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1 | |
00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:07,750 | |
[Cool Cat] Wow! Look at this cool urban feel! | |
This is how I wanna start my music video! | |
2 | |
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:15,280 | |
[Death Grips] To get all of the above in a | |
limited amount of time, I can do this and | |
3 | |
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it's done, Like that we're on our way, Be | |
it acid on the tongue, Cocaine in your brain, | |
4 | |
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Or some weed that hits your lungs, Like a | |
runaway train, Hell yeah, from DMT to MDMA, | |
5 | |
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Got all that shit and more, So 'til dawn we're | |
okay, but anyway | |
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[Cool Cat] Wow! That was fun! I hope the kids | |
love it! | |
7 | |
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[Mama Cat] I bet the kids will boogee to that | |
song! | |
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[Derek] Hey, it was cool, Cool Cat. | |
[Cool Cat] I didn't know you guys were standing | |
9 | |
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there! And thanks! *laughs* | |
[Mama Cat] And you'd better get ready, Cool | |
10 | |
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Cat, it's almost time for the Hollywood Parade! | |
[Cool Cat] That's right! It is time to pick | |
11 | |
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up the Cool Cat convertible! Yeeeyyeyeyeeeeyay! | |
[Derek] Have fun, son, all right! | |
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1 | |
00:00:00,789 --> 00:00:04,910 | |
[YMS] So I just saw Mad Max: Fury Road and | |
it was a lot of fun. If I were rating this | |
2 | |
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movie based on how much fun I had I'd be giving | |
it a nine out of ten. But alas, I rate movies | |
3 | |
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:12,889 | |
based on what I feel the quality of the film | |
is, so no I'm not docking points because I | |
4 | |
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had fun watching it, I just genuinely feel | |
as though the movie's a fun seven out of ten. | |
5 | |
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There were a lot of aspects of the film that | |
were genuinely impressive, the cinematography | |
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was pretty great, the computer generated imagery | |
was used sparingly, there were some parts | |
7 | |
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that didn't feel visually quite real but for | |
the most part it wasn't enough to take anybody | |
8 | |
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out of the movie, and most of all it was just | |
fucking fun! It was like if Death Race 3 wasn't | |
9 | |
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a massive piece of shit. I'm not going to | |
complain that there wasn't really much to | |
10 | |
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the story, because anybody can tell that the | |
movie wasn't really trying to be heavily story | |
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driven. In all honesty if a movie is going | |
for the cool and fun factor I'd rather have | |
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it be like this one where it doesn't spend | |
an eternity dicking around in between the | |
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cool and fun scenes. In Mad Max: Fury Road | |
the story was just enough so that the cool | |
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and fun scenes didn't feel stupid and pointless. | |
I like how over-the-top and ridiculous it | |
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was and I wouldn't want the movie to be any | |
other way. In fact I hope the next movie goes | |
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even further. Believe it or not I was reminded | |
of Army of Darkness during the fight scene | |
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with the chain and the struggle for the gun. | |
There are a few things that irked me about | |
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the presentation of the movie but they were | |
fairly minimal. There were a few of those | |
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family flashback hallucination shots that | |
were a little cheesy, and yeah I know we're | |
20 | |
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talking about the same movie where there's | |
a dude on top of the car playing electric | |
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guitar riding to his fucking death, but I | |
think it's important to differentiate between | |
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cheese during something fun and cool, and | |
cheese during something that's supposed to | |
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be dramatic and serious; as someone that does | |
a lot of editing there were a few things that | |
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were distracting and took me out of the film | |
for a bit. When slow footage is sped up to | |
25 | |
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make it look fast some people just see slow | |
footage sped up to make it look fast. Trust | |
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me it happens more times in this movie than | |
you think. During some of the dialogue, characters | |
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were basically whispering to each other, but | |
they're inside a giant moving vehicle, and | |
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there's no shortage of earblasting engine | |
sounds during scenes where we see the exterior | |
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of the vehicles, but during the serious talk | |
time in the vehicles the volume of the engine | |
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is turned down so low in post that literally | |
that's all I can think about anymore: | |
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[Clip] I was born there. | |
[Clip] Why'd you leave? | |
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[Clip] I didn't. I was taken as a child. Stolen. | |
[YMS] It doesn't destroy the movie, all I'm | |
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saying is that when something's in the environment | |
that's so unironically unnatural, it is a | |
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little distracting. And keeping consistant | |
with what I said earlier, remember that these | |
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serious talk scenes are supposed to be serious, | |
meaning that distractions like those wouldn't | |
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be as much of an issue if they were during | |
the cool and fun scenes. I had the exact same | |
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issue in any movie where the characters are | |
in a supposedly loud club but they don't have | |
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to talk over the music. The worst example | |
I can think of would be from an indie movie | |
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called A Midsummer Night's Rave: | |
[Clip] I know how thirsty aspiring DJ's can | |
40 | |
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get. | |
[Clip] Thank you [inaudible] | |
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[YMS] The best example I could think of would | |
be from David Fincher's The Social Network: | |
42 | |
00:02:58,359 --> 00:03:00,169 | |
[Clip] You ever think about that girl? | |
[Clip] What girl? | |
43 | |
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[Clip] The girl from high school who was with | |
the lacrosse thing. | |
44 | |
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[Clip] No. | |
[YMS] When a director has that much forethought to | |
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get the actors to shout in a silent room before the audio | |
is added in in post production, it impresses | |
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me enough to be giving the movie extra points. | |
And remember that a perfect ten rating is | |
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not a default that only goes lower if you | |
find issues with the movie, a default rating | |
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for me is five out of ten and then any achievements | |
that a film has to offer bring it higher. | |
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And I've gotta say I was impressed by what | |
the film had to offer. Having seen the first | |
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two Mad Max a long time ago, this one was | |
a lot more entertaining. If there's one thing | |
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I remember about those older ones, it's that | |
they had a much slower pace. That and the | |
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villains were comically homosexual. Should | |
society get enraged over the sexual orientation | |
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or gender of the villains or heroes? No. I | |
honestly wish I could have watched Mad Max: | |
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Fury Road without all of those clickbait websites | |
making a big fuss over the character's genders, | |
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because to me this movie had nothing to do | |
with gender issues at all. You could have | |
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swapped the genders of literally every character | |
except the pregnant one and I wouldn't have | |
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felt any different about the movie. Having | |
a specific gender or sexual orientation being | |
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portrayed in a positive or negative light | |
in a film might affect me more if it was, | |
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hm, I don't know, not set in a post-apocalyptic | |
fantasy world where everyone including the | |
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main character has lost their fucking minds? | |
A group of men or a group of women or a group | |
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of gay people should not be taken as an accurate | |
reflection of society. They're just these | |
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things called "characters", and while it is | |
possible that George Miller wrote this screenplay | |
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with the explicit intent of painting certain | |
genders in certain lights, at no point did | |
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it feel forced and out of place. Why don't | |
we just view people as human beings again? | |
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Oh right, it's because anger sells and the | |
one way to get everybody arguing at each other | |
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over something is to turn it into a gender | |
issue, I forgot. And yes the clickbait websites | |
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are just as guilty as the idiot they were | |
quoting, who by the way never actually saw | |
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the movie before writing it. You realise you | |
can find people saying stupid shit about anything | |
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on the Internet, and that by putting them | |
on a pedestal you're essentially generating | |
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the controversy yourselves? Doesn't matter, | |
money. Gender debates are the new big thing | |
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right now, so we'll jump on literally any | |
opportunity to get you fired up about them | |
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so you'll share the link and give us money. | |
When I have criticisms to make about a film, | |
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I try to keep my criticisms in line with filmmaking | |
and presentation. Have we forgotten how to | |
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do that? Anyway, forgive me for making that | |
last part of my review moreso a review on | |
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other peoples' reviews; overall I really liked | |
Mad Max. I think that seven out of ten is | |
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a reasonable rating to give it. Who knows, | |
I might even bump it up to an eight the next | |
77 | |
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time I see it. If you watched the trailer | |
and think that looks like a lot of fun, then you'll | |
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probably have a lot of fun. It was a lot of | |
fun. It was like an amusement park ride. It | |
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was like riding the fun coaster in fun land. | |
It was a hot fun sundae. Fun fun, fun fun | |
80 | |
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fun fun fun. It was fun. Mad Max: Fun Road: | |
fun out of ten. Fun fun fun, fun fun! Fun | |
81 | |
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fun fun fun fun. Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! | |
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! | |
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Subtitles by Steven Smith (blha303/suudo) | |
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mark ;_; | |
84 | |
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wtf laugh | |
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1 | |
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[YMS] Okay, fun's over. So if you're one of those | |
people like me who saw the trailer and thought | |
2 | |
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"Hm, that's weird, it kinda looks like a piece | |
of shit" but still wanted to see the movie | |
3 | |
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:11,280 | |
just because it's Darren Aronofsky, all the | |
while hoping the trailer was just a way to | |
4 | |
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,589 | |
trick the religious crowd into seeing the | |
movie, and that secretly there was a movie | |
5 | |
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worth watching that wasn't the same garbage | |
you've already seen a million times before, | |
6 | |
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well, wonder no more because the movie was | |
slightly worse than the trailer. I mean, you're | |
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already working with a flawed story to begin | |
with; what happened to the kangaroos? Where | |
8 | |
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do black people come from? And despite them | |
making a lot of changes to the original story, | |
9 | |
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it didn't really do them any good. Like, why | |
is the grandfather a wizard? Anthony Hopkins | |
10 | |
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had magical powers and I had first assumed | |
that they were kinda like God powers, like | |
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God loves him so much that every time he really | |
wants to do something God's just allowing | |
12 | |
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it and just doing a little magic trick for | |
him. At one point he puts a child to sleep | |
13 | |
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by blowing on his face, possibly the funniest | |
point in the whole movie, then later he touches | |
14 | |
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Emma Watson's previously infertile belly, | |
making her instantly able to have children | |
15 | |
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and also extremely horny. Like she was in | |
the middle of looking for somebody but she | |
16 | |
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completely fucking dropped that and decided | |
to have sex with her boyfriend, and then later | |
17 | |
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in the movie when Noah finds out he gets super | |
fucking pissed. No, not because they had sex, | |
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but because she is no longer infertile. He's | |
like "God made you infertile, so now that | |
19 | |
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you're fertile, then you're going against | |
God." I don't really feel bad about spoiling | |
20 | |
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this movie cos it's a giant piece of shit, | |
but here's my spoiler alert anyway. Giving | |
21 | |
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you like two more seconds, go, God. He gets | |
so pissed off that she's having children that | |
22 | |
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he vows to murder the child as soon as it's | |
born, but only if it's a girl, and they really | |
23 | |
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really did not do a good job of explaining | |
why that's the case. "You're going against | |
24 | |
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God by having children because you were previously | |
infertile, now I gotta murder your child, | |
25 | |
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but if it's a boy I don't really care." So | |
does that mean the grandfather's a wizard | |
26 | |
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whose magic operates completely independent | |
of God? Because there's no way that he could | |
27 | |
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possibly believe that it was against God's | |
will if God was the one doing the magic from | |
28 | |
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grandfather anyway. This movie does not make | |
any fucking sense. There were a couple things | |
29 | |
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that I did enjoy about the movie. There are | |
some really cool timelapse scenes that I enjoyed, | |
30 | |
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and during one of them Clint Mansell did a | |
fantastic job with the score, but this movie | |
31 | |
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:08,030 | |
has way too much weighing it down. Like, during | |
the last timelapse scene in the movie for | |
32 | |
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:13,049 | |
whatever reason it decided to show evolution, | |
like it showed the typical fish-to-lizard-out-of-the-ocean | |
33 | |
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etcetera, and then as soon as it hit primates | |
it just stopped. Like, sorry we're not allowed | |
34 | |
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:20,749 | |
to show you any further. And that scene served | |
no purpose so I have no clue why he decided | |
35 | |
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to put that in the movie, because aren't you | |
then alienating the people that might actually | |
36 | |
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enjoy the movie? Like who the fuck is this | |
movie even for? They also included giant rock | |
37 | |
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creatures that helped Noah build the ark. | |
Oookay. Most of the conflict in the movie | |
38 | |
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was not only extremely forced but easily preventable. | |
Like all of a sudden somebody's angry and | |
39 | |
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it's really difficult to understand why. Not | |
only that but the threat of the main villain | |
40 | |
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and his army wouldn't even fucking exist if | |
Noah flat-out just didn't fucking tell him | |
41 | |
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that the flood was going to happen. The guy | |
thought you were building a fortress and you | |
42 | |
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told him "No, it's a boat, this is the flood | |
and I'm gonna be the one that lives and not | |
43 | |
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you, nyah nyah." Hey Noah you fucking hypocrite, | |
what's that you're flipping your shit over, | |
44 | |
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doing shit against God's will, oh my god, | |
God didn't intend that. So Emma Watson's not | |
45 | |
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allowed to use the grandfather wizard powers | |
so she can become fertile and have children, | |
46 | |
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and maybe y'know repopulate the entire fucking | |
planet through incest like you're supposed | |
47 | |
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to, but you see no issue with warning the | |
head honcho of bad guys that there's going | |
48 | |
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to be a fucking great flood? Did God tell you to do | |
that? Cos God had the opportunity to tell | |
49 | |
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him too and you know what, he fucking didn't. | |
How the fuck did the bad guy get in the ship? | |
50 | |
00:03:20,779 --> 00:03:24,439 | |
Like there was just a quick shot of him falling | |
into it but I don't know where the fuck that | |
51 | |
00:03:24,439 --> 00:03:29,219 | |
was. So you've got Mr Stereotype Bad Guy on | |
the ship and Noah's son helps him survive, | |
52 | |
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and they're still on the ship about nine months | |
later, because Emma Watson winds up giving | |
53 | |
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birth on the ship before the end of it, and | |
holy shit she does not act like the baby weighs | |
54 | |
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anything at all. Seriously it's like she had | |
a fucking balloon under her shirt. So the | |
55 | |
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bad guy picks a really convenient day to strike, | |
they have a shitty close shot fight scene, | |
56 | |
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and this whole time this guy's like "I'm not | |
afraid of miracles, haha, fuck you God," like | |
57 | |
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clearly this guy does not understand how miracles | |
work; and wow, the boat conveniently crashes | |
58 | |
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in a way that turns out to be in Noah's favour. | |
Thanks for the miracle, God. I mean it would | |
59 | |
00:03:57,489 --> 00:04:01,180 | |
have been extremely easy for him to die when | |
he was climbing into the boat in the first | |
60 | |
00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:05,040 | |
place, but let's just pretend that this God | |
character not only rigs the outcome, but is | |
61 | |
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:10,219 | |
also extremely concerned about making a stereotypical | |
narrative. Like why would I kill him when | |
62 | |
00:04:10,219 --> 00:04:13,919 | |
it makes the most sense if they don't get | |
to have a fight scene by the end of it? There | |
63 | |
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:17,920 | |
was nothing exceptional about this movie and | |
quite a lot of it was pretty fucking bad. | |
64 | |
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:22,110 | |
Like holy shit those font choices were terrible. | |
It's like if someone did a low-budget parody | |
65 | |
00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:26,710 | |
of Lord of the Rings. All of the CG was pretty | |
fucking unconvincing; like yeah obviously | |
66 | |
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:30,650 | |
all of the animals are going to be CG, but | |
why did you feel the need to computer animate | |
67 | |
00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:35,010 | |
the fucking baby? "Oh no, I feel so scared | |
for this computer animated baby right now." | |
68 | |
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:38,230 | |
Literally he goes up to her to kill it and | |
then he's like "Changed my mind, it's cute." | |
69 | |
00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:42,090 | |
And then later Emma Watson's talking about | |
it nonchalantly like "You know what, God trusted | |
70 | |
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:46,350 | |
you with the choice to do it, and it wasn't | |
something that he expected you to do, he just | |
71 | |
00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:49,470 | |
wanted you to make the choice." Well that's | |
a nice way to put it, maybe you should have | |
72 | |
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:53,560 | |
had this conversation with him at some point | |
in the nine fucking months before your child | |
73 | |
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,610 | |
was born. And there's a scene near the beginning | |
when Noah's talking to the rock dude, it keeps | |
74 | |
00:04:57,610 --> 00:05:01,340 | |
cutting back and forth from the rock dude's | |
face to Noah's, but every time it cuts back | |
75 | |
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:05,650 | |
to Noah it's closer to his face, but instead | |
of putting the camera closer or even using | |
76 | |
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:09,830 | |
the zoom on the lens, they decided to go the | |
easy way and just use fucking digital post | |
77 | |
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:13,590 | |
production zoom. Like they seriously fucking | |
cropped it. And each time it cuts back to | |
78 | |
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:17,500 | |
his face you see more and more pixels. Like | |
what the fuck, aren't you supposed to be a | |
79 | |
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:21,130 | |
professional? Well it was at least exciting | |
to see the outcome of what this movie would | |
80 | |
00:05:21,130 --> 00:05:24,860 | |
be, but about five minutes into the movie | |
when I was absolutely sure, all of a sudden | |
81 | |
00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:29,370 | |
the idea of finishing the movie seemed like | |
kind of a chore, and a chore it was. Yes, | |
82 | |
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:33,130 | |
parts of the movie were so bad that they were | |
hilarious, Anthony Hopkins putting that kid | |
83 | |
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:36,860 | |
to sleep by blowing on his face will be funny | |
to me for quite some time, but it's just not | |
84 | |
00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:40,580 | |
worth it to sit through the whole movie just | |
to laugh at a couple points. The majority | |
85 | |
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:43,670 | |
of the dialogue could have been replaced by | |
random gibberish and it would have had just | |
86 | |
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:47,970 | |
as much purpose in the film. For whatever | |
reason Aronofsky just decided to make a really | |
87 | |
00:05:47,970 --> 00:05:52,070 | |
shitty movie, and sadly it's probably going | |
to be his most financially successful movie | |
88 | |
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:55,800 | |
yet. Anyway, if you trust me on anything, | |
trust me when I say you do not need to see | |
89 | |
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,420 | |
this movie. This one's getting a five out | |
of ten. | |
90 | |
00:05:58,420 --> 00:06:13,340 | |
Subtitles by Steven Smith (blha303/suudo) | |
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1 | |
00:00:00,190 --> 00:00:03,760 | |
[YMS] Hey guys, some of you may have already | |
noticed NotProductive is postponed until November | |
2 | |
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,859 | |
10th, however I said my review would be available | |
for you guys to watch on November 2nd, so | |
3 | |
00:00:07,859 --> 00:00:12,009 | |
what am I doing? I'm saying fuck the release | |
date, you guys can watch the review on November | |
4 | |
00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:17,610 | |
2nd anyway because I fucking care. So click | |
the link down below, click the link on my | |
5 | |
00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:21,720 | |
face, click the link wherever you want. Spread | |
the word, share it if you like it, yada yada. | |
6 | |
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,900 | |
And believe me, I know some of you have your | |
reservations about me being on the whole | |
7 | |
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:30,260 | |
NotProductive site to begin with, and some of you think | |
it's doomed to fail, and if it does fail so | |
8 | |
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:34,199 | |
what, I'll still be making reviews. The upside | |
to me being on the site is that I'll try to | |
9 | |
00:00:34,199 --> 00:00:38,769 | |
be having a more consistant schedule by doing | |
it biweekly, so in two weeks time from now | |
10 | |
00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:44,699 | |
part 2 will be available on NotProductive | |
and *Skype alert sound* part 1 will be available | |
11 | |
00:00:44,699 --> 00:00:48,149 | |
on Youtube. That was my Skype, not yours, | |
don't even check. So if you guys like the | |
12 | |
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:52,260 | |
idea of me releasing frequent content and | |
if you like the idea of me being able to put | |
13 | |
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:56,870 | |
more time towards my content, and hopefully, | |
y'know, run some ads on it through Blip TV | |
14 | |
00:00:56,870 --> 00:01:01,620 | |
because Youtube won't let me (thanks Youtube,) | |
then try your darndest to make this successful, | |
15 | |
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:05,390 | |
if only for me, and if you don't like anything | |
else on the site then just watch my videos | |
16 | |
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:08,400 | |
there. But I do encourage you to check out | |
some of the other content creators on the | |
17 | |
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,300 | |
website once it's up, maybe you'll like something. | |
Remember, if you're helping this website then | |
18 | |
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:17,550 | |
you're helping me. If it is a success, then | |
maybe I can put a dent in these fucking hospital | |
19 | |
00:01:17,550 --> 00:01:21,190 | |
bills that turned out to be much more expensive | |
than I originally thought. | |
20 | |
00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:24,330 | |
(sarcastic) USA! USA! | |
(normal) Anyway, I love you guys, thank you | |
21 | |
00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:28,000 | |
for being so patient with me on this, I've | |
been having to be patient too, and I hope | |
22 | |
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,060 | |
you enjoy part 1 of this almost an hour long | |
review, it took me a very long time to make | |
23 | |
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,039 | |
and I hope you like it. | |
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