ALFA: https://haavard.me/files/alfa.pdf

alfa.latex

\documentclass{article}

\usepackage{graphicx}  % for SVG logo
\usepackage{tabularx}  % for tables
\usepackage{amssymb}   % \square
\usepackage{enumitem}  % itemize
\usepackage{calc}      % calculating sizes
\usepackage[margin=1in,top=0.5in]{geometry}         % reduce margins
\usepackage[pdftex, pdfauthor={Håvard Pettersson},  % set pdf metadata
            pdftitle={Arch Linux Fuck-up Assessment Form}]{hyperref}

\renewcommand{\familydefault}{\sfdefault}  % sans serif
\pagenumbering{gobble}                     % no page numbers
\setlength{\parindent}{0pt}                % disable paragraph indent

\def\svgwidth{0.6\columnwidth}
\title{\input{arch-logo.pdf_tex}\hspace{-0.39\columnwidth}Fuck-up Assessment Form}

\author{}
\date{\vspace{-3.5em}}

\begin{document}
\maketitle

\begin{center}
\texttt{<@phrik> Welcome to \#archlinux, tell us how you fucked up.}
\end{center}

\vspace{1em}
\textbf{IRC nickname:} \dotfill
\ \textbf{Date and time of fuck-up:} \dotfill
\vspace{0.5em}

\def\arraystretch{1.5}  % increase vertical table size
\begin{tabularx}{\textwidth}{|lllX|}
\hline
\multicolumn{4}{|l|}{\textbf{What emotions were going through your head upon fucking up?} (check all that apply)} \\ \hline
\(\square\) Panic &
\(\square\) Remorse &
\(\square\) Amplified IRC elitism &
\(\square\) Fear, uncertainty and doubt \\

\(\square\) Nerdrage &
\(\square\) Wah wah wah &
\(\square\) Desire to install Ubuntu &
\(\square\) Other (please specify): \dotfill \\ \hline
\end{tabularx}

\vspace{0.5em}

% there's probably a way easier method to align the two
% "I (didn't) listen(ed) to" points but this works
\newlength{\listenedwidth}
\newlength{\didntlistenwidth}
\settowidth{\listenedwidth}{I listened to}
\settowidth{\didntlistenwidth}{I didn't listen to}

\begin{tabularx}{\textwidth}{|X|}
\hline
\textbf{What initially caused your fuck-up to occur?} (check all that apply) \\ \hline
\vspace{-8pt}
\begin{enumerate}[label={\(\square\)},noitemsep,topsep=0pt,leftmargin=*]
    \item systemd
    \item \texttt{pacman -Sy <package>}
    \item \texttt{pacman -S --force <package>}
    \item The AUR
    \item I used yaourt
    \item I installed \dotfill (packages)
    \item I ran \texttt{dd} and now my computer won't boot
    \item I didn't look it up on the Arch Wiki
    \item I looked it up on the Debian Wiki
    \item Allan broke it
    \item I tried deleting a file named {\raise.17ex\hbox{\(\sim\)}}
    \item My root partition is btrfs
    \item I used an installation script
    \item I forgot the root password
    \item I saved the root password in a text file only readable by root
    \item I copy-pasted commands from an abandoned online discussion forum
    \item I tried setting up a printer and now lp0 is on fire
    \item I couldn't find \texttt{\#archlinux}
    \item I took \texttt{\#archlinux-offtopic} seriously
    \item I listened to \makebox[7em+\didntlistenwidth-\listenedwidth]{\dotfill} (IRC nick)
    \item I didn't listen to \makebox[7em]{\dotfill} (IRC nick)
    \item I tried to be funny in IRC and got banned
    \item I put my swap file in \texttt{/tmp}
    \item I installed LUKS with a detached header and my mom washed the pants with the USB stick in them
    \item I don't know, but it wasn't my fault
    \item Other (please specify): \dotfill \vspace*{-\baselineskip}
\end{enumerate} \\ \hline
\end{tabularx}

\vspace{0.5em}

\begin{tabularx}{\textwidth}{|lllX|}
\hline
\multicolumn{4}{|l|}{\textbf{What have you tried so far to remedy your fuck-up?} (check all that apply)} \\ \hline
\(\square\) \texttt{pacman -Syu} &
\(\square\) Rebooting &
\(\square\) Reinstalling Arch Linux &
\(\square\) Installing Gentoo \\

\(\square\) Crying &
\(\square\) Crying in IRC &
\multicolumn{2}{l|}{\(\square\) Other (please specify): \dotfill} \\ \hline
\end{tabularx}

\vspace*{\fill}
\begin{center}
Please return completed form to \texttt{/dev/null} in order for your fuck-up to be assessed by a professional.
\end{center}

\end{document}

arch-logo.pdf

arch-logo.pdf_tex

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Makefile

all: alfa.pdf

alfa.pdf: alfa.latex
	latexmk -pdf $<

alfa.png: alfa.pdf
	convert -density 150 -flatten $< $@

clean: alfa.latex
	latexmk -CA $<

.PHONY: all clean alfa.pdf