 My goal was to make an incredibly large formula that would do something really cool and claim my rightful place as the head dork of the relationship (somewhat contested at the time). To make things interesting I put a few arbitrary constraints like limiting my self to one mongo formula, and as much as possible obscuring what it actually did.

 You can check it out by creating a new worksheet, adjusting all the column widths to 0.13" and all the row heights to 0.18". Paste 'the formula' into all the visible cells. Make sure you have some tissues handy as what you will be witnessing will bring you to nothing less than tears.

 =IF(MID((CONCATENATE(REPT("0",8)&HEX2BIN("1e",8)&HEX2BIN("28",8)&HEX2BIN("28",8)&HEX2BIN("1e",8)&REPT("0",16)&HEX2BIN("2c",8)&HEX2BIN("52",8)&HEX2BIN("2a",8)&HEX2BIN("4",8)&HEX2BIN("a",8)&REPT("0",16)&HEX2BIN("3e",8)&HEX2BIN("10",8)&HEX2BIN("8",8)&HEX2BIN("10",8)&HEX2BIN("3e",8)&REPT("0",8))),(8*(IF(MOD(COLUMN(),20)=0,20,MOD(COLUMN(),20)))-8)+IF(MOD(ROW(),8)=0,8,MOD(ROW(),8)),1)="0",IF(MOD(ROUNDUP(ROW()/8,0)+ROUNDUP(COLUMN()/20,0),2)=1,"","█"),IF(MOD(ROUNDUP(ROW()/8,0)+ROUNDUP(COLUMN()/20,0),2)=1,"█",""))
	I made this function for my former girlfriend after she made the mistake of boasting to me about her Excel prowess.

	My goal was to make an incredibly large formula that would do something really cool and claim my rightful place as the head dork of the relationship (somewhat contested at the time). To make things interesting I put a few arbitrary constraints like limiting my self to one mongo formula, and as much as possible obscuring what it actually did.

	You can check it out by creating a new worksheet, adjusting all the column widths to 0.13" and all the row heights to 0.18". Paste 'the formula' into all the visible cells. Make sure you have some tissues handy as what you will be witnessing will bring you to nothing less than tears.

	=IF(MID((CONCATENATE(REPT("0",8)&HEX2BIN("1e",8)&HEX2BIN("28",8)&HEX2BIN("28",8)&HEX2BIN("1e",8)&REPT("0",16)&HEX2BIN("2c",8)&HEX2BIN("52",8)&HEX2BIN("2a",8)&HEX2BIN("4",8)&HEX2BIN("a",8)&REPT("0",16)&HEX2BIN("3e",8)&HEX2BIN("10",8)&HEX2BIN("8",8)&HEX2BIN("10",8)&HEX2BIN("3e",8)&REPT("0",8))),(8*(IF(MOD(COLUMN(),20)=0,20,MOD(COLUMN(),20)))-8)+IF(MOD(ROW(),8)=0,8,MOD(ROW(),8)),1)="0",IF(MOD(ROUNDUP(ROW()/8,0)+ROUNDUP(COLUMN()/20,0),2)=1,"","█"),IF(MOD(ROUNDUP(ROW()/8,0)+ROUNDUP(COLUMN()/20,0),2)=1,"█",""))