benmathes · February 28, 2013 22:06
diff --git a/bye_bye_battletoads b/bye_bye_battletoads
 Full text of his statement:

 (This is for Groupon employees, but I’m posting it publicly since it will leak anyway)
 People of Groupon,

 After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d 
 like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today. If you’re wondering
 why… you haven’t been paying attention. From controversial metrics in our S1 to our material
 weakness to two quarters of missing our own expectations and a stock price that’s hovering
 around one quarter of our listing price, the events of the last year and a half speak for 
 themselves. As CEO, I am accountable.

 You are doing amazing things at Groupon, and you deserve the outside world to give you a 
 second chance. I’m getting in the way of that. A fresh CEO earns you that chance. The board
 is aligned behind the strategy we’ve shared over the last few months, and I’ve never seen
 you working together more effectively as a global company – it’s time to give Groupon a 
 relief valve from the public noise.

 For those who are concerned about me, please don’t be – I love Groupon, and I’m terribly 
 proud of what we’ve created. I’m OK with having failed at this part of the journey. If 
 Groupon was Battletoads, it would be like I made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without
 dying on my first ever play through. I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to take 
 the company this far with all of you. I’ll now take some time to decompress (FYI I’m looking
 for a good fat camp to lose my Groupon 40, if anyone has a suggestion), and then maybe I’ll
 figure out how to channel this experience into something productive.

 If there’s one piece of wisdom that this simple pilgrim would like to impart upon you: have
 the courage to start with the customer. My biggest regrets are the moments that I let a lack
 of data override my intuition on what’s best for our customers. This leadership change gives
 you some breathing room to break bad habits and deliver sustainable customer happiness – don’t
 waste the opportunity!

 I will miss you terribly.

 Love,
 Andrew
	Full text of his statement:

	(This is for Groupon employees, but I’m posting it publicly since it will leak anyway)
	People of Groupon,

	After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d
	like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today. If you’re wondering
	why… you haven’t been paying attention. From controversial metrics in our S1 to our material
	weakness to two quarters of missing our own expectations and a stock price that’s hovering
	around one quarter of our listing price, the events of the last year and a half speak for
	themselves. As CEO, I am accountable.

	You are doing amazing things at Groupon, and you deserve the outside world to give you a
	second chance. I’m getting in the way of that. A fresh CEO earns you that chance. The board
	is aligned behind the strategy we’ve shared over the last few months, and I’ve never seen
	you working together more effectively as a global company – it’s time to give Groupon a
	relief valve from the public noise.

	For those who are concerned about me, please don’t be – I love Groupon, and I’m terribly
	proud of what we’ve created. I’m OK with having failed at this part of the journey. If
	Groupon was Battletoads, it would be like I made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without
	dying on my first ever play through. I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to take
	the company this far with all of you. I’ll now take some time to decompress (FYI I’m looking
	for a good fat camp to lose my Groupon 40, if anyone has a suggestion), and then maybe I’ll
	figure out how to channel this experience into something productive.

	If there’s one piece of wisdom that this simple pilgrim would like to impart upon you: have
	the courage to start with the customer. My biggest regrets are the moments that I let a lack
	of data override my intuition on what’s best for our customers. This leadership change gives
	you some breathing room to break bad habits and deliver sustainable customer happiness – don’t
	waste the opportunity!

	I will miss you terribly.

	Love,
	Andrew