My Inaugural Picaro Game Jam entry

tanstaafl

---
gameName: TANSTAAFL
gameDescription: ...or is there?
version: "1"
events:
- id: honeyOnTheCatHair
  type: replaceItems
  items:
  - honey
  - catHair
  newItem:
    id: mustache
    name: Mustache
    take: true
    look: A magnificent mustache.
  message: Honey on the cat hair makes a mustache!
- id: loseWalletIntoTheAether
  type: removeItem
  item: wallet
  message:
    You feel a lightness in your back pocket. Your wallet seems to
    have disappeared.
- id: collectCatHair
  type: updateAttribute
  item: catHair
  attribute: description
  newValue:
    A collected ball of cat hair. It's gross that this is even a thing 
      that exists within the realm of things you pay attention to.
- id: thereIsSuchAThingAsAFreeLunch
  type: instantVictory
  message: You won a free lunch! And nothing wrong ever happened again.
actionGuards:
- id: doesntHaveWallet
  type: itemNotInInventory
  item: wallet
  failMessage:
    You still have your wallet. You're willing to do a lot of shady
    things to not pay for lunch, but for arbitrary reasons that are
    unclear even to you.
  successMessage:
- id: looksLikeAGentleman
  type: itemInInventory
  item: mustache
  failMessage:
    The maître d' eyes you suspiciously. You look familiar, and he has a
    bad feeling about you. You should probably try to disguise yourself
    somehow.
  successMessage:
    The maître d' welcomes you to Maison d'Etre. He points you to
    the back room, where your date awaits you.
rooms: 
- name: Your Apartment
  starter: true
  description:
    You wake up at home. I'm not going to lie; your apartment is pretty gross.
  paths:
    E:
    - room: Outside
  items:
  - id: honey
    name: Jar of Honey
    look:
    - A half-opened jar of honey. How it hasn't crystallized is anyone's guess.
    take: true
  - id: catHair
    name: Pile of Cat Hair
    look:
      It looks like you carefully swept the cat hair into a neat pile and then
      just... left it there. Why? WHY?
    take: true
- name: Outside
  description:
    It's a sweltering hot day outside. The entrance to your apartment
    building sits on the western end of the road, and the restaurant where
    your date takes place is around the corner a block north of here.
    A horrifying void drifts at the edge of a nearby alleyway, next to a Quiznos.
  paths:
    N: 
    - room: "Restaurant: Front Desk"
    W: 
    - room: Your Apartment
  items:
  - id: void
    name: Horrifying Void
    look:
    - A horrifying void yawns in front of you. You stare into it, and it stares back at you.
      after: loseWalletIntoTheAether
- name: "Restaurant: Front Desk"
  description:
    You stand just inside the front entrance to the Maison d'Etre, the swankest
    French restaurant in town. Until today, you've only heard tales of the
    miracles of cuisine that regularly come to fruition within these walls.
  paths:
    N:
    - room: "Restaurant: Dining Room"
      actionGuard: looksLikeAGentleman
    S:
    - room: Outside
- name: "Restaurant: Dining Room"
  description:
    In the dining room, your date waits patiently for you despite the fact
    that you are roughly 3.5 million years late. This being your fourth date,
    she seems to have known exactly what to order for you. Awesome.
  paths:
    S:
    - room: "Restaurant: Front Desk"
    items:
    - id: meal
      name: Your Meal
      description:
        The meal sits on the table, waiting just as patiently as Loretta. It
        is, impossibly, piping hot.
      take:
        actionGuard: doesntHaveWallet
        after: thereIsSuchAThingAsAFreeLunch