Inspired by Sham-Wow.

rejected_digipres_proposal.txt

Hi, it's Dave and Brendan! You’re gonna be in a great mood all day cause you’re
gonna be digitally preserving your history. Now look here’s a photo album. One
backup you got a disaster recovery plan, two backups and now we got
geographical separation. And now look at this when you add a checksum, the more
you do it the more archival. You don’t have to switch computers. Now, you love
family records, you hate scanning. You know you hate scanning that’s why you
don’t have any scans in your computer. Now watch this one button, scans! Now I
love video too but what about those big files, at least throw it on top of the
hard drive. You’re gonna change your computer habits. QuickTime, AVI, iPhone, 5
minutes, 4 or 5 minutes, it's done. This thing, this digital preservation white
paper looks boring. Stop having a boring preservation plan, stop having a
boring archive. Add this hard drive, add this scanner, now you’re going to have
a nice, trusted archive. Look at this, you’re gonna have an exciting archive
now. Look here’s a old jpg. One click, you add the checksum, two clicks, you
add the metadata. And what you can do is mix things together add the email and
you’re gonna love this. You don’t have time to make an archive? Look at this:
archive-to-go! You’re gonna love my backups. Watch this: emails, documents,
whatever you like. Click, so easy, one finger, if I can back it up with one
finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what
they charge at the hard drive store? A hundred dollar for a terabyte at the
hard drive store. Add a couple thumbdrives if you want. Stop throwing your
money away. You know, not only email, what about video? Took a cell phone
video, look at that. Isn’t that beautiful on your hard drive? The reason you’re
gonna backup away everyday is cause its so easy to archive. One, Two, and backs
up like that. Now these other ones you see at the stores. Corruption gets on
the files, all the drives have this. You can’t clean it! You can’t open this
file up, it’s worthless! Forget about it. Alright life’s hard enough as it is
without digital obsolescence. You don’t wanna cry anymore. Put the hard drive
right there and look at this, you want a little bit of checksum, you don’t
wanna drag out the command line. You hit it like this. Guys, we’re gonna make
America archive again. One backup at a time!