Fuck Twitter's stupid date formatting in its goddamn ear. Worst idea ever.

gistfile1.cfm

<cffunction name="unfuckTwitterDateTime">
	<cfargument name="fucked" />
	<cfargument name="GMTOffset" default="0" />
	<cfset fucked = trim(fucked) />
	<cfset var d = right(fucked, 4) & '-' & monthAbrToNum(mid(fucked, 5, 3)) & '-' & mid(fucked, 9, 2) />
	<cfset var t = mid(fucked, 12, 8) />
	<cfreturn dateAdd("h", GMTOffset, ParseDateTime(d & ' ' & t)) />
</cffunction>

<cffunction name="monthAbrToNum">
	<cfargument name="mon" />
	<cfswitch expression="#lcase(mon)#">
		<cfcase value="jan">
			<cfreturn "01" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="feb">
			<cfreturn "02" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="mar">
			<cfreturn "03" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="apr">
			<cfreturn "04" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="may">
			<cfreturn "05" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="jun">
			<cfreturn "06" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="jul">
			<cfreturn "07" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="aug">
			<cfreturn "08" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="sep">
			<cfreturn "09" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="oct">
			<cfreturn "10" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="nov">
			<cfreturn "11" />
		</cfcase>
		<cfcase value="dec">
			<cfreturn "12" />
		</cfcase>
	</cfswitch>
</cffunction>

No need for the monthAbrToNum function...80% less code :)