FISAbot is a bot for expedited processing of FISA warrant requests via Twitter. Not officially affiliated with the US Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court.

fisabot.js

var Twitter = require('node-twitter');

function getVerdict() {
    // http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Foreign_Intelligence_Surveillance_Court
    var caseNumber = Math.floor(Math.random() * 33942) + 1;
    if (caseNumber <= 11) { return 'Application denied. Please submit appeal to the Court of Review.'; }
    else if ((caseNumber > 11) && (caseNumber <= 504 + 515)) { return 'Please modify your request and resubmit.'; }
    else { return 'I authorize this request.'; } 
}


var searchTerms = ['@FISAbot','FISA court','FISA judge','FISA warrant']


var twitterRestClient = new Twitter.RestClient(
    'CONSUMER_KEY',
    'CONSUMER_SECRET',
    'TOKEN',
    'TOKEN_SECRET'
);
var twitterStreamClient = new Twitter.StreamClient(
    'CONSUMER_KEY',
    'CONSUMER_SECRET',
    'TOKEN',
    'TOKEN_SECRET'
);


twitterStreamClient.start(searchTerms);


function tweetReply(tweet) {

    twitterRestClient.statusesUpdate(
        {
            'in_reply_to_status_id': tweet.id_str,
            'status': '@' + tweet.user.screen_name + ': ' + getVerdict() + ' https://twitter.com/' + tweet.user.screen_name + '/status/' + tweet.id_str
        },
        function(error, result) {
            if (error) {
                console.log('Twitter Error: ' + (error.code ? error.code + ' ' + error.message : error.message));
                console.log(tweet);
                // put into queue to try again?
            }
        }
    );

}



twitterStreamClient.on('close', function() {
    console.log('Connection closed. Restarting.');
    twitterStreamClient.start(searchTerms);
});
twitterStreamClient.on('end', function() {
    console.log('End of Line. Restarting.');
    twitterStreamClient.start(searchTerms);
});
twitterStreamClient.on('error', function(error) {
    console.log('twitterStreamClient Error: ' + (error.code ? error.code + ' ' + error.message : error.message));
});

twitterStreamClient.on('tweet', function(tweet) {
    // console.log(tweet);
    var count = (tweet.text.match(/@/g) || []).length;
    // console.log('count ', count);
    // console.log('tweet.user.screen_name ', tweet.user.screen_name);
    if ( (count > 6) || (tweet.user.screen_name == 'FISAbot') ) { 
        // too many @'s. This looks like spam.
    } else {
        // console.log('tweet!');
        tweetReply(tweet);
    }
});