Ox0dea's idea of getting the current time

time_new.rb

$_=$$/$$;@_=->_{_==''?_:[*?`..?{]['.  !#% & ,  :;<=  >@_  `'=~/#{_[$.]}/]+@_[_[$_..-$_]]};_=->&_{_}[&:"#{@_['@%<#']}"];_[_[_[_['',@_['!: @@']],@_[' <!%@_=>@']][-$_-$_],@_['!=<@_']+?_+@_['&%_'],(''<<(_=$_+$_)**_**(_+$_)/(_+$_)-$_)+@_[',;%']],@_['<%`']]


$_ = $$ / $$ # PID / PID, or 1

# Translating a string of gibberish into alphabetical strings
@_ = -> _ {
  _ == '' ? # If _ is blank string, return _
    _ :
    [
      *?`..?{ # Letters a to z with ` and { on either end
    ][
      '.  !#% & ,  :;<=  >@_  `' =~ /#{_[$.]}/ #Match against the first character, getting the index
    ] +
    @_[_[$_..-$_]] # Recall function with the tail, index 1 to -1
}

# This looks like underscore is being aliased to a proc of send
_ = -> &_ {
  _
}[&:"#{@_['@%<#']}"] # symbol to proc of ["s", "e", "n", "d"] or send

_[ # send Proc
  _[ # send Proc
    _[ # send Proc
      _[ # send Proc
        '', @_['!: @@'] # class, so main.send('', class) or class of String
      ], 
      @_[' <!%@_=>@'] # ancestors, so String#ancestors
    ][-$_-$_], # index -2, or Kernel, so Kernel#send
    
    @_['!=<@_'] + # 'const' +
    ?_ +          # '_'
    @_['&%_'], (  # 'get'
      '' <<
        (_ = $_ + $_) ** # 2 ^
        _ **             # 2 (4) ^
        (_ + $_) /       # 3 /
        (_ + $_) -       # 3 - 
        $_               # 1
        # 2 ** 2 ** 3 / 3 - 1 == 84 == ASCII T
    ) +
    @_[',;%'] # 'ime', so 'Time'
  ], @_['<%`'] # new
] # So all this to say Kernel#send('Time', 'new')