You can do this cleanly with an ssh 'control socket'. To talk to an already-running SSH process and get it's pid, kill it etc. Use the 'control socket' (-M for master and -S for socket) as follows:
$ ssh -M -S my-ctrl-socket -fnNT -L 50000:localhost:3306 [email protected]
$ ssh -S my-ctrl-socket -O check [email protected]
Master running (pid=3517)
$ ssh -S my-ctrl-socket -O exit [email protected]
Exit request sent.
Note that my-ctrl-socket will be an actual file that is created. I got this info from a very RTFM reply on the OpenSSH mailing list.