A simple case statement indicating when to ___ it like it's hot. You're welcome, world.

whenToDropIt.js

var situation = 'pigs';
var conditionEnd = ' like it\'s hot.';

switch (situation) {
    case 'pigs':
        alert('Park it' + conditionEnd);
        break;
    case 'pimps':
        alert('Drop it' + conditionEnd);
        break;
    case 'ngAttitude':
        alert('Pop it' + conditionEnd);
        break;
    default:
        alert('I got the rolly on my arm and I\'m pouring Chandon.');
        break;
}