roflscale.coffee

# <tech> is roflscale

responses = [
  "Have you thought about trying %?"
  "The only way to scale is %."
  "Why not just use %?"
  "What about using %?"
  "I heard % can handle that just fine."
]

Array::remove ?= (e) -> @[t..t] = [] if (t = @indexOf(e)) > -1

module.exports = (robot) ->
  robot.brain.data['roflscale'] = robot.brain.data['roflscale'] || []

  robot.respond /(.+) is roflscale/i, (msg) ->
    if robot.brain.data['roflscale'].indexOf msg.match[1] > -1 ||
        robot.brain.data['roflscale'].push msg.match[1]
      msg.send "Copy that."

  robot.respond /(.+) is not roflscale/i, (msg) ->
    if robot.brain.data['roflscale'].remove(msg.match[1])
      msg.send "Never thought it was."

  robot.hear /scal(e|ability|ing)/i, (msg) ->
    return if msg.message.match(/is (not )?roflscale/)
    tech = msg.random robot.brain.data['roflscale']
    msg.send msg.random(responses).replace '%', tech if tech

  robot.hear /speed/i, (msg) ->
    tech = msg.random robot.brain.data['roflscale']
    msg.send "If you want speed, just use #{tech}." if tech