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@busti
Created November 4, 2019 22:39
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The Heavy is Dead
alias "thid_cycle" "thid_cycle_0"
alias "thid_cycle_0" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_1; say Heavy: Ya-da-da-da-da-da- It is good day to be not dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_1" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_2; say Engineer: POW! You are dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_2" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_3; say Heavy: I am dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_3" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_4; say Engineer: Chuckling, while spy is doing the conga towards the scene (The Engineer says aw, shucks” as the Spy gets close.)"
alias "thid_cycle_4" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_5; say Spy: Oh! The Heavy is dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_5" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_6; say Heavy: Yes (Sandwich). I am dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_6" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_7; say Spy: Why is the Heavy dead?!"
alias "thid_cycle_7" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_8; say Engineer: I dunno."
alias "thid_cycle_8" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_9; say Heavy: I think it was-"
alias "thid_cycle_9" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_10; say Engineer & Spy: Shhh, you are dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_10" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_11; say Heavy: Ok."
alias "thid_cycle_11" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_12; say (Sniper enters scene exiting van)"
alias "thid_cycle_12" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_13; say Sniper: What's up, you wankers?! Who’s up for a- AH! What the- bloody hell just happened?!"
alias "thid_cycle_13" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_14; say Engineer & Spy: The Heavy is dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_14" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_15; say (A, B, C, or D game starts)"
alias "thid_cycle_15" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_16; say Sniper: The Heavy is dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_16" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_17; say Spy: Correct!"
alias "thid_cycle_17" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_18; say (Option C lights up and celebration music starts playing)"
alias "thid_cycle_18" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_19; say Spy: So, did you see the murderer?"
alias "thid_cycle_19" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_20; say Engineer and Sniper: Nah, sorry mate."
alias "thid_cycle_20" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_21; say Spy: Slams hand on desk I will find him, I will capture him, and no one will ever die again!"
alias "thid_cycle_21" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_22; say (Engineer and Sniper applause)"
alias "thid_cycle_22" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_23; say Sniper: Ah, well that's nice."
alias "thid_cycle_23" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_24; say Engineer: I am damn proud right now."
alias "thid_cycle_24" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_25; say (Soldier appears in scene)"
alias "thid_cycle_25" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_26; say Soldier: Atteeeeeeeeention!"
alias "thid_cycle_26" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_27; say (Soldier rushes to dead Heavy)"
alias "thid_cycle_27" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_28; say Soldier: That Heavy is dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_28" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_29; say Spy: We know!"
alias "thid_cycle_29" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_30; say Soldier: Who killed him?!"
alias "thid_cycle_30" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_31; say Spy: We don’t know!"
alias "thid_cycle_31" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_32; say Soldier: I will find clues!"
alias "thid_cycle_32" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_33; say (Soldier searches through pile of stuff while sniffing)"
alias "thid_cycle_33" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_34; say Soldier: What's that? Grabs gun A weapon?! That thing is why the Heavy is dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_34" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_35; say Engineer, Sniper, and Spy: The Heavy is dead?!"
alias "thid_cycle_35" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_36; say Soldier: Slams hands on desk Yes, (Intense background appears) he died!"
alias "thid_cycle_36" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_37; say Engineer, Sniper, and Spy: All shocked"
alias "thid_cycle_37" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_38; say (Intense background stops, showing the Engineer, Sniper, and Spy standing in front of a green screen)"
alias "thid_cycle_38" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_39; say Medic: (From far away) Incoming!"
alias "thid_cycle_39" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_40; say (Ambulance crashes Soldier into a building wall, killing him.)"
alias "thid_cycle_40" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_41; say Medic: Exits out of Ambulance Raus, raus! Pushes Engineer, Sniper, and Spy away from Heavy Move now! Kisses Heavy on head"
alias "thid_cycle_41" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_42; say (Heavenly music sounds while the light focuses on Heavy)"
alias "thid_cycle_42" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_43; say Heavy: (Rising in air) Hohoho, Hea- Explodes Oof."
alias "thid_cycle_43" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_44; say Medic: In my medical opinion, that Heavy is dead!"
alias "thid_cycle_44" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_45; say (Camera rotates to Sniper)"
alias "thid_cycle_45" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_46; say Sniper: Doc, what happened?"
alias "thid_cycle_46" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_47; say Medic: My professional opinion? Slams hands on desk then turns to the right (Intense background comes in) The Heavy was killed!"
alias "thid_cycle_47" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_48; say (Intense background stops)"
alias "thid_cycle_48" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_49; say Engineer, Sniper, and Spy: Panicking"
alias "thid_cycle_49" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_50; say Medic: I don’t think it’s anything to worry about."
alias "thid_cycle_50" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_51; say Spy: Well, now what?"
alias "thid_cycle_51" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_52; say (Scout entering while doing the conga in the background)"
alias "thid_cycle_52" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_53; say Scout: Clipidy clop mother****er! Boom!"
alias "thid_cycle_53" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_54; say Spy: Says “Oh, come on.” before Scout says boom"
alias "thid_cycle_54" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_55; say Scout: Look at this! The freaking Heavy is dead! Pause What do you think of that? Pause Ahm…"
alias "thid_cycle_55" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_56; say Spy: Yes, yes, Scout."
alias "thid_cycle_56" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_57; say Scout: Yea?"
alias "thid_cycle_57" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_58; say Spy: Go home!"
alias "thid_cycle_58" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_59; say (Scout’s mother appears in a car telling Scout to get in)"
alias "thid_cycle_59" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_60; say Scout: Ah come on! Pffff! Freaking unbelievable seriously, you all suck."
alias "thid_cycle_60" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_61; say (Car drives off and crashing noise is heard)"
alias "thid_cycle_61" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_62; say Scout: Screams of pain"
alias "thid_cycle_62" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_63; say Spy: Ok, let’s get back to the point."
alias "thid_cycle_63" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_64; say Heavy: Poking at his dead body I think Heavy is dead."
alias "thid_cycle_64" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_65; say Engineer, Sniper, Spy, and Medic: The Heavy is dead?!"
alias "thid_cycle_65" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_66; say Medic: Turns around and notices dead scout in burning car Scout! I will heal you- Car explodes and camera goes back to Heavy"
alias "thid_cycle_66" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_67; say Heavy: Oh, Seriously?! Who killed Heavy?!"
alias "thid_cycle_67" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_68; say (Camera shows on Demoman drinking Scrumpy)"
alias "thid_cycle_68" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_69; say Demoman: Slurp Slurp It was me!"
alias "thid_cycle_69" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_70; say Engineer, Sniper, Spy, and Heavy: Shocked"
alias "thid_cycle_70" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_71; say Demoman: Yes! Bottle of Scrumpy slides up Demoman’s body and Demoman eats the bottle I did it like this: Takes out a revolver and shoots Sniper in chest Boom! Demoman flies off from force of revolver blast"
alias "thid_cycle_71" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_72; say Sniper: Screams of pain"
alias "thid_cycle_72" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_73; say Demoman: Woop dee doo!"
alias "thid_cycle_73" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_74; say Engineer, Spy, and Heavy: Are terrified seeing Sniper’s dead body"
alias "thid_cycle_74" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_75; say Demoman: Burps That’s a joke, lads."
alias "thid_cycle_75" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_76; say Engineer, Spy, and Heavy: Starts laughing like crazy"
alias "thid_cycle_76" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_77; say Demoman: Slurp Slurp Burp It was… yo-... Burp Points at Engineer Him!"
alias "thid_cycle_77" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_78; say Engineer: Shocked How did you know?!"
alias "thid_cycle_78" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_79; say Demoman: I didn’t. Burps That was a joke too."
alias "thid_cycle_79" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_80; say (Camera moves to Engineer, as the Demoman keeps drinking faster)"
alias "thid_cycle_80" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_81; say Demoman: Falls on ground Oh, I’m dead."
alias "thid_cycle_81" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_82; say Engineer: Manic laughter That’s right! It was me!"
alias "thid_cycle_82" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_83; say Spy: You monster!"
alias "thid_cycle_83" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_84; say Heavy: But whyyyyy?"
alias "thid_cycle_84" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_85; say Engineer: Cause you’re fat, boy. And another thing, you’re ugly."
alias "thid_cycle_85" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_86; say Heavy: Engineer, stop!"
alias "thid_cycle_86" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_87; say Engineer and Heavy: Arguing"
alias "thid_cycle_87" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_88; say Spy: Shrugs (Text appears saying : IT’S TRADITION)"
alias "thid_cycle_88" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_89; say Engineer: Ah dammit Heavy **** off! You are dead."
alias "thid_cycle_89" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_90; say Heavy: No u, POW! Haha."
alias "thid_cycle_90" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_91; say (Engineer falls dead on floor)"
alias "thid_cycle_91" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_92; say Heavy: You are dead! Not big surprise."
alias "thid_cycle_92" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_93; say Spy: Well that was idiotic. Off to hang myself! Spy doing flip on noose Watch and lea- Choking noises"
alias "thid_cycle_93" "alias thid_cycle thid_cycle_0; say Heavy: I am alive! Is nice. Yes, this is stupid."
bind "kp_del" "thid_cycle"
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