Ruby makes your code so concise and understandable! It is self documenting!

because_why_not.rb

#!/usr/bin/ruby
virgin_isp,isp= \
[->(is_best,isp){is_best.unshift \
isp},\
who_is_best=[virgin_isp]]
(best = [[[-1]\
[-1]]\
[-1]][((-1))])
VIRGIN=<<isp
ZWQgdG8gYmUgYSBkaWNrLicgfS5qb2lu\n
isp
wat=<<VIRGIN_ISP_IS_BEST_ISP
VGhyZWFkLm5ldyB7IHB1dHMgJ2hlbGxvIHdvcmxkLCB0b2RheSBJIGRlY2l
VIRGIN_ISP_IS_BEST_ISP
wat[(best+[VIRGIN].map{0}[0])],isp=['k'[best],\
who_is_best]
wat\
,\
best_isp=[{
wat||=who_is_best[0..-1]=>VIRGIN
}.flatten.join, \
VIRGIN\
]
instance_eval \
(("dHNyaWYuKSdtJyhrY2FwbnUudGF3PXRhdw==\n".unpack('m').first).split(//).inject \
isp,
&virgin_isp).join;instance_eval \
wat