hubot remote me example.

remoteme.coffee

# make this URL an endpoint that returns something like the users.json file in this gist.
baseUrl = "…"

robot.respond /remote me/i, (msg) ->
  if Math.random() < 0.01
    msg.send "https://f.cloud.github.com/assets/1476/552951/f1a15572-c370-11e2-8ddd-db568c36d27a.jpg"
    return
  msg.finish()
  msg.http(baseUrl)
    .headers(headers)
    .get() (err, res, body) ->
      if err
        console.log(err)
      else
        try
          users = JSON.parse(body).users
        catch e
          console.log(body)

        # This box defines a rectangle considered to be "local".
        # In our case it’s roughly SF + Oakland or thereabouts.
        theBox =
          lats:  [   37.237,   38.050 ],
          longs: [ -122.657, -121.671 ]

        @remote_people = []
        for user in users
          if user.last_known_location
            local = theBox.lats[0]  <= user.last_known_location.lat  <= theBox.lats[1]  &&
                    theBox.longs[0] <= user.last_known_location.long <= theBox.longs[1]
            @remote_people.push(user.login.toLowerCase()) unless local

        names = @remote_people.sort()
        names = names.join(', ')
        msg.send "Whoa, " + @remote_people.length + "/" + users.length + " meatbags are remote (#{Math.floor(@remote_people.length / users.length * 1000)/10}%)"
        msg.send "Remote meatbags: #{names}"

users.json

// Have your endpoint return something like this structure.
{
  "users": [
    {
      "login": "…",
      "last_known_location": {
        "lat": …,
        "long": …
      }
    },
    …
  ]
}