Title: Tooling Troubles – The Teams Call
Cast:
- Teej (Frustrated but good-natured software engineer, builds apps using C#)
- Prime (Laid-back, recently promoted staff engineer, builds tooling in C#)
Setting: The entire scene happens during a Microsoft Teams call. Teej is dealing with a bug-filled tool that Prime built, and they go over some C# code and Jira tickets. Prime hilariously pushes back on fixing the bugs due to “timelines and resources,” and Teej is left comically exasperated by the situation.
(Teej sits at his desk, sipping coffee while scrolling through LinkedIn. He stops when he sees Prime’s latest post and reads it aloud with mock seriousness.)
Teej: (mock serious) “Excited to announce my promotion to Staff Engineer! It’s been an incredible journey, filled with leadership, innovation, and delivering impact at scale. Just launched a new tool that’s driving efficiency and optimizing workflows using cutting-edge C# solutions. Excited for what’s ahead! #Leadership #EngineeringExcellence #CodeLikeAPro.”
(Teej shakes his head, smirking, and types a quick comment.)
Teej: (typing aloud) “Congrats, Prime! Can’t wait to see that ‘workflow optimization’... as soon as I stop drowning in Jira tickets. #BugSquashing #HelpMe.”
(A few moments later, Teej’s Microsoft Teams call rings—it’s Prime. Teej answers the call, still smiling as Prime appears on screen.)
Teej: (mock serious) Finally decided to join, huh? Were you busy trying to “innovate” your way out of the pile of Jira tickets I keep filing?
(Prime grins as he holds up a mug that says, “#1 Staff Engineer.”)
Prime: (grinning) Saw your comment on LinkedIn, Teej. You’re making me sound like a corporate sellout. I’m here to solve problems, right?
Teej: (sarcastic) Oh, you’re solving problems all right—just not the ones I’m dealing with. Wanna talk about that NullReferenceException I filed? The one that’s been open longer than my patience?
Teej: (mock frustrated) Check this out—Jira ticket #861: NullReferenceException when calling FetchDataAsync(). It’s like a daily occurrence at this point.
(Teej shares his screen, showing the Jira ticket and the related C# code.)
public async Task<string> FetchDataAsync()
{
var response = await GetApiDataAsync();
return response.ToString(); // Throws NullReferenceException every time
}Teej: (pointing at the code) Every time the API returns null, your tool throws an exception like it’s a graduation cap. Should I just start assuming every response is going to blow up in my face?
Prime: (mock serious) Well, it’s handling the null response... by throwing a nice, clean exception! But okay, I see the problem. Just add a quick null check, and that ticket’s toast.
(Teej types in Prime’s suggested fix, rolling his eyes.)
public async Task<string> FetchDataAsync()
{
var response = await GetApiDataAsync();
return response?.ToString() ?? "No data available";
}Prime: (grinning) Boom! Look at that. No more null explosions. Now close that Jira ticket and pop the champagne!
Teej: (mock impressed) Wow, I didn’t realize we were in the business of “solving” one bug per day. At this rate, I’ll be free of these tickets when my grandkids retire. What’s next? You want me to throw a party every time the tool doesn’t crash?
Teej: (scrolling through Jira) Now, let’s look at Jira ticket #874: Asynchronous deadlock when running ProcessDataAsync. This task queue I’m running just gives up on life halfway through. No errors, no exceptions—just pure, unadulterated silence.
(Teej shares the Jira ticket and the C# code.)
public async Task ProcessDataAsync()
{
await Task.Delay(1000); // Simulating processing
await SendDataAsync();
}Teej: (pointing at the code) It just hangs here at SendDataAsync(). I feel like the code’s taking a coffee break and forgot to come back.
Prime: (nodding) Classic async deadlock. You’ve got a thread lock situation. Just sprinkle in ConfigureAwait(false) like some kind of magic dust, and it’ll stop being lazy.
(Teej types out Prime’s suggestion.)
public async Task ProcessDataAsync()
{
await Task.Delay(1000).ConfigureAwait(false);
await SendDataAsync().ConfigureAwait(false);
}Prime: (grinning) And voila—your async nightmare is over. Go ahead and close that one out too. We’re on a roll!
Teej: (mock serious) Oh yeah, a roll. I’m rolling straight into a wall of unhandled bugs. I’ve closed two tickets and opened six more just today. At this point, the only thing getting resolved is my will to live.
Teej: (scrolling through even more Jira tickets) Prime, I’m all for the iterative development process, but I feel like I’m spending more time in Jira than actually working. This tool is supposed to optimize my workflow, but I’m currently stuck in “Debug Mode: The Movie.”
Prime: (mock corporate voice) Look, Teej, we’re agile, okay? Continuous improvement. Fail fast, fix fast. You know the drill. A few bugs here and there is just part of the process.
Teej: (laughing) A few bugs? I’ve got more Jira tickets than lines of code at this point! This is beyond "agile"—we’re approaching “bug whack-a-mole” territory.
Prime: (mock defensive) We’ve got timelines, Teej. Resources are stretched. We can’t drop everything to fix every little issue. We’ve got deadlines, man!
Teej: (mock disbelief) Oh, I see. We’re at the “resources are tight” phase of corporate excuses. What’s next, you tell me the bugs are “out of scope”?
Prime: (grinning) Exactly. Gotta prioritize. We can’t spend all day fixing every NullReferenceException and async glitch. We’ve got big deliverables to hit! We can circle back to the bugs... someday. Maybe they’ll just fix themselves?
Teej: (laughing) Fix themselves? Yeah, maybe they’ll form a union and stage a coup. Look, if we wait any longer, we’ll be releasing “BugTracker Pro” instead of a working tool!
Prime: (mock serious) That’s a feature! Think of it like… dynamic user feedback. Bugs are just… opportunities for growth.
Teej: (mock horror) “Opportunities for growth”?! I’ve been growing more frustrated by the day! I should be filing these Jira tickets under “Feature Requests” at this point!
Prime: (laughing) Exactly. Call them “interactive features” and boom—problem solved. Jira backlog? What backlog?
Teej: (mock resigned) I see where this is going. Guess I’ll just file a new ticket for “Won’t Fix” and call it a day. Maybe I’ll create a Jira status: “It’s Not a Bug, It’s a Lifestyle.”
Prime: (grinning) Now that’s the kind of innovation we need! Look, Teej, just remember: bugs are temporary. Deadlines are eternal. You’ll thank me when we hit the next release on time!
Teej: (laughing) Sure, I’ll thank you… when I’m filing my 500th Jira ticket. Just let me know when we’ve officially rebranded bugs as “bonus features.”
Prime: (mock corporate tone) Consider it done! Efficiency optimized. Bugs deferred. Moving forward with high-impact initiatives!
Teej: (laughing) Great! I’ll start drafting my LinkedIn post: “Proud to announce that my workflow has been transformed… by never-ending Jira tickets.”
Prime: (grinning) Looking forward to that post! We’re on track—just don’t mention the bugs.
Teej: (mock serious) Bugs? What bugs? Oh right, they’re features now. Got it.
End of Meeting
Duration: 45 minutes